Dreams Of Love

Her eyes, like the blue skies
Her hair, appears to fly.
This girl who stares,
Into my eyes.

She looks at me,
With no surprise,
She is the one,
The one for me,

I love this girl,
As you may see,
A broken road,
Completely corrode

Left with traces,
Of our love,
A vicious swirl,
Of bright pink dust

We hold our hands,
And simply laugh,
This girl as great,
We had a good past.

This girl is blond,
But she's pretty,
She is not dumb,
She's smarter than me.

Her golden eyes,
Are made of fire,
Our strongest love,
We do desire.

She is my queen,
And I'm her king,
We rule together,
As we swing,

At the park,
She kisses me,
I love this girl,
With all my heart.

Me and her,
Will never part,
She turns to me and as we leave,
She kisses me.

Right on the cheek,
We walk away,
She turns around,
I stop and say,

I love you babe,
She comes to me,
And kisses me,
But this time,

I look in her eyes,
The most beautiful shade,
Of hazel and brown,
Our lips will part and we say goodbye,

But when she's gone,
I miss her,
All the time,
This girl her name.

Is confidential,
But this girl,
She has potential,
I can give you a hint,

Of who it is,
But only she,
Will know.
She Loves to play,

A certain sport,
Sometimes i call her swish.











Love, Kilo

I don't want to bash anything on this! *glances*

Just read through it out loud and make sure all of the commas are correctly placed. If you're pausing mid-sentence, it doesn't need to be there. Poetry has sentences in it, so if you need to break it up to where it's just a line of sentences. You, wouldn't have a, comma in the, middle of, your sentence, would you? It just throws you off. That's really all I had to say. I really love your poetry and wish you'd write more often. Keep writing, Kilo.

Love,
Fixed

This is really sweet! I wish someone felt the way about me...

Aww, so romantic! Ooh chills running down my spine boy. That was really good! No, it was fantastic. Where did you learn to write like that?
Wow, I bet if you read this to her she would cry 'cause she's so over-joyed.
Your poem has a very beautiful rhythmic flow to it.
You built strong imagery and that always has to be an intention, so good job on that.


"This girl is blond,But she's pretty,She is not dumb,She's smarter than me"
This line right here kind of threw me off for about a few seconds because it is not really mentioning about love more about comparison unlike the rest of the poem. I don't know if you'd change it, you can try? :]
You're very talented so never stop writing poetry. :p
~Skyy.

I really liked it. I agree with the whole unnecessary commas thing, unless you intended to make it that stilted, but I wouldn't think so. I also agree that this is a beautifully romantic work. I loved it. It's nice to see such strong, pure emotion running through such well laid words.