Middle Scool "love"

Well i guess very one that is in middle school would know about all the people walking around in the halls holding hands, possibly hugging, and other stuff. Well how many of you readers don't have anyone to call your own, to say "oh ya he's mine and you can't have him" or something along that line? How many of you people out there kind of feel sad that you don't have anyone to call your own? Or how many of you have someone to call your own but you just wanna say "I'm over it, who needs this anymore" and just walk away from it all? Unfortunately all of us feel like that every once in a while but, at least we all feel it. Doesn't it make you feel a little sad inside? I know it dose because I've been through it many times. It's OK for the first few years but then after the next several years it starts to get anyone and u know you feel like no one thinks your important. well atleast thats what i feel...... Don't you sometimes thought? tell the truth Of course i don't expect you to always agree with what im saying beacuse you might go throught different things in your life with boy/girl trouble depending on what your thinking of and how your feeling at that momant in time. Has anyone just looked at this one perosn and said to yourself " Wow, you know i think he/she is the one" then you find out that they are totally into someone else and sometimes don't even know that you exsist. Then you try and move in to other people but, then you can see that, that person that you've been "in love with" is the one that you can't get out of your mind. even thought your trying to move on to someone else. all of there things happen and i bet you it has happened to you once or twice you never know. so i have a chalange for all you readers that are reading this to count up all of the people that you "like" and evaluate it and see if you actually like them or just think their cute. well every trait is good but you know what i mean. if you actually like them or you think you could just be friends. OH and one more thing. have your ever told someone that you liked them and they were just saying that you should only be friends over a text and you haven't even gone out with them? just think about it.

Hello. I'm here to review your work today.

Well[insert comma here] iI guess everyonevery one that is in middle school would know about all the people walking around in the halls holding hands, possiblyhugging, and other stuff I wouldn't use the word 'stuff' because you could probably elaborate on the other 'stuff' that the people are doing.. You should probably form a new paragraph here. Well[insert comma here] how many of you readers don't have anyone to call your own, to say "oh ya he's mine and you can't have him" it should be "to say, "Oh yeah, he's mine, and you can't have him." or something along that line? How many of you people out there kind of feel sad that you don't have anyone to call your own? Or how many of you have someone to call your own[insert comma here] but you just wanna sayinsert commma here "I'm over it, who needs this anymore?" and just walk away from it all? Unfortunatelyinsert comma here all of us feel like that every once in a while[insert comma here] but, at least we all feel it. Doesn't it make you feel a little sad inside? I know it dose does[b][/b] because I've been through it many times. It's OK for the first few years[insert comma here] but then after the next several years it starts to get anyone <---- this doesn't really make sense and u you know you feel like no one thinks your you're important. Well atleast at least thats what i I feel...... You don't need to use all these periods, one is enough. And, even if you feel the need to use more than one, only use three. Don't you sometimes thought? <--- That's another sentence I'm confused about. Tell the truth[insert a period here] Of course[insert a comma here] i don't expect you to always agree with what imI'm saying beacuse you might go throught different things in your life with boy/girl trouble depending on what your thinking of and how your you're feeling at that momant in time. Has anyone just looked at this one perosn and said to yourself " Wow, you know i think he/she is the one" then you find out that they are totally into someone else and sometimes don't even know that you exsist. Then you try and move in to other people but, then you can see that, that person that you've been "in love with" is the one that you can't get out of your mind. even thought your trying to move on to someone else. all of there things happen and i bet you it has happened to you once or twice you never know. so i have a chalange for all you readers that are reading this to count up all of the people that you "like" and evaluate it and see if you actually like them or just think their cute. well every trait is good but you know what i mean. if you actually like them or you think you could just be friends. OH and one more thing. have your ever told someone that you liked them and they were just saying that you should only be friends over a text and you haven't even gone out with them? just think about it.

Okay, I'm going to be done with the grammatical corrections now, because most of them are just repetitive.

About your story, I don't really know what to think of it right now. I mean, I'm not sure there's even a plot for it because for most of it you just address the readers. If you want to make a plot out of it, you should probably talk more about your own expieriences, instead of focusing on the readers.

Also, this is one big chunk. I didn't tell you where to seperate the paragraphs for the whole thing, but you do need to seperate this in to paragraphs.

You had some issues with commas, capitilization, and spelling. I think I got most of the corrections, but not all. You should probably go back and look at that.

You should also skim through your work before you post it, because you had some weirdly worded sentences and such. If you read through it a few times before posting you could probably find some of these things.

Anyways, I hope you keep writing.

Hey, if this isn't an actual writing piece, then it doesn't belong in the "romantic fiction" section. This seems to be more of a rant or something.

To answer all of your questions, yes I have been through middle school and basically every "love" thing in it. Trust me, there is no love in middle school. Focus on your grades instead of boys. Wait till high school - there is actual dating there.

Cheers,
Lena

Hey, Liana, welcome to YWS! I'm Kaedee.
Yes, I think this is the type of thing you would post in a blog. So perhaps you should start one and post this there? It doesn't seem to fit in the Romantic Fiction category as Lena said.
Also, I have a tip for you: spell check! It would help a lot.
Keep on writing-
KD