The Climactic Final Battle Between Metropolitan Man and The Sewer Rat; Chapter Five in Issue Four of the ‘It’s A Hell of a Town’ Series
A panel, with the skyline of New York City against a dark stormy sky.
A panel showing Metropolitan Man in the backseat of a taxi, not wearing a seatbelt. He has smashed a hole in the Plexiglas barrier and is reaching through to throttle the foreign looking driver. “Can’t you go any faster?” says Metropolitan Man.
A panel showing the driver, drawn from the side. He has light brown skin and a black moustache. Sweat is pouring down his face. “I’m going as fast as I can!” says the driver. According to the meter, this ride will cost Metropolitan Man $22.40.
A panel drawn from a street view, showing the taxi speeding across an intersection, with a red stoplight hanging above. Cars coming across the road swerve off or break suddenly. ‘Honk!’ says a station wagon, irritably.
Close up panel of Metropolitan Man. “WATCH OUT!” he says. Just like that, all caps.
Close up panel of the taxi driver looking stricken.
A panel showing Metropolitan Man leaping out the door of the cab, which is mounting onto the sidewalk, wheels spinning out of control. He is holding a briefcase. Passerby-a mother, a child, a police officer-are scattering to avoid getting hit.
‘SMASH!’ in large, orange letters drawn with perspective, and surrounded by a yellow seven-pointed star.
A long, rectangular panel showing he taxi imbedded in a fire hydrant, water gushing out onto the pavement. The taxi driver slumped over the wheel. Passerby are collecting near the accident. Metropolitan Man is in the foreground, running. Metropolitan Man has no time for taking photographs or exchanging insurance information. ‘I’ve got to get to the museum!’ Metropolitan Man thinks.
‘Meanwhile…’ in a large white box.
A panel detailing the façade of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, lit up like an altar. ‘The Metropolitan Museum of Art’ is written along the bottom of the frame, because not all readers are from New York. And not all New Yorkers have been to the Met.
A panel showing a dark room with the outlines of furniture. A desk with a lamp. A gloomy window, lightning outside, flashing a cross-hatch pattern across a bookcase. There is a featureless figure sitting behind the desk, the silhouette of a fedora on a head.
Close up panel on the figure. The face has a sinister grin with two large gold teeth among several rotted ones. The rest of the face is inexplicably dark and featureless, despite the bleak shafts of light coming in through the window.
A thin panel with crooked edges, showing a crooked finger pressing a large red button on the desk. The rest of the background has almost no color to it. The desk is a dark shade of grey. The window outside is grey. Buttons, however, are always red. There is no explaining it.
A panel drawn from behind the figure, looking at the door on the opposite side of the room.
A panel showing the door, cracked open with a face looking through. ‘You called?’ the face asks.
A panel showing the grinning silhouette again. “Is everything alright Mev? Is everything going well?”
A panel showing Mev, looking worried in the door frame. He is wearing a greasy t-shirt with rips down the side, and jeans with holes. The unfashionable kind. “No sign of Metropolitan Man yet, if that’s what you mean, but we’ll keep you posted.”
A panel from behind again. Mev edging out the door while the figure speaks. “You’d better. We’ve worked too long to allow Metropolitan Man to interfere. You must be watchful. Metropolitan Man cannot be let in!”
A panel to show the door shutting. “Slam!” says the door.
A panel showing the figure turning on the desk lamp. The figure behind the desk is illustrated for the first time. He is a sickly shade of green, with a long, crooked nose, long whiskers, and a tattered pinstriped suit. Drool overflows out of a corner of his mouth. This is unmistakably the arch villain, the dreaded Sewer Rat. “If he gets into this museum,” The Sewer Rat says to the room, “I’ll have your scalp… after his.”
A panel catching a lightning strike outside the window. The Sewer Rat throws back his head, lifts his arms into the air and yells, “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA” in large, bold letters. Just like that, and in all caps.
Another white box. ‘Meanwhile…’
A panel for Metropolitan Man in front of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. We see his costume fully. He is dressed in a full spandex jumpsuit, that’s designed to look like a full business suit, with a black tie. He holds his briefcase at his side.
A split panel, one showing Metropolitan Man’s eye, and the other showing what he’s looking at, two guards, on either side of the door. ‘Looks like this place is on lockdown’ Metropolitan Man thinks.
A panel spotting Metropolitan Man, flattened against a pillar, and sneaking a glance around it.
A panel showing Metropolitan Man opening his briefcase, and pulling a grey beard from it. ‘Time to give them the old razzle dazzle.’ Metropolitan Man thinks.
The typical white box with the words ‘Two Minutes Later.’
A panel for Metropolitan Man, in disguise behind the pillar. Metropolitan Man has a ragged grey beard, and is wearing baggy jeans and an oversized parka. In the background, there is now a third guard at the door. “Seen anything yet?” the new guard asks. “Not yet,” says another.
A panel drawn from behind the guards, Metropolitan Man walking out from behind the pillar with a cane, and the guards swiveling their heads to look at him. One guard thinks the extremely rhetorical, ‘?!?’.
A panel drawn from behind Metropolitan Man. The third guard is Mev. “What do you want?” he asks. “I want…’ says Metropolitan Man in a quotation that drifts to the next panel.
A panel finishing the sentence from the previous panel. “…To get in!” Metropolitan Man says, pulling his briefcase out from under his parka with a flourish.
A panel showing two guards, visibly alarmed, reaching for their pistols while Metropolitan Man is bringing the briefcase down on the other guard’s head.
A panel showing Metropolitan Man, suddenly in front of a yellow background, delivering a startling uppercut with the briefcase to the second guard, who drops his pistol.
A panel showing Mev, pointing his pistol at the side of the panel, looking deranged. “Not so fast!” he says.
‘‘BANG!’ in large, blue letters drawn with perspective, and surrounded by a red seven-pointed star.
A panel showing Metropolitan Man, now in front of an orange background, holding his briefcase up to shield his face. The bullet bouncing off the briefcase, leaving behind helpful black lines to show its trajectory.
A panel that’s longer on top than at the bottom, showing Metropolitan Man knocking the pistol out of Mev’s hand with the briefcase. Mev looks surprised.
A close up panel of Mev being held above the ground by the collar of his shirt. “In this town,” Metropolitan Man says, leering, “The Bronx is up…”
A panel drawn from street level and finishing the sentence. “… And the Battery’s down.” Metropolitan Man says, tossing Mev off the top of the steps.
A panel drawn from behind. Metropolitan Man walking into the museum, and discarding his fake beard next to the unconscious guards. ‘So much for security.’ he says.
A long thin panel reveling in the interior of the museum. Metropolitan Man is walking through a large room designed in classical Roman style.
A panel shot from above, with the silhouette of The Sewer Rat in the foreground and looking down at Metropolitan Man walking through the gallery. ‘Fools, I’ll have to take care of him myself.’ thinks The Sewer Rat.
The white box again, this time saying ‘Later!’
A panel drawn from afar with Metropolitan Man standing at the reflecting poor in front of the Temple of Dendur. ‘I don’t get it,’ he thinks, ‘I’ve traced The Sewer Rat to this location, but there’s no sign of him, or his plot.’
Close up panel of Metropolitan Man he looks suddenly wary. Green tendrils of some terrible odor drift in front of his nose. “Unless…” he says.
A panel with The Sewer Rat in the foreground. “You couldn’t hide forever, rat!” says Metropolitan Man, spinning to look at him. “Metropolitan Man,” says The Sewer Rat, “What an unfortunate visit… for you.”
A panel of Metropolitan Man, brandishing the briefcase, looking petulant. “What’s your plan, rat? Why have you come here?”
A panel of The Sewer Rat, looking triumphant. “You’re just in time to find out, Metropolitan Man. Tonight everything I have worked on for years will fall into place, and you will be here to witness it. After tonight, the whole city will be forced to acknowledge my genius. After tonight, there will be no stopping me.”
A close up panel of Metropolitan Man’s face turning puce. “That’s what you think, but I won’t let you get away with your plans for urban domination. Whatever you try, you’ll have to contend with me. This ends, now!”
A panel beginning with the words “Don’t come any closer” and showing The Sewer Rat, producing Young Woman with a Water Pitcher from a black bag. “Vermeer!” says Metropolitan Man.
Close up panel on The Sewer Rat and his rotten grin. “That’s right, Metro Man, if you try to stop me, I’ll destroy this priceless piece of artwork… on your head!” From out of the panel, Metropolitan Man shouts “No!”
A panel showing a clock, somewhere, hitting midnight.
A panel for The Sewer Rat, shown from slightly below, with the painting in one hand, and a controller with a red button in the other. His thumb is covering the button. “And now, Metro Man, it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for. It’s time for my opening!
Another thin panel with crooked edges. The crooked finger hitting the red button.
Close up panel of Metropolitan Man looking pained. ‘What heinous contraption will Sewer Rat unveil now?’ he thinks.
A large rectangular panel. From the floor, a huge brown and green mass has risen up to the ceiling. It is an amorphous mess of dirt, sludge, bicycle tires, trash cans, street signs, young infants, chairs and other refuse. The Sewer Rat and Metropolitan Man are small compared to the structure. “BEHOLD! MY MASTERPIECE!” yells The Sewer Rat. Exactly like that, with the caps.
Close up panel of The Sewer Rat in triumph.
A long panel, showing The Sewer Rat on the left side, and Metropolitan Man on the right. The massive sculpture is between them. “I knew from an early age that it’d be a struggle to be noticed in this world,” says The Sewer Rat, “At first I tried petty crime but that didn’t get me notoriety. Then I began to commit greater and greater crimes, and that gained me notoriety, but something was missing. My work was being noticed, but it wasn’t conveying the messages I wanted it to convey. The underlying themes weren’t getting across.”
Close up panel of The Sewer Rat. “I thought long and hard about what was needed, what was missing, why I felt unfulfilled, why I still felt ignored. And then it stuck me. My work was brutal, and violent. It lacked finesse, it lacked the artists touch. I began experimenting with painting, but my hands are ill-suited to fine brush work.”
Close up panel of the The Sewer Rat, from the other side. “I tried pottery, but that didn’t provide the emotional power that I wanted. Weaving was a lost cause. It was when I was robbing the Neuberger Museum, last March, that I discovered the art I needed. I needed to create a statue, a monument to my ideas. At last, I turned to my true calling…”
Close up panel of Metropolitan Man. “… bad sculpture.” he finishes.
A panel showing The Sewer Rat, gesturing as if giving a tour. “You think it’s bad?” he asks, “I think it’s revolutionary. I think my use of non-traditional materials in a traditional medium provides the viewer with a sensory experience they cannot get from a painting. It is hard to miss the emotional core of the piece.”
A panel showing Metropolitan Man pointing aggressively to the floor. “We could argue all day about the nature of art, rat, but I didn’t come here to look at art, or garbage heaps masquerading as sculpture. I came to rid this city of your menace, I came to fight to the death.”
A panel showing The Sewer Rat, staring up at his sculpture and letting the Vermeer fall to the ground. “Very well,” he says, “I will fight you for the future of this city.”
A triangular panel, showing The Sewer Rat, leaping in front of a black background.
A triangular panel, fitting into the other panel showing Metropolitan Man crouching, briefcase at the ready in front of a red background.
‘CRASH!’ in large, yellow letters drawn with perspective, and surrounded by a red seven-pointed star.
A panel showing The Sewer Rat and Metropolitan Man grappling in front of the sculpture, with the Temple of Dendur behind it.
A panel showing The Sewer Rat throwing Metropolitan Man into a different room.
A panel showing Metropolitan Man bringing his briefcase down on The Sewer Rat’s head in front of The Great Wave off Kanagawa.
A panel showing The Sewer Rat delivering an uppercut to Metropolitan Man’s chin in front of Washington Crossing the Delaware.
A panel showing Metropolitan Man holding The Sewer Rat in a headlock, with Duccio’s Madonna and Child hanging quietly behind.
A panel showing Metropolitan Man blocking a sword thrust from The Sewer Rat with his briefcase in the medieval arms room. Knight armor lines the walls.
A panel showing Metropolitan Man knocking The Sewer Rat out of the medieval arms room with a riposte from his briefcase. The Sewer Rat’s eyes are drawn as X’s.
A panel drawn from behind. Metropolitan Man standing above The Sewer Rat, lying on the floor, bloody, with a tooth lying nearby. “Go back to whence you came, rat!” says Metropolitan Man.
A panel drawn from behind The Sewer Rat, looking up at Metropolitan Man. “You don’t understand,” The Sewer Rat says, “I have nowhere to go.” Metropolitan Man looks confused. “What?” he says.
Close up panel of The Sewer Rat, who looks like a mess. “You have defeated me, Metropolitan Man, I don’t have much longer. You never understood, Metropolitan Man. This is my home, born and raised. I can’t leave the city that created me.”
Close up panel of Metropolitan Man, raising an eyebrow. “And yet you’ve made a career trying to destroy this city. You make me sick, Sewer Rat.”
Close up panel of The Sewer Rat, still looking worse for the wear. “Do you know where I come from, man? I grew up in poverty. I never had hope for the future. I dropped out of high school to pursue a life of crime, because that was all I had, you know? And I became good being the villain, I became good at theft, good at murder, good at extortion. I almost lost touch with my roots, but I got it back. I started to dream bigger. I dedicated my life to art, and to working for the poor and impoverished. And then that‘s where you came it.”
Panel drawn from far away. The Sewer Rat’s statue is seen in the background. The Sewer Rat is still speaking. “You never understood me, Metropolitan Man, you never got that all I wanted to do was to draw attention to those ignored by this city. Those living on the margins. I’m like Robin Hood, It’s act utilitarianism. Have you ever read John Stuart Mill?”
Close up panel of Metropolitan Man furrowing his brow. “Utilitarianism is unfeasible in that it does not protect individual liberties. It is impossible to understand the implications of one’s acts, and therefore we are bound to perform just acts over pursuing just means.”
Close up panel of The Sewer Rat. “Kantian ethics doesn’t address the inherently unequal distribution of resources in our society.”
Close up panel of Metropolitan Man. “If in order to achieve equality in our society, it were necessary to violate individual rights, then this would be an unjust society. In your quest to achieve equality of outcomes, you have neglected to treat people as an ends in themselves. Instead, equality of opportunity is the most that can be hoped for without violating human rights.”
Panel of The Sewer Rat, still prone on the floor. ‘COUGH!’ he says, coughing up blood in all caps.
Close up panel of The Sewer Rat. “Poverty is itself a violation of individual rights. At best, poverty is the result of rotten luck, at worst it’s a by-product of past injustice. Fairness and equality can only be achieved if the unequal distribution of resources is taken into account. Consider Rawls, and his argument for the difference principle. If justice is fairness, then justice must aim to benefit those who have less.”
Close up panel of Metropolitan Man. “The difference principle is secondary to the maximum equal liberty principle, and you’ve trampled on a lot of individual liberties to achieve your ends, rat. It is finally time that you faced your criminal past.”
Close up panel of The Sewer Rat, sheding a tear. “I am comfortable with that, Metropolitan Man. I knew my life of crime would catch up to me in the end. But I would not change a thing if I could do it again. I know that I have worked *cough!* for the benefit of those who deserve it, and history will remember my contribution as such. That is why I turned to art. It is more permanent.”
Panel of Metropolitan Man. “It is not to be, Sewer Rat. By tomorrow morning, I will have removed your horrible sculpture from the grounds of this museum. No one will see it.”
Close up panel of The Sewer Rat. “Ah, Metropolitan Man, that’s where you’re *cough* wrong. I have installed a motion activated one and a half ton bomb into the center of the sculpture. If you try to remove it, *cough!* everything in a block radius will be incinerated.”
Close up panel of Metropolitan Man, looking alarmed. “What? So it’s permanent?”
Panel showing The Sewer Rat in the foreground with the sculpture behind. “That sculpture contains souvenirs from each and everyone of my heists. It represents my life’s work, my career. I don’t want to be… *cough! cough!* …forgotten.”
Panel drawn from above, with The Sewer Rat lying on the floor. His eyes are X’s again.
Close up panel of Metropolitan Man, looking somber.
Close up panel of Metropolitan Man. “No man is an island entire of itself,” Metropolitan Man says, “Each is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.”
Panel drawn from far away, showing The Sewer Rat lying on ground, with Metropolitan Man standing above him. “Each man’s death diminishes me, for I am involved in mankind.”
Panel showing the façade of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, lit up like an altar. The sky is dark, but not stormy. The museum says “Therefore send not to know for whom the bell tolls.”
Panel showing the skyline of Manhattan. Buildings are full of lit windows. “It tolls for thee.” says the city.
‘THE END’ in serious yellow letters in front of a grey background.
