Sickness

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His eyes were glazed, closed over slightly. Beneath his pale eyelids were dull, grey eyes. I could almost see the purple and blue veins throbbing under his skin, he was that ill. Normally his hair was fluffy and long, falling over his eyes and spiked up at the back, but today, of all days, it was limp and lifeless, with a greasy sheen to it. My lip trembled.
"What's-what's wrong with him?" I asked quietly. Lisa shook her head miserably.
"Dakota, you shouldn't be worried. The doctor's say he should be fine in a few weeks, at least. Although judging on the force of his illness, it might take up to 6 months at most, but he will be fine. I promise you," She said, trying to pin up a smile. It twitched slightly at the ends.
"So he does have it then?"
"Yes,"
"Since when?"
"I don't know. A while. We had know idea, so we can't blame ourselves. He just didn't tell us,"
"He didn't seem like there was anything wrong, no symptoms or anything,"
"Yeah. Leo isn't fond of sharing his problems, I just wish he would have told us, so we could have helped him earlier, before it got to this stage,"
"If only, Lisa. It's just...sad to see him like this, in a hospital bed. Look at him, he looks dead!" Lisa's thoughtful expression quickly turned to a frown.
"Don't say that, Dakota. That's terrible. You know the illness strikes randomly. It's incredibly rare nowadays. Our bodies have become like immune to it. Back in the day, like, a hundred years ago, it affected mostly everyone. Especially the younger ones. I'm surprised the population didn't plummet with all the suicides going on. Leo is just one of the unlucky ones I guess, who's been hit with this tragedy,"
"I wonder who gave it to him..."
"They're trying to track the Carrier, they think if they do they might be able to help Leo's condition, if not just a tiny bit," Lisa bit her lip ruefully. I scoffed.
"Yeah sure. They won't catch the Carrier...good thing most of us have evolved into stronger, more protected humans, isn't it?" Lisa rolled her eyes.
"Good thing, indeed, but the important thing here is Leo. We're going to have to be very kind with him. He's like family, so I guess we have to treat him like so,"
"How would you do that? We are kind already, so what's the difference?"
"We're going to have to get him to trust us a little bit more,"
"Then he already does," I added sarcastically. Lisa ignored that. Her eyes suddenly widened.
"Look! He's stirring, call for the nurse," She hissed excitedly. I got up off my seat and headed towards the door, where a button sat next to it. I clicked the button, and it buzzed. Sitting back down, I watched with cautious eyes as Leo turned, groaned and tried to sit up.
"Wazz happ'nin," He mumbled. A nurse appeared a few moments later. He came in and tended to Leo, and then introduced himself. He was Gabriel, and was very experienced with cases like Leo's, even though he had only dealt with about five in his life.
"Hello Leo, do you know where you are?" Gabriel asked. Leo blinked, a stoned look on his face.
"The hospital," He replied. Gabriel nodded.
"Very good, Leo. I'm afraid that you're going to have to stick around here for a few days, we'll run a few tests on the degree of your illness, then we can send you to a facility that can treat you more specifically then we can. Does that sound good?" Leo's face was blank.
"Kay, whatever," He replied. Lisa looked worriedly at me, and I glanced at her.
"Nurse...what's wrong with me?" Leo asked. Gabriel looked at him sympathetically.
"You've got a very rare case, Leo. Even rarer than usual, especially at your age. It's a good thing your friends here found you before you managed to complete what you were going to do. It says here you tried to...kill yourself. Cases as bad as that do involve hospitals, at some stage. Either after death, or just as it happens, in your situation," Gabriel explained carefully. Leo's eyes regarded him with a cold stare. Lisa piped in.
"Leo...what he's trying to say is...you've got...the Sickness," She whispered, her voice hushed and frightened.
"You mean-" Leo trailed off. Gabriel, Lisa and I nodded in unison. I cleared my throat.
"Yes Leo...you have it...," I hoped he would understand by now, but he seemed shocked.
"Say it," His voice cracked.
"You were...in love, Leo." Lisa began, but her voice quickly silenced. She looked at me to finish.
"And now...," I continued, "you're heart's broken."
Last edited by Auteur on Sat Mar 06, 2010 7:06 am, edited 4 times in total.
Most people see what is and never what can be. - Albert Einstein




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Very good. One error. "And now," I continued, "you're heart broken" It should be heart's broken. :)

Olli
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Hi Auteur!

That was brilliant! I loved the flow, description and how it ended. Very good work. *Likes*
Getting a little nitpicky,

It's incredibly rare nowadays. Our bodies have become like immune to it. Back in the day, like, a hundred years ago, it affected mostly everyone.


He came in and introduced himself. He was Gabriel, and was very experienced with cases like Leo's, even though he had only dealt with about five in his life.
Basically, in such cases, the nurse would do the explaining about him/her self while examining the patient or after.

It's a good thing your kind friends here found you before you
Personally, I'm not a fan of this repeating use of 'kind' friend.

Well, that's about it. Great job.

EDIT: It should either be "you're heart-broken" or "your heart's broken."

Keep writing.
Cheers,
~Lava
~
Pretending in words was too tentative, too vulnerable, too embarrassing to let anyone know.
- Ian McEwan in Atonement

sachi: influencing others since GOD KNOWS WHEN.





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Interesting! I couldn't figure out what the Sickness was. And it was cool it was love! It's very thought provoking! :lol:
"You may not be educated well in the areas of etiquette and the like as a princess, but you do throw some bashing good parties!"
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Liked it! If you could specify who's talking when, that would be nice, though. Also, 'your heart's broken' is the line you were looking for at the end, just like everyone else said. Keep writing, me hearties! :mrgreen:
And the angel said unto him, “stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself.” But lo, he could not stop, for the angel was hitting him with his own hands.




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Good job! One thing, and I don’t know if this is right, but I thought nurses were girls. You referred to Gabriel as a nurse.

The ending was very nice! Great cliffhanger! It has me thinking :D
The bad news is we don't have any control.
The good news is we can't make any mistakes.
-Chuck Palahniuk




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xXTheBlackSheepXx wrote:Good job! One thing, and I don’t know if this is right, but I thought nurses were girls. You referred to Gabriel as a nurse.

The ending was very nice! Great cliffhanger! It has me thinking :D


Heh thanks :) And yeah, nurses are girls and boys.
Most people see what is and never what can be. - Albert Einstein




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This is so fascinating it kept me reading until the last sentence. It's definitely a book I would read and i hope to read more.
Yes, I love him. Yes, I can never have him. Yes, I don't care.
Love can't be controlled.



i exist in a constant state of confusion so its ok
— veeren