Couple of poems

Poem #1

I had a dog once it
Had only three legs
I rescued him from the
Pound I thought I did

I had only had him one
Week he walked out into the
Street maybe if I’d have
Walked with him

I used to dream that I
Screamed
Cried
His flesh splattered blood
All over the road
The White van

Truth be told I did
Neither nothing except
Standing watching

It was better this way to be
Gone I’m sure he
Would have wanted
Else he would never have
Walked out into the street

Oh how I do envy I wish I
Were as fragile

Turns out I did
Rescue him
After all
If only someone
Same for me


Poem #2

Black
These walls
This Room
These flaws
Black

My eyes are open
Black
My eyes are closed
Black

Lain on the Black
Wooden flaw Naked
The cold it feels
Black

The long iced liquid
The sharp tip
The open flesh
The euphoria
Red

Goodbye Black world

Hey Amie,

Weird, for some reason the poems format is scattered all over the place but when I hit reply the correct format you orginally put it in, shows at the bottom. Thank God because I was deeply confused at first.
However, I am still a bit confused with the format you put the first poem in, could you explain it maybe? It doesnt read together..
Shouldn't it be..
I had a dog once
It had only three legs
I rescued him from the pound-
I thought I did
?
It is an interesting topic to say the least and so is the one that follows.
Quite fascinating! I like the word euphoria and the transition to RED.
Anyways... that's all I have for you right now, till I can somehow connect to what it is you are trying to convey with your poetry.

I liked both, yes. The first poem: It is just when I started reading it, I could tell each line didn't quite connect. It sounds rough at the edges. Overall it was ok but it doesn't really have a complete story to it...try playing with emotions. reading aloud really helps fix lines that don't sound fit.
The second poem I thought was interesting. I liked the last line, too. Keep on writing!
~Sky

for the first poem, did you write it in that style on purpose? it breaks the sentences in the middle and gives it a jagged rhythm. can you explain why you did this? other than that, its a poem that seems to start off a little bit humorously (could be my misinterpretation), then gets tragic.

Truth be told I did
Neither nothing except

this bit didn't make sense to me as a sentence

Street maybe if I’d have
Walked with him

this seemed to be an incomplete sentence.... perhaps i don't have that much experience with poems

the second one i liked more. The meaning was clear, and it was provocative and dark (excuse the pun). i think it's about suicide... am i right? i hope you have never considered it. otherwise, i like the line:

My eyes are open
Black
My eyes are closed
Black

i immediately understood that no matter what the author tries, they're still depressed. say, do you read a lot of Sylvia Plath? i haven't read any myself..