Taryn-gal: Fine, Chloe, why do you ask?
MariahRulez: Well, you’ve been moody today.
Taryn-gal: Yeah, well, I’m worried about the coming school tests, of course!
MariahRulez: So, the upset issue has nothing to do with Grace?
Taryn-gal: What are you talking about?
MariahRulez: You know what I mean! Ever since Danny started knowing her, you’ve been, well, not very happy.
Taryn-gal: How did you know about Grace?
MariahRulez: I have my ways, so…
Taryn-gal: Okay, maybe you are slightly correct. I am a little jealous.
MariahRulez: Does that mean you have feelings for him?
Taryn-gal: Don’t get excited, Chloe, I’m just slightly jealous that Grace is spending so much time with Danny, so we’re talking less nowadays.
MariahRulez: Whatever you say, Taryn, whatever you say.
* * *
“Sweet?” Chloe offered me.
“Uh, no thanks,” I was surprised. Chloe didn’t usually offer me sweets, because I had so often said no to them.
“Sure?” she asked, “It might make you feel better.”
I rolled my eyes, “Chloe, I’m fine!” Sometimes, Chloe was too nice. Not in a bad way, of course, but she was so kind that she sometimes made me feel mean.
“Ok, fine,” she shut up for a moment. Then, “I heard some news!”
I sighed, she was still trying to distract me, but I wasn’t in the mood for gossip now. “Yeah?”
“It’s about Danny,” she announced.
That caught my attention, “What?”
“He’s having this dance in school,” she beamed. I waited for her to go on talking, but she seemed to be finished.
“Wait, that’s all?” I asked, confused. We weren’t major gossips, but our rumours were usually juicier than that.
“Yup,” she looked pleased at herself, “What could make you cheer up more than if he invites you to the dance?”
I shook my head in forced laughter, wistfulness, and a bit of annoyance. “No way, Chloe. Anyway, Danny’s already decided who he wants to be with, doesn’t he?”
Suddenly, I felt angry. At Danny, for liking someone else. At Isaac, for having to leave. At Chloe, who was trying so hard.
At myself, for doing so many wrong things. Choosing the wrong decisions.
In truth, I had already chosen Isaac as the person I wanted, but seeing Danny go out with another girl made me realize how much I couldn’t give up him, too.
What was wrong with me? After weeks, I was still where I started. Choosing between three guys.
The same three guys.
* * *
I sat in front of my computer, starting to compose the email I was going to send Isaac. Yup, I had decided who I was going to be with.
Then, a window popped out.
What a coincidence, Isaac.
1Isaac1: Taryn! How you doing?
Taryn-gal: Happy, considering that I was just hoping to talk to you…
1Isaac1: Great!
I paused. Did that mean, he was happy, or that he was just saying that.
1Isaac1: Um.. Taryn, I have something I really have to tell you.
Taryn-gal: Yeah?
1Isaac1: You know what I told you about me never having a girlfriend?
Taryn-gal: Yeah…you do?
1Isaac1: Sorry.
1Isaac1: Taryn. I’m really sorry. Can you please answer???
Taryn-gal: I’m fine. Just shocked, you know…
1Isaac1: Anyway, the main point is…
Taryn-gal: There’s still a point?
1Isaac1: Um…I broke up with her before I met you, because she was so obsessed. When I met you, and when you confessed to me, I didn’t say anything, because I thought you would be, well, possessive, too….u know, with telling me your feelings in such a short time that we met…
Taryn-gal: I’m sorry about that.
1Isaac1: It’s okay. The fact is, now, she’s started chasing after me again. And I don’t want you to be part of the whole escaping game.
Taryn-gal: I made you ‘play escape’ from the blackmail. Why can’t I play this time, too?
1Isaac1: You can’t. It’s too risky. You might get your heart broken. Again. I’m sorry. And anyway, I think Danny’s more suitable for you. You guys are close.
Taryn-gal: If you could just forget about him for a second…
1Isaac1: I’m sorry. Can’t.
Isaac is currently offline, or unreachable at the moment.
I sat there, shocked, staring at his words: I’m sorry. Can’t.
I couldn’t believe it. He was so overprotective that he was breaking my heart. Again. Crushing it, in fact.
I suddenly saw a new mail sent to me.
I opened it, still stunned.
The email was from Isaac. It read:
I’m sorry, Taryn. I truly am.
Please forgive me. And forget me.
I’ll remember you forever.
Isaac.
How had my life changed so fast again? Was I in some sort of alternate universe where events happened quickly, yet somehow passed slowly…?
I would forgive Isaac, I was sure of that. It was the forget him part that I was worried about. I wouldn’t be able to lose those memories of him. Never.
Unless I got hit by a car. Literally.
And get amnesia.
* * *
I didn’t want anybody to find out about this…this…news.
I wanted to keep it under wraps. Never to be revealed.
For one thing, I didn’t want anyone knowing about my memories. For another, they were personal.
There was so may things I could do now. I could go for war with Grace, and snatch Danny back. I didn’t have to decide between Danny and anyone else now, except…
Jonathan.
I could just be with Jonathan, forget about everyone else, and start a sort of new life. Sure, if I was with Jonathan, I wouldn’t feel any love sparks between us, or any of that butterfly in your stomach feeling. It would basically be a boring relationship. But, he would treat me well, at least. And Ryan did mention before that you could force yourself to like someone.
I absent-mindedly shut down my computer. The tone the computer always emited when it shut down rang in my ears, making me jump out from my thoughts.
Was I crazy? Was I actually suggesting to myself that I would go out with Jonathan? Or actually agreeing to Ryan’s thoughts that love could be ‘created’?
Why was I even thinking of being with a guy? I had been single before all these events occurred, and I had survived just fine. My life then hadn’t been exciting, but it had certainly been stable.
And that was the way I would want it.
Go back in time…be independent, again.
Depend only on myself.
My phone rang. I picked it up, already feeling much freer now that my decision had been made.
Before I had even uttered a ‘Hello?’, I was interrupted by someone shouting.
Danny.
“Stop!” he yelled into the phone in panic.
“Dan…what’s wrong?” I asked.
“Don’t choose Isaac, Taryn!” Danny sounded desperate, “Chloe just told me.”
What on earth did Chloe tell him? Why was he sounding so shocked, anyway? I spoke into the phone calmly, “What I do is my choice, Danny, and why do you care, anyway? You have Grace!”
“No, I don’t,” his voice was choked.
“Danny, I don’t think I --” I started to say.
“Taryn. I love you.”
Ok, so in case anyone here is hooked on this story already... would you mind going to www.realoutoflove.blogspot.com to check it out? its nothing special, but i would feel AWESOME if you guys would... same with Taryn!
Thx for reading, anyway!