My Heart, Your Hands(W/T)

Alright, I was listening to song and this is what came out of it. The song was creepy and I felt inspired... So, here is the end result. Feel free to offer suggestions. Crit is welcome. The title is only a working title, so bare with me for now as it may change. Enjoy!


Prologue: Dream.

“Isidora,” he called. I knew it was him. I wanted to leave the castle but I couldn’t... I wanted to run.... But he wouldn’t let me.

I turned down another corridor and heard his voice ring out somewhere in front of me.

“Isidora, you know I don’t like you running from me.”

I opened the nearest door and rushed through it, pulled my skirt in and closed it gently just as I heard him turn into the corridor and walk past my hiding place.

I held my breath as he paused on the other side of the door.

“Isidora,” he said and I tried not to reply. There was nothing for a moment and then he started walking again.

I let out a relieved sigh and cracked open the door. He was gone—for now.

I slipped out of the room and took off down the corridor in the opposite direction to him.

I turn the corner and find it empty. Thank god he’s not following me or appearing out of thin air.

He liked to do that, liked to scare me. Vincent was one for torture. He was sadistic and cruel... But I loved him for it.... Wait. Where did that come from?

I turned another corner and came to a stop in front of a pair of huge double doors. They were black and hard strange things carved into them, and I saw that they were really thick when I pushed one open and snuck into the room.

I pushed the door shut and turned around. There he was, standing in front of the fireplace across from me.

God, how did he move so fast?

“I knew you would come here,” he whispered and the words seemed to slither across the room.

It was dark and I couldn’t see him properly, but I knew he was watching me, was half-turned towards me.

He was turned around and stepped away from the fire, coming towards me. I was frozen, I couldn’t move. I could only watch as he came closer to me, until he was right in front of me.

“Isidora,” he breathed, capturing in me in his arms and pulling me into him. “You always end up back here, why don’t you realise that?”

I didn’t answer as I buried my face in his shirt. Why was I acting like this? Why was I so confused? What...what had we been fighting about again? Why had I been running from him in the first place?

“Oh, Isidora,” he murmured and pulled my head back. I could see his face now. Those cold grey eyes, the pitch black hair, the murderous look on his face and the intent in those stormy eyes.

I gasped and tried to pull away but he held me in place.

“One last time, Isidora?” he asked and I saw the glimpse of fangs in his mouth. “One last time?”

“No,” I whispered but it was too late. His head was coming down and his intent was clear.

He was going to kill me, and he was going to kill me now. I had shared his bed and he had taken my blood. I was going to die.

“My heart,” he whispered and kissed my neck, “Is in your hands.”

And then he bit down, hard—hard enough to make me scream.

I felt him draw the life out of me, my body feeling weaker by the second....and then he stopped and pulled away.

“Isidora,” he said. “I curse you to live this life over and over again until I finally die.”

And then there was nothing but blackness closing over me.

I shot upright in bed. What the hell... I relaxed and sighed; it was only that stupid dream again. I lay down and rolled onto my side, closing my eyes after checking the time.

A second later and my eyes shot open. The clock said 8:09 AM. Damn it! I was late for school again! These stupid dreams.... I shot out of bed and hastily got dressed before racing out my bedroom door.

It was just my luck that I’d sleep in yet again, wasn’t it?

* * *

Hiya!
As this is a short story and a good one on top of that, I shamefully do not have much to say.

While I was reading I came across one mistake, but it's nothing horrible ^^

“No,” I whispered but it was too late. He(Should be His ) head was coming down and his intent was clear.

Even though I wasn't really pulled in while reading, I just simply imagined what words meant and felt what I thought I should feel. Didn't feel like there are too many adjectives, yet it didn't feel like there's not much of them either. So simply the way it's written is great =)
I especially liked the ending, left me wondering if I shall think her being the vampire ( or that's the creature I suppose ) or it was just her dream as she thought. The first possibility is more interesting though >=)

Definitely keep writing! =)
Kyousuke

I liked this. It vas (joke intended) very interesting. Dream sequences are cliche, but yours works well. One thing you could try is to make the dream more surreal. It reads very much like a real happening. Don't make it completely zany, but try to add a few things to suggest it's a dream.

You do a good job with emotion and pacing. Grammar was good too, just remember that it's "fireplace" and not "fire place". You could stand to do some more description though.

I just hope this doesn't turn into another Twilight clone. Overall though, great work!

I really liked this prologue. I'm looking forward to read more of your story : )

Thank you for the reviews guys. Oh lord, no. This is definitely not a Twilight clone. I'll see to those mistake soon and it's meant to seem real because it really happened... Though not in Isidora's current life.

Anyways, thanks again. I'll think of something to write soon and post it...eventually.

That was really good, and yeah, like it was mentioned, dream scenes are usually very cliche. But you managed to pull it off, haha. It was a bit too realistic, make it a bit, I dunno, dream-like. Lol, it doesn't seem like Twilight at all, so don't worry. The title was also really awesome, it matched with it perfectly, perhaps not with everything in the prologue, but with a few things, it really did. Good work!

Thanks. As I said, the title is only a working title and the dream is meant to seem real because it actually happened, though not in the character's current life.

Anyways, I shall go fix those mistakes now.