Memories

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This could either be song lyrics or a poem. Tell me what you think. Also, this was written in memory of my Nan.
Memories.
I touched a fragment of your memory
I felt you drift near me & I couldn’t move
I could hear your love, a sweet, enchanting melody
A fragment of your memory

I want to tell you to stay near me
But I can’t speak the words
So I touched a fragment of your memory
And suddenly, you were there, beside me

You were whispering words to me
Of your love and your memories
I smiled and closed my eyes
I felt you near me

But I still couldn’t speak those words
I could feel your radiance, a light shining in the darkness
And I knew that you would never leave me
Because you were already there, beside me

So I touched that fragment of your memory
Felt you there, beside me
That sweet, enchanting melody
Forever a fragment of your memory
"With friends like you, who needs a medical license?"
- Paimon, Aether's Heart


“It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission.”
- Grace Hopper.




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Hey, Scar or Red! (I hope I'm right) I really liked this poem especially the softness of the narrative, for once I just couldn't find a parallel between between the poem I read and a poet I love (it's very individualistic). I also liked how you repeated 'fragment of your memory' it gave the work a sort of wholesomeness. The only real criticism I can give is that the thread of thought towards the end seems a little jumbled. Though I still love it.

Hope to hear from you soon :D
David
I saw pale kings, and princes too,
Pale warriors, death pale were they all;
They cry'd - 'La belle Dame sans merci
Hath thee in thrall!'
-John Keats




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Gender Female
Points 8000
Reviews 212
Thank you. Sometimes I'm nearly in tears or actually crying when I read this. Yeah, it is a little jumbled and it's meant to be... And sometimes my poetry is jumbled and such, it's mainly on purpose though. Thanks again, for the review. I wasn't expecting any.

~Scarlett.
"With friends like you, who needs a medical license?"
- Paimon, Aether's Heart


“It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission.”
- Grace Hopper.




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Gender Female
Points 11486
Reviews 25
I Love you poem very much! It is very creative and inspiring! I like your choice of wording, its unlike many others and i love it! You have loads of talent keep on writing!

and please check out and review my Romantic Fiction story, a new home a new love. I would greatly appreciate it!
Be yourself
And no one else
dance to the beat
and loose control
Never forget who you are
Be an unforgettable shining star*




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Gender Female
Points 8000
Reviews 212
Thank you. I'm glad you like it. And maybe I'll review... I don't review often, but I'm definitely checking it out.

Thanks for reviewing.

~Scarlett.
"With friends like you, who needs a medical license?"
- Paimon, Aether's Heart


“It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission.”
- Grace Hopper.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 14918
Reviews 384
Wow! Really good! I might seperate where you placed a comma in the middle of the lines into two seperate lines, but that's just me!
It flowed so well!!
I loved it! You have a gift!
Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurl.

got trans?



Poetry is my cheap means of transportation. By the end of the poem the reader should be in a different place from where he started. I would like him to be slightly disoriented at the end, like I drove him outside of town at night and dropped him off in a cornfield.
— Billy Collins