Love Bites!

As you broke my heart it fell to the floor
It crawled and wanted more
But you cant give a frown to let someone down
We used to laugh
We used to cry
We used to do things all the time
But now you left me nothing to say
But I wanted you to stay
Then love bites again
When you get bit you cant love nor a little bit

haha you should make that into a song

Yeah, lol that would be funny!

BlueSkyes99 wrote:As you broke my heart it fell to the floor.
It crawled and wanted more,
But you cant give a frown to let someone down.
We used to laugh,
We used to cry.
We used to do things all the time,
But now you left me nothing to say.
But I wanted you to stay,
Then love bites again.
When you get bit you cant love nor a little bit

I edited the grammer mistakes. I'm not really understand your last line...Why can't you love if you get bit? And why only 'A little bit'?
Your rhyming was very...unoriginal. I'm not saying it wasn't good, it was just...very cliche.
Good jobs, anyways.
Riot.[:

Yeah when I was writing it I was half asleep, so yeah.

Yeah I never went to sleep for like 24 hours and I wanted to go to sleep at 2:00mp

why post something if you know its not your best?

i don't believe for a second your grammar mistakes were because you were half asleep

its because you rushed through it and you don't actually give a damn about poetry.

read something.

anyway: i thought your poem was cliche and very forgetable

Wow your very nice.

I'm new here so yeah and shut your big mouth.

i really liked it though your last line sorta didn't make too much sense i liked how it sounded all together
hope you feel better and that no one else breaks your heart
keep writing your talented