Old Memory

Bury the memory.
The one you have of me.
Wash all the dreams away.
It's me who can not stay.

Look around you, open you heart.
It is time for me to part.
Cant you see? you and me.
Together we can't be free.

It's hard to understand,
To know all that he has planned.
Time to walk away, walk away.
It has become harder for me to stay.

Leave that memory you have of me behind.
I need to block you out my mind.
like nothing ever happened, i still see you every day.
i need to go far from here, it's me who cannot stay.

think about a world with out me,
think about how we can be free.
forget your memory of me.




still working on this poem, let me know what you think of it so far.

Hello Dacoozed, I'm Lydia and I will be your reviewer for today.

I liked this poem, it was a good idea and it has great potential but it needs a few tweaks. Firstly the punctuation, you need to work on it a bit, there are times when you need a comma instead of a period at the end of the lines. You also repeated yourself a lot, I would have rather you told me how your character was feelin a little more rather than repeat the same lines. This poem is a work in progress so I won't pick apart anymore.

Overall I liked this, I thought it was an original idea, PM me if you decide to post the finished poem.

Well Done!
Keep Writing
~Lydia

Ps. How did you get your avatar to be so big?

You're very welcome! and talented, keep on writing!