The Rebel Inside Me...{Rewrote}

This was good. Just a few little nitpicks. First is that you don't really need to label every verse, and I don't think you even really need to label the chorus.

Two other things I noticed were with structure. You don't really have a rhyme scheme. Now, you don't need one, but it seemed like you were trying to rhyme in certain places, but you didn't in others, and it made it very hard to read. Also, the length of your lines and verses was very inconsistent. You should try to make each verse about the same amount of lines, and each line should be about the same length. Also, some of your lines were very short. Now, I understand what you were trying to do, but one word lines make a work hard to read. I would just combine some of the lines.

This was good, it just needs a little work.

Aside from the chorus, nothing was consistent. Also, a lot of the lines struck me as too short, and there were a lot of rhymes that appeared and disappeared at random. Honestly, I'm left wondering why you submitted this into lyrics since there's no clear and repeating structure between each of the verses. This probably would fit better in one of the poetry forums.

As far as the subject goes, it struck me as pretty unoriginal, and you didn't do anything creative with it. There's nothing that makes this piece stand out among all the others that deal with this same subject.