All In The Eyes

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All In The Eyes
Enjoy!~Hiadel

"Ok, I'll see you guys next week for the board meeting." I said to my colleagues as I packed my things away and made my way for the door. Excitement drummed inside of me as I went off for lunch, as I hadn't eaten much of anything today and I was starving.
Walking out of the office I accidently tripped this woman walking in. Her shoe caught the door and it brought her falling towards me, and I immediately dropped the suitcase I was carrying and caught her in my arms. As I looked at her face in my arms I noticed how pretty she was. Light came in from the open doorway and illuminated her sleek eyes. Those eyes! They seemed to have me in a trance now as I couldn't tear myself away from them. The eyes seemed so tangible, so perfect, so close.
Feeling the world swirl around me I looked away from her face. There wasn't anything in the distance; the entire world seemed to have just gone blank. All there was was a black hole nearby surrounded by blue colored rays. Everything else was white as a canvas.
Looking at those beautiful blue colored rays I realized that this must be her eye. All those qualities that had been in the woman's eyes were reflected in this eye.
Walking up to the dark hole I knelt down and peered into the blackness. It seems so deep, I wondered to myself. As if fate had heard me think that I felt her eye move slightly and make me fall into her pupil.
Down her eye I went. Complete darkness surrounded me as I wondered where on earth I was heading. I wasn't really scared though, because her eyes seemed so comforting that it took away all the shock of falling into them.
Eventually I started to hit these vines as I fell through the darkness. They snapped easily as my back pierced them and slowly broke my fall. More and more of the vines appeared and eventually my fall came to an end as I crashed into a pool of water. As I brought myself up to the surface of the water I looked around to find the vines I had broken lying overhead, only partially illuminated from light entering through the hole I had fallen into. As I took a closer look around me, I noticed that there was stone encircling me on all sides. It was as if her eye was a massive well, and I was the bucket that gets sent down to collect water at the bottom.
Around the circumference of the well there was a stone platform fixed to the wall, and on that platform there was a wooden door. With nothing else to do I decided to swim over to the side of the well, hop out onto the platform, and go open the door. As I turned the doorknob and let the door swing away from me a massive amount of light flooded the entrance. It seemed so bright and magnifying that surely the light would fill the well to its brim and drown me in amazement.
Squinting my eyes I could see through the doorway a massive pile of gold heaped together in the middle of a large room. Caskets of crowns and gold bars littered the scene, and there were enough gold coins covering the floor to make it seem as if you were walking on sand instead of stone tile. It really was a sight to see all that gold sitting in that large room.
With a surge of excitement I ran into the room. I was about to dive into the pile of treasure when this invisible wall stopped me. I crashed headlong into it and stubbed backwards. Standing back up I touched this invisible force and cursed myself; why must there always be obstacles?
Turning my head away from the pile of gold I saw this small table leaning up against the side of the room with a pile of papers stacked on it. When I approached the table I sat down on a stool resting beside it and noticed a pen sitting next to the papers. Picking one of the papers up I read:


Dear Reader,
So you are ambitious take this young woman’s gold? It’s yours for the taking if you are willing to pay the heavy cost. All you have to do is sign over your love on the dotted line below, and you will get all the priceless treasures before you.


I hesitated before picking up the pen. Was all of this right? One moment I’m looking at a pretty girl’s face, and the next I’m standing in a gold-filled room questioning if I should sell my soul of to the girl for all this treasure. Looking back at the pile of gold I could feel the pressure building up. There was enough value in that pile to make a king sweat.
Screw it! I picked up the pen and decided I was going for it. I’ll deal with my love later, right now I must have that treasure! Before I was able to put pen to paper everything changed back to normal though. All those things that surrounded me seemed to fade into darkness then go blank. I found myself starring into the girl’s face again. She had blinked, causing me to fall back into reality.
“Um, you can put me down now.” She said with a light smile.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” I said, slightly blushing as I helped her to her feet and let her be on her way. I must have been in her eyes for only a couple of seconds. Watching her walk away I marveled at what I had seen in those eyes. Was it a good thing that I wasn’t able to sign that paper? Honestly I wasn’t quite sure. While I wanted all those treasures hid behind her rich eyes who knew what could lurk around other corners? Next time I’m going to have to be more careful before jumping in.
Writing is the magical release of emotion from your fingertips. Why on earth do people wish to be wizards when you have writing!




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Cute story, good moral! :) Just watch out for the little things:

...as I hadn't eaten much of anything today and I was starving.

try:... as I hadn't eaten much of anything that day an I was starving.

I dunno, it makes a little more sense to me. but honestly, I'm REALLY bad at grammer so if its right, please forgive me! :) anyway, great job, i really liked this story.
peace!
~*~fairygirl~*~
“"Up is down"? Well, that's just maddeningly unhelpful.”
~Jack Sparrow, At Worlds End




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Ok, I loved the moral of the story. Some of the grammar as said above was kind of confused, but the writing was exceptionally good. The detail in the story was well written and clear.
Life is like a gravel road. In some parts it's smooth, but in others rough. Just when you think that life is pointless, it gets better. There is always hope.



Way, way back in the 1988 Presidential election, then Vice President George H W Bush had a phrase he liked to use: "A Thousand Points of Light." It refers to the idea that a community is made up of people who contribute in a thousand, different small ways, but with each helping to illuminate their community. It's a phrase I think about a lot when it comes to YWS. Looking forward, the site will continue to change and grow, but it will always remain a community dedicated to promoting creative writing as a favorite pastime.
— Nate