A Leaf Forgotten -a fragment-

A Leaf Forgotten
-a fragment for Robert-

A building rises out of the concrete, trees sprouting upwards at the corners. Under the shroud of Night, lamp light from the street are lighthouse beacons to the street-pilgrims. Blinding dots in the darkened landscape. A couple passes under the solemn remnants of mother earth, a leaf flutters and lands perfectly, making a nest in one's hair. The taller of the two reaches up and plucks the straying leaf from his companion's hair. The other frowns having like the proximity, the caress of nature albeit of a dying kind. So the theif presses forward against his companion's lips as if it's the next best thing. He accepts the wet apology and takes the limp leaf betwixt his fingers and twirls it.

This town is growing old,
Not a green shade to be seen.
Has nature abandoned us [to our devices]
In our effort to be clean?

Another soft kiss and the couple breaks, continuing on their way. And the leaf forgotten slips from warmth to banality.

"proxcimity" is spelled wrong. There's no 'c.'

I really liked this. It's a really good snapshot of all the feelings, emotions, and imagery that takes place in what probably is only ten seconds of time. Sometimes I like this type of literature the best since it makes a segment of time eternal. Pictures can do the same, but pictures fade and whither away. Words last forever.

Well done!

thankies Brian!

CL

Aw, for me?

Heh.

Great piece: "theif" needs respelling

I can't spell and type at the same time, so yeah.

YAY presents for everyone, or those named Robert or Bob....teheehee...

I love the word 'street-pilgrims' - beautiful
I found reading this quite sad and perhaps a little uncomfortable - there seems to be a subtle underlying conflict hidden in there - I like it!
However, I found that identifying which character is doing which was a little difficult, and so distracted from the emotions.

thank you ikklebeastie, teehehe I like your name. You last line I have been trying to figure out for some minutes now, are you trying to say that you found identifying with my character difficult and thus distracted from all the emotions of the piece? please do tell. Thanks again hon.

CL

Sorry, I meant just meant that distinguishing between which person was doing the action was a bit hard - or I found it hard! This is probably because they don't have names I suppose
edited to clarify further - it did distract from the emotions because I had to pull back and think, rather than just go with the flow.

hm....interesting...