Beware Doll, You're Bound to Fall

*removed

Hello Attolia, welcome to YWS!

I really like this piece, it's very interesting. First, I want to point out that you did indent it alright, it did work, just so you know. Second, you have a few mechanical errors, mostly comma use, which can be easily fixed with just a glance at it. The information in this is very vague, though. Which, I guess, is either really good since it's only the first part and sets up to show us more or bad because it shows almost nothing about who these people are. Something else I want to point out is when Adele trips and Mathieu catches her, it seems to change the tone too fast.

“Oh Adèle,” he turned to face her, “you know that I would dearly love to kill you.” She smiled at this and took off her shawl, throwing it on the bed.
She trailed her hands down her body and rose to walk toward him. When she was only a foot away, the girl tripped, and only Mathieu’s timely intervention prevented her from falling. He caught and righted her before standing up himself.
“You’re drunk!” Mathieu was surprised. He has never seen her not completely in control of herself, and he wouldn’t have thought it possible. The complexity of the girl was beginning to take its toll on him.
“Not so very drunk,” she smiled.
“What is wrong with you?” he questioned, exasperated

He's being sarcastic one second and all of a sudden he's tired of her? I think you need to fix this so it's a gradual change and not so quick. For instance, you can add details of him noticing her inebriated behavior and slowly becoming aware and agitated with her before he actually becomes exasperated. And one more thing, Adele sounds so freaky. I know she's a drunk character now, but she seems... like a different person from the first half than the second half of the piece. Does that make sense? If it doesn't you can pm me and I can explain better for you. I think that's it other than that it seems like a good beginning and I'm more than likely going to read any more of what you post on this.
Good luck.

Wow, solid observations, thank you so much for reviewing it!
Haha, yeah Adele is freaky. I can't really explain much more though, it's too complicated, but you'll probably understand a little more of her if I post more. But one thing that might clear it up a little is this: he's actually not being sarcastic; he would love to kill her. Or he used to, at least, but now he's slowly beginning to understand her and is just tired of dealing with her. But either way, they both know he would rather her be dead. You're spot on about the way she seems different in the first half and second half, too - that's my bad. I actually wrote the first half a couple days ago but stopped because I couldn't decide how I wanted to continue it, and then I finished it last night. I can explain her change partly in that in the first half she's trying to throw herself at him, even though she knew all along he wouldn't go with that (it's just almost a reflex for her), and now he's pushed her away enough times that she can stop trying. You're still right though about the inconsistency, I'll try to change it. Thank you again so much for reviewing, did this clear up anything lol?

*oh, also, it's a scene more in the middle of the book if that helps, sorry probably should mentioned that earlier

Yes, it completely makes sense now. And you're welcome, if you want me to review anything else for you I will, just ask me. And also, when it's the middle of the book, it's actually very useful information for the reader or else you leave them completely confused and unsure of what on Earth the piece is about. Happy writing!