Cheated on me

I was barely alive,
till you entered my life.
I was falling apart,
till you gave me your heart.

Now you pushing the limit,
but I don't want to end it.
All the moments you steal,
trying hard not to feel.

I should have known from the get go,
that I'd soon have to let go.
This ain't a democracy,
I just want you to leave.

Cause I don't want to see,
your reflection in me.
It was all just a set up,
I promise I'll never let up.

Now it's my turn to choose,
whether you win or loose.
All the times that I tried,
all the ways that you lied.

But tell me part of its true,
cause its me and its you.
Going back to the start,
when you gave me your heart.

Now I got you forever,
and you wish that you never

ever , girl you know you wish that you never...

cheated on me.

Hey! I see you barely just posted this lol. I just posted one of mine too.
Nitpicks:

till you entered my life.

till you gave me your heart.

I think "till" should be " 'til' " because it's a short version of until.

Now you pushing the limit

you should you're.

this ain't a democracy

ain't is slang...try not to use it in poems.

OMG I WANT TO REVIEW THE REST BUT ITS CUT OFF ON THE BOTTOM OF MY IPOD SCREEN!! so I'll let someone else do it:(
annnywaaaays I liked it was dramatic in a good way.

I take it this is meant to be read aloud? It's a great idea. I don't know if you're familiar with the genre or the idea of slam poetry, because I am not, but even without knowing much about it, I have a few suggestions.

First of all, in the form, feel free to make it more free-flowing. Rhyme three lines with each other. Make some lines shorter, some longer, take pauses where you need to, and don't feel like you have to just make couplets. I think that a freer style of writing will lend itself better to be read out loud.

Secondly, if you keep the poem as it is, it's a story of a relationship. But basically, all relationships are the same. The only interesting point that you bring out is the dynamics of the relationship after the cheating happened -- the power trips, the emotions. There's not nearly enough of that in here, though. It's a little dry.

There are good parts:

I should have known from the get go,
that I'd soon have to let go.

This ain't a democracy,
I just want you to leave.

I like those parts because they have good rhythm and solid meaning, but I think you might want to pick the rest up and make it better!

PM me if you have any questions. ^_^ It's a decent start!

-Hannah-

... wow... very nice
sadly, I can relate very, very well...

anyways, here's a review

MattJF wrote:I was barely alive,
till you entered my life.
I was falling apart,
till you gave me your heart.

First off, first paragraph is really good
Second, this may be nitpicking but when you use "till" it should be "'till" because it's short for until

MattJF wrote:Now you pushing the limit,
but I don't want to end it.
All the moments you steal,
trying hard not to feel.

you should be you're, but other than that I can't really see anything wrong.

MattJF wrote:I should have known from the get go,
that I'd soon have to let go.
This ain't a democracy,
I just want you to leave.

as mentioned above, you really shouldn't use slang in poetry, unless it fits with the theme, etc.
"ain't" just doesn't sit well with the lines around it.

MattJF wrote:Cause I don't want to see,
your reflection in me.
It was all just a set up,
I promise I'll never let up.

Nice wording in the second line, can't see anything that annoys me too much.

MattJF wrote:Now it's my turn to choose,
whether you win or loose.
All the times that I tried,
all the ways that you lied.

"loose" should be "lose"

MattJF wrote:But tell me part of its true,
cause its me and its you.
Going back to the start,
when you gave me your heart.

Can't see anything wrong here

MattJF wrote:Now I got you forever,
and you wish that you never

??ever ,?? girl you know you wish that you never...

cheated on me.

Shouldn't the "ever," be on the previous line?

anyways, amazing poem
sorry bout the pretty pathetic review I haven't reviewed anything in a while
-Grimy

This was deep! I really enjoyed this part:

"Now I got you forever,
and you wish that you never
ever , girl you know you wish that you never...
cheated on me."

Keep it real and remember always be you!
Each poem is special and using slang is called using "dialect" and it does work!
Some times pretty words don't suffice and can't get the meaning across like slang can.