Writing Challenge 11/28 Fly Day

11 posts
Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 1160
I sit under a rock today
I glare up at the sun
When suddenly from under me
The rock shakes and quivers
And then rockets towards the sky

It's the oddest Wednesday of the year
As I float on over to school
The hovering-buses are delivering children
And Mr. Madison is walking his flying fish
[bah-boom, Tish... Ha-ha...]

My pencils during the test fly away
as well as my test
Up into the air they soar, and with a keen hand
I write my answers in midair

At lunch the Populars declared a food fight,
but as they lifted up their mashed potatoes
And threw them at me
I blew like the Big Bad Wolf
And it was actually quite a treat to see them
Covered with toxic meat and quite edible

At art we tried to paint murals
A dedication to our school
But the reds and blues and yellows kept floating up
And soon the room was the mural
The art teacher, eccentric they all are, loved it

After school a car, soaring 60 miles per hour
nearly hit me while I was tying my moon boots
(Just another fancy word for hard kickin' boots)
I watched some television and lost the remote
It was stuck between the lightbulbs in the fan again

Later that night I flew on over to a friends birthday party.
We sang "Happy birthday!" she blew on her candles
And the cake followed with it, crashing against her little brother's face
(His frosted expression was as cold as ice cream
So we began to eat off his face)

At night I got cold again, my dad didn't turn on the heat
My bed kept hovering towards the ceiling, crushing me
So that night I slept with the matresses to the ceiling
And my covers near the floor

(And the next day I got squished)


I know, I know, tis terrible, but I don't care... I'm bored in Computer class so I decided to enter this. No such luck as last week I bet, but this is still fun. Fun!
Last edited by Elizabeth on Thu Dec 01, 2005 6:57 pm, edited 2 times in total.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 2340
Reviews 447
I'm in a really hyper mood and this had me laughing... a lot...

This was probably my favorite stanza:

At art we tried to paint murals
A dedication to our school
But the reds and blues and yellows kept floating up
And soon the room was the mural
The art teacher, eccentric they all are, loved it


It's just such a cool idea to have the whole room as the mural.
The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. ~William Shakespeare, Othello
Boo. SPEW is watching.




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 1160
Hahaha
Thank's alot.
I wish the artroom, which is right over there *points left* woul dbe as pretty as I imagined here...
Yay for hyperness!




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 71
Hmm.. In my story No Gravity Day was every Wednesday.. Anywho I loved it! Especially the first three stanzas. :D




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1115
Reviews 122
Wednesday is spelled wrong in the first line of the second stanza.

"And it was actually quite a treat to see them digestive "
Do you mean digested? Even so, I don't quite get it as it sounded like you were just blowing all the mashed potatoes away.

"nearly hit me while I was tying my moon boots"
You never explain what 'moon boots' are, and it sounds like you got the idea for them from Niobe's entry for the writing challenge.

In any case, I really liked this. Thought it was really funny, and you did a great job of explaining each scene of the day. Your flow is pretty good, and, all in all, it's great.

Really liked it!
If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.
Isaac Asimov




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 1160
I didn't read hers until AFTER MY GODDAMN POEM!
wtf is everybody accusing me of copying them? GODDAMNIT
FINE I'LL DEFINE DAMN MOON BOOTS!




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1050
Reviews 267
This was interesting!!! :D The only thing I'll point out is that in the first stanza, it says you're sitting under a rock, and then the next lines say you're sitting on the rock.... ?




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 71
The Black Rose wrote:I didn't read hers until AFTER MY GODDAMN POEM!
wtf is everybody accusing me of copying them? GODDAMNIT
FINE I'LL DEFINE DAMN MOON BOOTS!


Actually anyone could have thought of moon boots, mine are Moonboots without a space and has a capitalised 'M'.

My idea came from the moon and 'space walking'.




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 9690
Reviews 91
I like both the poem and Niobe's prose.

It's just such a cool idea to have the whole room as the mural.


I agree!
In all the time we have
There is never enough time
To show what is in our heart.




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 1160
I'm sorry I shouted, it was a bad day... but yeah...
I shoulda called them earth boots but... lol... she was still floating.




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 71
The Black Rose wrote:I'm sorry I shouted, it was a bad day... but yeah...
I shoulda called them earth boots but... lol... she was still floating.


Earth boots? NO! 'Tis horrible!



As the notifications drift in I stop and wonder. Why do they take so long? Do they have adventures we don't know about? I bet they do. When they come I will ask myself. What amazing adventure has this straggling notification been on? How far did it travel, and why didn't it take me?
— TypoWithoutCoffee