“You’re finally getting everything you wished for,” my mother sighed. Her smug face grinned widely as she cradled the not-so-understated wedding dress, she had ordered for me from Paris.
“Try it on Ethelda love, try it on. You’re going to look like such a Princess.”
I could do nothing more than smile and nod in false agreement. I had been dreading moments like this ever since Gideon proposed to me. From that moment Meredith had completely taken over all of the wedding arrangements.
All I had to do was sit, look and listen – or at least pretend like I was. I had had endless amounts of pictures of flowers, dresses, favours, and a whole load of other things that I cared scarcely about, thrust in my face.
It was clear that my mother had no intention of having me truly involved in the process it was more of a look at this, it is what you are having, situation. It actually turned out to be an understanding between us both, she was happy planning the wedding and I was happy pretending it wasn’t really happening.
My feet were ice but I knew that, like always, I had to shake away those feelings and just get on with it. I didn’t even feel open enough to speak to Cassie even though I knew she would never judge me and that she’d understand.
In my head I daydreamed about calling it all of and running away somewhere nice. I imagined that it had never happened at all, that I was allowed to be the teenager that I was. Nineteen years old wasn’t old enough to get married and start a family, I knew that, I understood that so why couldn’t anybody else?
Meredith stood silently as she admired the fluorescent pink, satin princess dress. With it’s halter neckline, floor-length hemline, basque waist, train and more bead, lace, sequins and appliqués than necessary. She had droned on about the dress so much that I could do my own sales-pitch for it if I wanted.
Watching her with the dress made me realise how little my mother knew about me. The worst thing of all was the fact that she had no desire to want to get to know me.
As her friends arrived she retired to the other room to begin the celebrations. She had whisked them into the living room first, of course, where I was stood holding the now infamous dress. They ‘ooh-d’ and ‘ahh-d’ and then went off to drink some over-priced champagne.
Before she left, Meredith snapped her fingers transforming the living room into a dressing room complete with floor-to-ceiling mirrors and insisted I try it on. Reluctantly I slipped on the dress as the sickening feeling in my gut intensified.
I examined myself from every possible angle. The crease in my brown was becoming a fixture as it became impossible for me to be optimistic. The only thing I could compare myself to was a marshmallow - one giant, pink, and sparkly marshmallow.
I had already reached the conclusion that things could not get worse before Meredith shouted over,
“The veil dear, the veil…don’t forget to try that too,” and to my dismay, it got worse.
Utterly defeated and completely dismayed I drooped to the floor. I was weak and pathetic and too scared to do what I wanted. Both my head and my heart wanted the same thing but still, I hadn’t the guts to call it off.
The sound of a familiar laugh startled me. I would recognise that laugh anywhere even though I hadn’t heard it in some years. As I looked up into the mirrors I could see my grandmother standing in front of me. A huge smile sat on her face. I knew this was impossible but I didn’t care I was just glad to see her face again.
“Well, what do you look like dear? That dress is certainly interesting.”
Even her ghost seemed to echo my feelings with her pleasantly put sarcasm. I smiled my first genuine smile in a long time and it brought tears to my eyes.
“Whatever is the matter, dear?” She asked.
I wanted so badly to be able to lay in her arms and cry like I did when I was a child. I desperately wanted her to stay with me forever. But I knew that her visit would be short and soon I would lose her again.
“I’m sorry,” I apologised for my uncontrolled tears, “I was never expecting to see you again, and now here you are, and I don’t want you to go, I need you Grams, more than ever.”
My Grams had always been my best friend. Both Cassie and I had been closer to her than we were to even Meredith. I was completely heartbroken when she died. The one thing that scared me most was that, in time, I would forget her face and I was right to be scared.
Looking at her in the mirror I could see so many freckles and wrinkles I had forgotten. I had seen her sweet smile and her beautiful eyes that had faded away. I felt desperate now to commit each detail to my memory once again. I knew it was unlikely that I’d ever see it again.
“I am always with you,” she said “Ethelda, surely you know that I would never leave you. I watch over you everyday dear. But you should know that you don’t need me. You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Deep down you know what you have to do, so just listen to your instincts.”
“But that’s the thing Grams, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do”
“Just trust your instincts.”
My attention was diverted by an unexpected knock on the door. I quickly looked back into the mirror hoping to see my Grams again but she was gone just as suddenly as she had come.
Meredith popped her head into the hallway. She was closer to the front door than I was,
“Get that won’t you love, I’m a little tied up here.”
I looked away from her, and back into the mirror. I was sat on the floor with my dress sprawled around me. My face was wet and my eyes were the same shade of pink as my dress.
“I ask you to do me one small favour…” Meredith ranted on her way to the door, large glass of wine in hand.
My eyes were still teary when Gideon came into the room. He knelt down to my level and pushed my dress aside. He took hold of my chin and raised my face so I was looking into his eyes. This was the first time I ever seemed to connect with him on more than just a superficial level.
“You can have a different dress,” he laughed, “you needn’t upset yourself over it.”
I laughed with him, weakly. He always had been sweet and funny and able to cheer me up. I had tried so hard to love him as more than a friend but I just couldn’t.
“It’s not the dress,” I told him, “well, I mean – this dress is something isn’t it?”
“Whatever is bothering you, I’m sure we can fix it.”
“Not this time.”
“You want to go for a walk or something?” he said.
Once I changed out of my dress we went for that walk he suggested. We had walked for about three miles before I spoke. He was, as always, patient with me, waiting until I wanted to speak to him.
“I’ve been thinking about Grams and, it’s just…I miss her so much. I just wish that I could see her more.” I told him.
“See her more?” he pried, with a strange tone to his voice that I wasn’t expecting.
“Yeah, before you came, I had seen her. At least, I think I did. It just doesn’t feel real.”
“Wait, you seen Eudora? You saying that you have actually seen your grandmother?” He asked.
“Yes.” I said.
“You know that’s impossible don’t you?” He stopped me and held my arms tightly, “Ethelda, you’re grams is dead.”
“I know that.” Or do I, I thought to myself. I never did see her dead body. No, I’m being crazy. Of course she’s dead, isn’t she?
Neither of us dared to speak another word the entire way home. I had no idea why Gideon seemed so awkward after our conversation. It seemed to shake him somehow.
I decided to keep my suspicions to myself. Maybe I was being crazy; it’s a ridiculous idea that everyone could be involved in one big conspiracy. But then, what if I was on to something? What if Grams wasn’t dead after all?
Meredith’s friends were gone by the time we got back. She was in the middle of making dinner for us.
“Let me help you with that Meredith,” Gideon offered. “Why don’t you go set the table,” he told me, “ your mum and I will do the rest.”
Gideon had never been this way before. Usually he didn’t want to be in a room on his own with Meredith but now he couldn’t wait to get me out of his way.
I pulled the kitchen door to. I walked a short way down the hall. Far enough to not be seen but close enough that I could still hear them. They deliberately spoke in hushed whispers, what were they keeping from me?
“We need to talk, ” Gideon said seriously. “She’s been talking about Eudora, she says that she’s seen her.”
“Well, that’s just impossible,” said Meredith.
“She thinks she seen her ghost in the mirror, earlier today.” He told her.
So I suppose I am going crazy and now everyone will know about it. It was a ridiculous idea, my Grams is dead. I know that. I wish, maybe I shouldn’t have told Gideon. My mind must have been playing tricks on me.
“There is no such thing as ghost appearing in mirrors.” She said. “There is no such thing,” she repeated slowly, “how…how did she slip by me?” Her voice became panicked making me more confused. “How dare she, when the Elders find out…Does Ethelda suspect? Gideon, does Ethelda know Eudora is alive?”
I gasped more loudly than I knew I should. I managed to shuffle into the living room before Gideon popped his head out of the door. That was close, I thought before my mind began to spin in revelation.
The truth was out but I felt no better than before. In fact, I think I felt worse knowing because of what it meant. My Grams is alive, which means I’m not crazy. But it also means that all this time, everyone has been lying. It’s the one big ridiculous conspiracy I had imagined in my head.
I left the house through the backdoor. I knew they wouldn’t notice my absence straight away, that I’d be able to cover enough distance to stop them following. I walked – fast, and I didn’t stop for miles. I had no idea where I was. I recognised none of my surroundings. I walked until I ran out of road and then I took shelter in the woods.
My heart raced as it tried to recuperate from my walking. I was glad that I didn’t know where I was. I wanted to be lost - to never be found. Everything I knew was a lie; everyone I knew was a liar. I had no idea what was real anymore and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know.
I heard footsteps on the ground behind me. He spoke before I looked up,
“Young girl. Alone in the woods. Practically begging to be attacked.”
I swallowed hard trying to dislodge the lump that had set in my throat. His voice alone told me everything. His scent, though sour, drew me in. It was warm and salty and smelt like iron. Even his presence captured me and made me feel safe; it was all so intoxicating. I knew that fear would do no good if the vampire wanted to kill me then I had no defence.
“Casius you caught us a snack?” Another Vampire joined him. This one was bigger. “She smells so appetizing.”
“Step back, Blake. This one’s mine.” Casius said.
“Wait…” said Blake. “Casius, this one’s not entirely human.”
Casius stopped just inches in front of me as my body concreted itself to the ground. I tried to think of reasons to live, of things I would be leaving behind if I died. But then I considered that maybe things are clearer in heaven. That maybe it’s easier to die.
“Who sent you?” Casius demanded.
I had no idea what he was talking about and I knew he wanted an answer. My body shivered in the cold as I searched desperately for a way to escape.
“Leave us,” he said to Blake who was reluctant. “Now.”
He turned back to me, his eyes callous. As he thrust me up by the neck it was hard to breathe.
“Who sent you, witch? Who sent you?”
“No one. I got lost.”
“If you’re lying…” he set me back down on the ground and walked around me, brushing my hair from my neck. “Well if no one sent you I’m sure no one will miss you either.”
“Please…don’t,” I begged. “Don’t kill me.”
“I’m quite the fan of begging prey. Makes it that touch more satisfying. Tell me, you afraid of dying?”
“No.” I told him truthfully. “I’m afraid of living. Dying is the easy part, the easy way out.”
“Then why chose life?” he sniffed my neck and my spine shivered.
“Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to. Sacrifice something to save someone else. I can’t save no one if I’m dead.”
“You think you’re some kind of hero?” he laughed.
“No. I’m just a girl. Just a girl who wants people to know the truth, to see things for what they really are.”
“Who exactly are you trying to save?”
“Everyone. No one is safe from the Elders. People need to know the truth. To see through the lies and deceit that they’re spinning. I think they’re hiding more than even I know.” He stopped and I sensed that he too was suspicious of the Elders, who had never been kind to his species.
“I won’t fight you. I don’t have the strength that you do. I know I can’t win. So if you’re going to kill me then do it.”
“It’s no fun without a fight.” He said.
I had been sure that I would have to fight if I wanted to live. I thought maybe my number was up, that this was my time to die. Any vampire would take an easy kill; even if they do enjoy the chase they enjoy the taste even more. He stepped away from me and I braced myself for his attack – but it didn’t come.
“Leave.” He demanded. “Leave now, and don’t come back this way. I won’t let you walk away so easy next time.”
I walked away from him glancing back one last time to where he stood but he had disappeared.
“Thank you” I whispered hoping that he somehow heard me.
and you could probably find them yourself) 