Just Another Day

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Here we go again Crystal Exclaimed while glancing over at the clock on her night stand .Taking a deep breath, she stared up at the ceiling only to be looking back at herself ,uhh I hate that thing, she was determined to make Daniel take it down one day. she didn’t know what she was thinking agreeing to let him put it up there in the first place. Easy herself upon one of her overlarge pillows, she search for the remote control thought her cluttered bed of cover, book and paperwork from the night before that was no were near being done , finally able locate it in under the pillow she was sleeping on the night before . Why didn’t I look there first, turning on the TV she scan through the channel ,till she found the fox 8 new, hoping she could catch a gleam of Mr. barker before it was time for her to get ready to pick up Deion from the airport.
Hmmm mmm.mmm . Seeing him stand there in his Joseph & Feiss Navy trio Suit,Was all she needed to send her mind sparing in to another demetion If only I could….. detecting the sound of her ring tone from her blackberry playing nicki minaj baddest bitch pulled her forces away from her next statement. letting out an impatient sigh she grab her phone off the night stand taking a quick glance at the name on the screen she press the answer button.
Hello . Your up!!! Laughing at the sound of imani voice which seem to go up a ocia. yea im up, what up.
You want believe what I saw last night.
Usually she would be in the mood for one of Imani
rampage story but not this morning not this early. Rolling her eyes she flop back on her pillow. Tell me why Deiondre man was caught coming out of Kourtney house last night at exactly 11:05 . Huh ? I know girl, I could not believe it either, they seem like the prefect couple, but there he was just like Jayla had said he would be. wait ,wait yall was spaying on him ,why. First of all wasting no body spay on him , I was over there to Pick up Chris from him mama house ,to take him to his sister house to get his hair done and to try pick me up a mary Jane while I was over there OK .I don’t know why you still messing with that boy. see there you go again , ant nobody messing with no body ,I am a happily married women. imani just love to throw that up in people face, I don’t need to mess around , my man give me plenty . So don’t worry about it. trust me I ant , that your ass on the line not mine. you know if Jelani find out you still smoking and hang with them ghetto ass people you call your so called friends He’ll .. He ant go do shit. Right…. What every you say. Hold on im getting a beep. Mmmm .Speaking of the devil , let me call you back . Bye girl bye,
Last edited by Binkyboo4 on Mon Mar 22, 2010 1:32 am, edited 1 time in total.




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OK, there are A LOT OF GRAMMAR ERRORS HERE!!!!!! GO through and fix them, and then I'll tell you how the story is. I don't mean to be rude, I'm just trying to help. Please PM me when you fix them. I'd really like to read this story then. If you have any questions, just ask me. Thanks!

~Ktg17~
Even if you see in black and white, think in color...




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Hello I am going to review this

Here we go again Crystal said (said is a boring word, try using something different, to balance out your vocabulary, if you are struggling with this type into google synonyms of said) while (should be whilst)glancing over at the clock on here (should be her not here) night stand that read 8:05am.Taking a deep breath, she started up at the ceiling only to be looking back at herself ,uh I hate that thing, crystal (Crystal not crystal) was determined to make Daniel take that thing down one day. she (She not she) didn’t know what she was thinking Agreeing (agreeing not Agreeing) to let him put that dame (damn not dame) thing up there in the first place. Easy herself upon one of her overlarge pillows, she search for the remote control thought the bed full of cover, book and paperwork form the night before , finally locate it in under the pillow she was sleeping on the night before . Why didn’t I look there first, turning on the TV she scan through the channel ,till she found the fox 8 new, hoping she could catch a gleam of Mr. barker before it was time for her to get ready to pick up Deion from the airport.

Right well I noticed a lot of mistakes which i have put in brackets, I know i haven't finished, but I think you need to look this over and check your mistakes, before publishing this, I think you have a good base, which you need to work around :)

Once you have sorted this out Pm me I am interested to see what changes you will make :)
I wrote your name in the sand and the sea washed it away! I wrote your name in my heart and there it will stay.




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Ktg17 wrote:OK, there are A LOT OF GRAMMAR ERRORS HERE!!!!!! GO through and fix them, and then I'll tell you how the story is. I don't mean to be rude, I'm just trying to help. Please PM me when you fix them. I'd really like to read this story then. If you have any questions, just ask me. Thanks!

~Ktg17~

Hey
Thank for reading my story or at least trying to. sorry for all the mess spell words,i when through and tryed to fix all the ones i saw.if you see any please feel free to tell me, that's the reason I'm on here,to get help and give it if i can.




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defendthelegend wrote:Hello I am going to review this

Here we go again Crystal said (said is a boring word, try using something different, to balance out your vocabulary, if you are struggling with this type into google synonyms of said) while (should be whilst)glancing over at the clock on here (should be her not here) night stand that read 8:05am.Taking a deep breath, she started up at the ceiling only to be looking back at herself ,uh I hate that thing, crystal (Crystal not crystal) was determined to make Daniel take that thing down one day. she (She not she) didn’t know what she was thinking Agreeing (agreeing not Agreeing) to let him put that dame (damn not dame) thing up there in the first place. Easy herself upon one of her overlarge pillows, she search for the remote control thought the bed full of cover, book and paperwork form the night before , finally locate it in under the pillow she was sleeping on the night before . Why didn’t I look there first, turning on the TV she scan through the channel ,till she found the fox 8 new, hoping she could catch a gleam of Mr. barker before it was time for her to get ready to pick up Deion from the airport.

Right well I noticed a lot of mistakes which i have put in brackets, I know i haven't finished, but I think you need to look this over and check your mistakes, before publishing this, I think you have a good base, which you need to work around :)

Once you have sorted this out Pm me I am interested to see what changes you will make :)




WOW Thanks for going through and reviewing my story and help correcting most of all the miss spell words.that really help me a lot .the site you gave me was just what i needed , i put it in my favorites , it give you a lot of other words to pick from . i re wort the story, hope you like it. i change alot of the words around to.so hopefully it is will make it sound alot better



oh to be a cat in a pile of towels
— ChesTacos