Rated 12 + for fantasy, violence, and mild language.
Dreams drifted in and out of Anna’s unconscious mind. Every time she thought the dream was ending and she’d finally wake up, she only fell into another one. Each dream was fuzzy, unreal, as if it was fighting not to show her the truth that lied behind each image. She was too weak to fight back, so she simply lay there, letting the unfocused images pass through her mind.
It was a long time before a visible dream began to form. She at first wondered why it wasn’t blurred, but within moments realized that it wasn’t a dream, but rather a memory. She knew before the dream even started what day it was and what would happen, but she kept quiet, watching it as it played like a movie behind her eyes.
She saw her own form lying in her room. The sun was just barely rising, and it shined orange through a small window above her rickety bed and cast shadows on all the objects. Her room, for the most part, was bare. She had her quilted bed with a small chest beside it, then sitting a little off to the side, a white drawer with useless knick-knacks and childhood toys on it. One would think she’d keep that childish stuff in her chest, but in reality, her chest was full of her most valuable items in the world.
The room, as well as the house, was entirely wooden. The floors creaked when even when you stepped on them as soft as possible, and other than the white drawer, the colors on the quilt, and the brass handle on the door, the room was completely brown. Even the chest was woven out of light brown rope.
The handle of her door turned, and slowly, it swung open. A small blonde head peered into the room, and stared around with big green eyes. The tiny child slowly walked in, and looking around carefully, he tried to make as little noise as possible on the squeaking boards.
The toddler stumbled straight up to the chest and hoisted himself on top of it. From the height of the chest, he was able to pull himself onto Anna’s bed.
He hesitated for just a moment before approaching Anna. Then, smiling to himself, he pounced on his sister.
A second of silence.
Anna suddenly let out a scream and jumped. The boy retreated, his face turning white with fear. Anna threw the covers off her head, terror painted on her face, but when she saw that it was only a child her alarm turned to sheer anger. “Marcus, get out!”
The boy, pale and terrified, stepped back and onto Anna’s treasure chest. She went wild.
“Get off my chest! Marcus, get out! What do you think you’re doing in here?”
Tears filled the boy’s beautiful eyes. “Mommy!”
“Marcus!” Anna’s screaming voice had nearly woken the entire house by now. “Get out of my room!”
A slim figure appeared in the doorway. Her long, golden hair touched her small waist, and her blue eyes peered around questioningly. “What’s going on in here?”
“Marcus is in my room again!” Anna screamed over Marcus’ sobs. “He’s so annoying!”
The question on the girl’s face quickly turned to irritation. “God, Anna, can you be anymore heartless?” She walked over and picked the small boy up. “He’s only a toddler!”
“I don’t care if he’s two months old! It’s not that hard to stay out of my room!” She glared at Marcus as he buried his face into the girl’s shoulder, shaking with sobs. “And will you please make him stop crying so loud? He acts like such a baby!”
“That’s because he is a baby!” Scowling at her, the girl turned and walked away with the child, slamming the door behind her.
“Good morning to you too!” Anna yelled at the door sharply, and then flopped back on her bed, breathing heavily with anger.
In a matter of a few minutes, Anna had considerably calmed down. She sighed, staring at the ceiling. A small part of her was guilty for her outburst, but overall, her pride and dominating hatred of the world was what would keep her from apologizing.
Rising slowly from her bed, Anna went over to her drawers and found her nurse’s outfit. She glowered at the simple pale blue dress, and almost as if it was a bother, slowly put it on.
If Anna had to pick out of all the things she hated which she hated most, she’d say without a moment’s hesitation that it was being a nurse. No, she didn’t feel faint at the sight of blood—yes, the science concept came very easily to her. It was just that she had never wanted to be a nurse. She had never really thought about what she wanted to be when she grew up, because ever since she could remember she was to be a nurse. Her father had her entire life mapped out for her. When she was five, it was fine. But by the time she was thirteen, she was independent, strong, and wishing that she could choose her own path.
Anna hesitated as she buttoned up her buttons at that thought. By the time she was thirteen . . . So much had happened between her childhood and her teenage years! She could see her younger, happier self in mind’s eye. She was such a sweet, kind-loving person when she was younger. She had a fantastic personality that people adored her for. But by the time she was thirteen, she had been exposed to so much of the ways of the world that she had grown hard and despondent.
When Anna was finished buttoning her nurse’s dress, she pulled a hair tie off of her white drawer and tied her hair up, so she’d be at least slightly presentable for breakfast. Smoothing her hair back into order as Anna walked out of the room, she wished she had a mirror so at least she’d have a hint of knowing how she looked.
Anna walked down the stairs almost groggily, peering around the wall before walking into the kitchen. Her older sister was still holding Marcus, using a rag to wipe his tears away and consoling him with humming words. A tall tan man walked into the room by the door opposite of the one Anna was standing by, and upon seeing the girl standing there, he grinned. “Good morning, angel,” he sang-songed so suddenly she started.
“Oh, Raf!” She turned and gave him peck on the cheek. “How are you?”
“Wonderful.” He smiled, pulling her closer. “How are you?”
Anna was already starting to feel sick with the sappiness of the repartee, so she barged in so they would avoid a romantic conversation.
Anna’s old sister and her husband had moved in with her and her mother about a year ago, when her mother confessed to her that she just didn’t know what she was going to do after the divorce of her most recent husband, with whom she had had Marcus. She said she could no longer support two children, for she was fifty, and it was hard to find a job at that age. All the employers those days were looking for young, healthy, bright children who would last them many years, and that was just something Anna’s mother didn’t have.
Upon seeing Anna’s entry, Raf’s eyes dimmed a little. “Oh. Good morning, Anna.”
She gave a tight-lipped nod to assure him that she didn’t like him any more than he liked her. Celine gave both of them a hot look.
“Okay, Marcus,” she said, directing the attention away from them, “why don’t we go get breakfast?”
Marcus looked up into her eyes. “Eggs!”
“Yes, we’ll have eggs for breakfast. You go outside to see to the hens, alright?” The toddler nodded, and as he went towards the door, Celine turned to Raf and whispered quickly, “Tell Anna. Be nice. Okay?”
He looked down, avoiding her eyes. She grabbed his chin, tilting it until he finally stared into her eyes. Celine raised her eyebrows in warning as she waited for his answer.
He sighed. “Yes, alright.”
Celine released him, still giving him a threatening glance as she walked out the door with Marcus. Raf hesitated, then gestured to a seat at the circular wooden table and then took the one directly across from it. Anna's entire body slouched in a heavy groan, but she still obeyed. Dragging her feet on the floor, she ploped in the chair and leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms and giving him a cold stare.
“Well. What is it?”
Raf cleared his throat, uneased at the gruffness of her voice against his ears. “Um . . . well . . . good morning, Anna. How did you sleep?”
Anna tilted forward, resting her elbows on the table. “Look, I know you didn’t sit me down to ask me how I slept, so let’s just cut to the chase. What do you want?”
He nodded, apparently fighting something that was rising in his throat. Anna allowed a smile to pass across her face at his difficulty. “As you know, today is your father’s birthday.”
“Is it?” Oh, so it's not serious. But with Raf, when is it ever?
Raf looked down, took a deep breath, and tried again. “Yes, it is. And, as you know, your father is a very kind man.”
Anna laughed. She couldn't help it; it flew out of her mouth with surprising intensity, so much so that Raf gave her a sideways look.
It wasn’t the response he was looking for, so again he had to recollect his thoughts. “Anyway. Your father has been kind enough to spend his birthday dinner with his family.”
“Well, good for them.” Anna pushed back her chair as if to leave. “Is that it?”
“Anna, I was talking about us. Your father is coming here for his birthday dinner.”
Anna could feel the color fall right out of her face, as if an artist had mad a mistake and was trying to aid it by erasing it altogether. She could hardly hear her own voice as the words spilled out of her mouth, “He’s coming . . . where?”
Raf nodded gently, all the problems he had been having with words disappearing like mist in the air. “I know this is a little shocking to you,” he went on easily, “but your mother is a bit sick today and would rather I tell you. I’m sorry we didn’t say anything sooner. It was really a last minute thing.”
Anna redrew her strength. “Why would he come here for his birthday dinner? Why would he want to be here with us?”
“Well, he just wanted to check up on things. He wanted to see how you and your sister were going on with being nurses.”
Raf continued to talk, but Anna zoned him out, thinking over his words. ‘Check up on things.’ That made perfect sense. Her father always had to be in charge, always had to know what was going on. When she said she didn’t want to take science he got a private tutor to come in every day at the same exact time and teach her so she could get her nursing degree. When she said she didn’t want to go to work he personally walked her there and made friends with all the doctors in her clinic so that he’d always know what she was up to. And now that he had been gone for two years, he was coming back to reevaluate.
Anna was furious with her mother for allowing him to come, especially after all he had done. Not only that, but her mother knew she hated him, and she still allowed him to come, as if it were no big deal. Mom’s not sick, not in the least. She’s just too much of a coward to confront her own daughter. I can’t believe her.
Anna slowly tuned back into Raf’s words. “ . . . and he wanted to see your mother again.”
“Why?” she asked sharply, glowering at him. “He was the one who left.”
Raf paused. “I’m very sorry about your father’s leaving, but I don’t think you understand—”
“No, I understand,” Anna cut in. “You don’t understand. You barge into my family, my home, acting as if you know everything just because you married my sister.” Anna stood up, backing away from the table. “You're not my surrogate father, and you're neither of my brothers. Why on earth do you think I’d like you?”
Raf fumbled with the cuffs on his sleeves silently, as if not wanting to get into an argument. For some reason that infurated her more than a harsh response, and as she felt her lungs constrict, she ran outside the kitchen and to the front door, pushing it open and nearly running over Celine and Marcus as they balanced eggs in their small woven basket. When Celine tried to talk to Anna, Anna shouted and ran off, and Celine rushed inside using harsh tones of questioning to her beloved husband.
It was a muggy summer day, and Anna stood around, only slightly enjoying the serene beauty of the morning. The sunlight was shining the opposite way, but she could see the magnificent shadows it left on all the trees. Right in front of her was a large oak tree she had enjoyed and played on when she was little. She remembered many summer days spent underneath that tree, staring at the shimmering lake and the yard behind it.
She could hear the hens clucking and turned her head slightly to see the hen pen. As she walked over to them they all ran up to the fence separating them, hoping for some food.
Hens were the only animals they had at their house. They didn’t have a farm, but since the nearest town was more than fifteen miles away and money was quite scarce, they tried to live off of the eggs and vegetables they grew. Anna walked around the coop to find the garden, weeded and watered, just like it was every morning. If there was one thing her mother was good at, it was gardening. Ever since Anna was little she could remember her mother out everyday, in rain or shine, tending to her precious plants. It had seemed so natural to be a gardener that Anna had thought she would have to be one when she grew up, so she spent as much time as possible on her hands and knees in the wet soil. She smiled slightly, thinking of her younger self. So sweet. So innocent.
With that memory of her childhood brought more unwelcome memories that she quickly tried to cloud out. Her childhood had been perfect until she was five years old, but after that, it was only pain and misfortune, and though those memories made her who she was, it wasn’t something she enjoyed to reflect.
Though she tried to ignore them, images of her childhood struggles flashed across her mind. She saw the fire devouring her treasures when she was younger, and could still feel the heat of the fire and tears on her face. She felt hard rope burning into her skin, felt her struggle in the searing hot rain, saw the lightning bolt flash much too close for comfort near the tree which she was confined to. She felt the strong hands of the older girls throw her against the walls, laughing at her pain. When she cried they had only teased, “Oh, lighten up, Anna. It’s just a joke!” Just a joke. Their ‘jokes’ almost got her killed each and every time.
Anna heard someone calling her name, but didn’t really break away from her thoughts until small, warm hands shook her. She nearly jumped out of her skin, giving the concerned Celine a piercing look. “What?” she spat.
“Breakfast is ready,” Celine softly replied, slowly releasing her sister. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Roughly pushing past her sister, Anna tried to mask her embarrassment for being caught in the middle of her winding thoughts as anger. It worked, just like it always did, and her sister sighed heavily as she followed Anna inside.
Breakfast wasn’t very notable. Raf, Marcus, Celine, and Anna all ate their eggs and some tomatoes Anna’s mom had picked the night before in silence, and when they were done they all got ready for their days. Anna’s mother didn’t show up before Anna left, but she couldn’t mind less.
After running a brush through her hair and chewing on some mint, Celine and Anna embarked on their trip to work. Raf gave Celine a quick peck on the cheek, and Anna teased her by pretending to gag, but her sister wasn’t so amused and gave her a dirty look, refusing to open the door for Anna, to which childish act Anna only rolled her eyes. The two walked out of the comfort of their home and wandered aimlessly around the green meadows until a dirt road appeared. Silently, they followed it, with Anna in the lead as usual.
The walk was excruciating. Anna’s shift started around lunch time, but they had to leave in the morning in order to make it in time, for the miles took much longer on foot. Anna always complained about how they had to walk to work, and the heat and humidity of the day made it worse.
“Mom should really stop being so picky and just buy a horse already,” she grumbled. “We make more then enough pay to buy one, especially without spending money on food.”
“And you should really stop complaining.” Celine spoke smoothly. “Complaining isn’t going to get us there any faster and it isn’t going to silence the heat of the day, so I’d just quit it if I were you.”
Anna sulked in silence for a few moments, but then realized that talking kept her mind off the heat and the already aching pain in her feet. “So, you knew Father was coming, didn’t you?”
Silence danced in the stiff air for a moment. “Yes.”
“For how long?”
Again, there was a pause, as if Celine had to consider each answer carefully. “A while.”
“How long’s a while? A few days, weeks, maybe?”
“Two days.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I knew you’d overreact.”
“So you send your husband to do it? Real charming, Celine. You don’t want to do the dirty work, so you make someone who’s obligated to you do it.”
“Hey!” Celine exclaimed. “Technically, neither one of us had to tell you. It was Mother’s secret to tell.”
“Secret? Are you all purposely hiding things from me?”
“No, we’re not. We just didn’t know how you’d react to Father’s coming home, is all.” She put a sweet, comforting hand on her sister’s shoulder. “We want what will make you happy.”
“What makes me happy?” Anna scoffed, pulling out of her sister’s grasp. “I’d be happy if Father was dead.”
“Anna!” Celine walked behind her little sister with a heavy ‘what-are-we-ever-going-to-do-with-this-child?’ sigh.
No more words were exchanged between them, for there was nothing left to say. They walked up the winding, twisting dirt path they knew so well, letting nothing but the sounds of summer crickets and their own feet kicking up dirt and stones distract them. A few times they came across houses, but they were all abandoned and sinking into the dirt, as if the years had been bad to them. Occasionally, when Celine was too sick to go to work in fear of endangering patients and Anna had to walk alone, she would stop and stare at the interesting old houses, questioning their stories. Ever since Anna had started walking up this trail when she was thirteen the houses had been abandoned, and nobody bothered to come in and at least spruce them up. It had always made Anna curious, but not enough to enter one of them.
Before Anna knew it the sun was high in the sky and she could feel it staring down at her. Sweat rolled off of both her and Celine, and Anna desperately wished for water. She imagined in her mind the lake back home, imagined swimming in it, splashing, enjoying the cool water. That’s the first thing I’ll do when I get home, she decided. Go swimming.
Part 2
