ode to my bed

A feeling I cannot replace
Is the love I find in the space
Of your unbreakable embrace
My love.

And when life drives us apart,
Loneliness enters my heart,
A feeling that will not depart,
My life.

I cherish the feeling of safety
Of warmth and peaceful tranquillity,
Amongst your layers of luxerity,
My bed.

Hi,

I really enjoyed this. It flows nicely and I love how it seems like a love poem and turns unconventional at the end. The last stanza in particular was really great.

My only criticism is that; "A feeling that will not depart" sounds a little clunky.

Hope this helps,

Jas

Hey ichigo! Very well done! Like Jasmine said above me ^^^^^, I love the type of poems that get you thinking it's a love poem (romantically speaking) and it turns out to be an inanimate object of some sort. Plus, I absolutely adore odes. (I think that's the plural form, correct me if I'm wrong.) There's nothing as far as I can see that you need to work on, so keep up the good work! I'm looking forward to reading anything else you post on here.

Have a great day! God Bless!

This was very cool!

first of all, I have to ask: Is there a double meaning to this? Because it seems like it. If not for the title, and the little line at the bottom of the second stanza, I would have thought it a romantic poem. But I guess not.

I loved it! It was both unique and form-fitting. It showed emotion and gave me an idea of how you felt about your loving bed. Good job.

Love,
Fixed

i really liked it
it was an interesting subject you talked about but to me you pulled it off just perfectly just perfectly
hope you keep writing so that i can continue to read your work