Loves Final Kiss

7 posts
Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 2
I wrote this poem a few years back, though I'm not sure if this is fine. A review would be very helpful. Thank you!
_______________________________________________
Suddenly my days of fun ended,
with you departing far from me,
to think that i could have gone dead,
just seeing and talking to you makes me jump with glee,
I'm so empty without you beside me.

My dreams of us together just doesn't seem,
I would always do anything for you,
never would I hurt you even in my dreams,
but the hardest part is I never told you,
how much i feel about you now and forever.

As the bright moon rises high,
the sorrow of the black sky overcomes me,
as my tears fall, i'll say i'm fine but its a lie,
the truth is, you were the one that kept me movin,
the fatigue of my tears help me find sleep.

As my days come to an ending sore,
I only wish for me to say,
"I'll always love you now and forever more",
and as I depart, I only hope to pray,
recieving loves final kiss.
:smt005 :smt005




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 8671
Reviews 94
When I finished reading this I was like, "Oh my Gosh!" This is very sad but it is very good. It relates to me...so that's why it's amazingggg! I'm sorry that I can't find anything wrong with it, but it's just it's so true how this poem can pertain to some one's emotions and thoughts. Nice job, :)
~Sky
Come sail the stars with me
Through the sky not through the sea
Come sail the stars with me
Take me hand and make believe
Come sail the stars with me
Through the sky not through the sea
Come sail the stars with me
Take me hand and make believe
~JT Lloyd




Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 2




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 8671
Reviews 94
You are very welcome, :)
Come sail the stars with me
Through the sky not through the sea
Come sail the stars with me
Take me hand and make believe
Come sail the stars with me
Through the sky not through the sea
Come sail the stars with me
Take me hand and make believe
~JT Lloyd




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1770
Reviews 10
You did a fantastic job but sorry to say the way of writing has to be change once. After that you will find your writings better. It made me remember of someone. I hope many people would rememeber someone after reading this.
i like this "how much i feel about you now and forever."

The feeling is awesome.

carry on.

suraj
My lust for knowledge can do whatever it wants.

Love is life and life is writing.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1040
Reviews 16
very good ronnie!!! it's a very inspiring poem, keep it up!!!

keep writing and dreaming big!!!

We will all succeed! :)

I remember someone that i care a lot but "she" doesn't cares about me :(
"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so..."




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 300
Reviews 0
Whoa! Nice work ;)
When i was a chiLd i buiLt a wall of hatred arOund me. When i was aSked, "From what did u buiLd this wall?", i repLied... "From the stOnes of insuLts!"



What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god -- the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals!
— William Shakespeare