"Mother"

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Haven't been on for a while! :oops: So sorry. :( This short poem is about a conversation between a mother and a son, who had been trapped under a collapsed building, an event that I believe occurred to a school in China. Even though the two couldn't see each other, they talked until the last when the moment of boy's death arrived, two days later. Please review, I want to get better at the writer's craft! 8)


“Take faster the hands of your mother, little one,
The road to heaven is yet dark.
We are going to go with you straight ahead -
You’ll need my care.”

“I’m scared, mother,
I can’t see your hands or the sun,
I’ll never see again.
The wall is getting heavier, and the fire
Inside me is calming dead.
I can’t see you.”

“My baby, don’t worry and
Just go straight ahead.
All my woes are forgotten before you.
The family weeps; remember us,
Promise?
You own our thoughts today.”

“I’m scared, mother,
I can’t see your hands or the sun,
I’ll never see again.
There isn’t enough life left.
Mother, don’t cry,
Love lively children, protect them;
My friends and I are going to go.
But before we go,
Bless our hearts.
Your silhouette, mother, is kept safe
In the memory of my slow heart.
No matter what, death will always come;
But maybe in our next life --
I’m scared, mother.
I can’t see your hands or the sun.
The glimmering of my fire is
Going blind.”
"You stand on the brink of greatness. The world will open to you like an oyster. No... not like an oyster. The world will open to you like a magnificent vagina." - "Bullets over Broadway", Woody Allen, Douglas McGrath




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Ohmygosh, I heard about this and this seriously brought tears to my eyes. You really showed emotion in this peice. Right after I went into the kitchen and hugged my parents. They asked me what was wrong and I showed them this. This makes my heart ache, but feel at peace. Great job, I love it.
Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you,
and hold for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole... as you flew right through me.


~Sorrow by Flyleaf




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Gender Female
Points 4357
Reviews 13
This is a really sad topic, I wanted to show the intimacy between the mother and the son because when we hear bad news on the television or even on the radio - we sometimes don't realize that these are real people we're talking about... These people are remembered as numbers, as statistics, and not as individuals who could have had a brilliant future and who could have made a difference in this world. In the end, everything sometimes comes down to chance and luck - and that's really not fair. Anyways... I'm glad you liked this piece! Thanks for reviewing! :)
"You stand on the brink of greatness. The world will open to you like an oyster. No... not like an oyster. The world will open to you like a magnificent vagina." - "Bullets over Broadway", Woody Allen, Douglas McGrath



It's unsettling to know how little separates each of us from another life altogether.
— Wes Moore, The Other Wes Moore