Sun Kissed. An old fashioned teen pregnacy

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The day in the shop had been a slow one. Only a few people from our small village came to pick up ingredients for their Sunday meal. I worked the cashier most of the day, while John worked to get the vegetables ready for sale. Beth had been sewing fabric for towels and such all afternoon, and I was bored out of my mind. But to release me from my boredom, Rebekah walked in the shop. She had her basket with her and my mothers ring was still implanted on her finger. I knew I shouldn’t feel jealousy, for I was going to marry John’s best friend, but it felt so different to me.

“Good afternoon, Rebekah. I will go get John,” I said while she walked up to the cashier.

Before I could move she grabbed my arm, causing me to stop, “Anna, I want to talk to you,” she replied, her eyes pleading.

Rebekah had always been the prettiest lady in our village. Her pale skin was always neatly powdered, showing nothing shiny, and her honey blonde hair was always in the natural perfect ringlets that flowed until her mid back. Her blue eyes were deep and her lips were always a perfect rose color with a white smile to watch. I was always jealous of her, because unlike her my nose always seemed a little shinier than it should be, my brown hair was hardly ever in perfect ringlets, and my lips always seemed a bit dull.

Then Rebekah spoke, interrupting my thoughts, “May we please go talk in private? It’s very important or I wouldn’t both you during your work time.”

“Of course, Rebekah,” I answered trying to be as polite as possible.

We walked out the back door saying hello to John and stopping for Rebekah to give him a small peck on the cheek. We walked through the back pastures and into the barn, our old hang out place when we were small and careless. Rebekah and I climbed up a latter and into the barn loft where she sat on a bale of hay, and I began to think how small she suddenly looked. Rebekah had always been a petite one, but today she looked smaller than usual.

“What is it?” I asked, sounding more harsh than I meant too.

“John and I are engaged. I’m sure you already know but…”

“Yes, I was upstairs listening when it happened,” I interrupted, “Is that all you wanted to say?”

“No, no, there is more,” she paused and I caught a glimpse of fear in her blue eyes.
After several moments of silence she began again, this time with hot tears welling up in her eyes, “I-I-I’m…pregnant.” She looked down her head falling in her lap.

For a second I felt light headed and leaned back against the wooden wall in shock.

“Is it…is it his?” I finally managed to choke out.

She nodded and I began to feel sympathy for her. I glided over to her and wrapped my arms around her, trying to soothe her uncontrollable sobs.

“Oh Anna! I just don’t know how to tell him. I’ve know for almost 5 days, and I-I-I was so relieved when he finally proposed, but now I, I just don’t know what to do!” she wailed.

“Look at me, Rebekah,” I said in a soothing voice, “If you’ll trust me, I’ll take care of it all. Just stay here and I’ll go talk to John, alright?”

She nodded once again and I climbed have way down the latter before jumping and running through the pasture. I opened the screen door to the back work room and saw John preparing the carrots. My heart began to pound, because what I was about to tell him would change everything and I wasn’t sure how he would take it.

“John?” I said quietly, almost a whisper.

“What, Anna?” He said in an annoyed voice, still angry about the fight the night before.

“I-I-I…I need to tell you something…” I paused, “About Rebekah.”

He turned around from his work and looked at me as if nothing in the world could be wrong with the two of them. Just wait until I told him.

“Ummmm…she’s uh….pregnant?” I said softly, trying to hide my voice from any customers in the store.

John’s face went from annoyed to shocked in a heart beat, and I couldn’t tell if it was from the fact his wife-to-be was pregnant, or I had found out about their secret relationship. I decided it was both and before I could blink, he vanished from his post and I saw him sprint to the barn. I followed him out their quietly, not wanting them to know about me listening.

“John…I’m so sorry,” she said through tears.

“Rebekah, it’s not your fault! It was all my idea…I shouldn’t have thought that, I just…I have no idea,” he answered, his thoughts scattered in his brain.

“I just didn’t know what to do! I was so relieved when you asked me to marry you and I don’t want us to be shunned for breaking God’s will. I’m just so…” she stopped and the two of them were quiet for several minutes and I peaked around the corner, seeing John’s lips planted on hers. My heart was breaking, just as theirs were. I didn’t want my brother and Rebekah to be shunned for their horrible deeds and I knew John would be in terrible condition from this news for who knows how long.

“John-we can’t do this again. We already broke His law once, we mustn’t do it again,” Rebekah’s sweet voice said.

“Your right, your right. Listen to me. I’ve already called the church, we can have the ceremony in two days, everyone will think it happened the moment we got married, the baby can come early and it’ll all be okay. I love you, Rebekah, more than you know and I will do anything for you and our baby,” he said quickly.

I knew John better than himself, and I knew he was painting a smile for Rebekah, because inside I knew he was shocked with the news, and guilty from his actions. He was confused and only I knew it. I knew he would need me.




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“May we please go talk in private? It’s very important or I wouldn’t both you during your work time.”


I'm sure this is meant to be bothered

Rebekah and I climbed up a latter and into the barn loft where she sat on a bale of hay,


Now either I'm sure you spell ladder this way or I'm reasonably stupid.

I’ve know for almost 5 days

Its Known right?

He vanished from his post and I saw him sprint to the barn. I followed him out their quietly, not wanting them to know about me listening.


How did he know she was in the barn?


Hmm... Very interesting! I loved your description of your characters.
:P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P

I give you 5/5 dancing elephants for creativity.
:elephant: :elephant: :elephant: :elephant: :elephant:

I give you 3 1/2 for spelling and grammar.
:elephant: :elephant: :elephant: :D
Yeah... I don't know how to do a half elephant so I will do a smiley face instead.

Your very creative!
I look forward to reading another one of you're stories!

Smexx




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Hey there!

I liked this. I've always enjoyed old fashioned stories, and this one made me feel like I was being transported to another time. I was a little confused when you said that her mother's ring was on Rebekah's finger, because you didn't give me a very clear picture of who was related to who at first.

I really liked the way you didn't use the pregnant girl as your main character. So many writers are doing that lately that it's become overused.

All in all, it was good. PM me with the next part.

-youreit
I smile, because I'd rather have laugh lines than a perma frown. :)




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I am not going to bother with the little things because they have been taken care of. I think that I like this, but I think that there should be something that makes you say wow. I mean when they talk, you know what is going to happen. If he didn't believe what's her name when she told him his wife-to-be was prego then it would create a good conflict in the story. If they dissagreed more it would make it more interesting, I think at least. Anyway I hope I helped some.

Keep Writing

-Flower-
My reality comes to a close as I once again realize that you don't love me, and even if I love you with my everything you will never care.




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