This was written last summer maybe?
“How are you then Alana?” Maddy questioned me. She had probably noticed how sad and down I was. But the truth is I couldn’t get the truth out to her. So I told her I was fine and that my family was great to and how my mum had got promoted last week. She then left to get her things together. You see we were all going on a school trip together.
I had been looking forward to this day for ages. It will really be the best day of my life. I’ll get the chance to do everything I want to do for a change. I can be free relaxed and most importantly have fun.
I hate all this pretending on how my life is perfect on having a great dad and mum and fun sisters. My life in fact is nowhere near perfect and at this rate will never be.
I don’t know what it is or what it means to have fun. I can’t really remember how it feels. The last time I had fun was about 2 years ago. I never get time to myself. My times always spent with my sisters or when their busy I have to clean the house. No one thanks me. There’s no one ever there for me. I’m always alone not loved. My sisters don’t know what love is they just know that I will always be there for them.
They are always trying to make things difficult. Telling of me to mum. I wish I had a mum and dad that actually cared. Sisters that didn’t take me for granted, a lovely home which is actually big enough for the four of us, time to me. But most of all I wish I didn’t have to lie about everything. It just makes me feel worse in side. Especially at school, where I’m known as the girl with a perfect life. This is all down to my lies. My life is at its end, it’s no where near perfect.
While I’m at home cleaning and looking after my sisters, my mothers at the pub spending all her money, my money on cigarettes and drinks, I’m the only one with a job round here, a Saturday job newspaper girl and I work at our corner shop. Well dad, I don’t have a dad, he left us last year. We have never heard from him since, we live on the estate, but we are in lots of trouble, mum owes a lot of debt. But some how she expects me to handle them. But I am forced to give all my earnings to her, which she spends on her drinks.
She slaps me when we have no food, for she expects me to magically appear with food and money, and we’ll be ok. I get beatings when bill come through, this isn’t my job, I shouldn’t be doing this, why can’t we be normal. For once in my lifetime why can’t I lead a normal life?
