Futility (part 1)

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fhwdf
Gender Female
Points 6202
Reviews 38
Sun Feb 28, 2010 7:25 pm
fhwdf says... · Sun Feb 28, 2010 7:25 pm
[removed]
Last edited by fhwdf on Tue Nov 29, 2011 9:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"What if, doctor, we need these knots and these tangles because they're the only things holding our souls down - and if we untied the knots and untangled the tangles and stretched them out ... would our souls just float away?"
~Luke Kennard, A Practical Course in Entry Level Expressionism
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Quetseli
Gender Female
Points 4815
Reviews 45
Sun Feb 28, 2010 7:47 pm
Quetseli says... · Sun Feb 28, 2010 7:47 pm
I think it's fine. The only thing I would work on is to be more descriptive about your characters and their surroundings. It would help the mental image and probably get you a better grade if you turned it in as your play. But I like it so far. Good job, keep it up! Waiting for the second part if you write one. :3
And I vow oath to this creed and all who are within it, to protect and value them all.
-Altorian Guard Recruit Ceremony
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I say Wolf, for all wolves are not of the same sort; there is one kind with an amenable disposition – neither noisy, nor hateful, nor angry, but tame, obliging and gentle, following the young maids in the streets, even into their homes. Alas! Who does not know that these gentle wolves are of all such creatures the most dangerous!
— Charles Perrault