TRUE HAPPINESS OF HIS AND MY HEART
In my life, I thought death was destined for me and there was no chance that I could live long. I thought there was only a small world for me, but a person came to my life who gave meaning to my existence, the one who said that there was a bigger place for the me to live in, the person who became my inspiration and who showed me happiness and love that I didn’t live through in my life.
________________________________________
Since childhood, I often go to the hospital at all times because of my poor condition. I rarely go to school, and worst of all, missed final exams. I never had friends at school or outside of the hospital but I have some patient friends who were always good to me. I thought I was already fated to live in the hospital. My parents rarely visit me because they were very hectic when it comes to business since they owned large companies, they don’t really need to be worried about me since there are doctors and nurses around me.
Until I was in middle school, I was healthy again. I did have many friends who were really loyal to me, but I didn’t inform them about my situation before, I didn’t want to embarrassed myself. Since then, I became an overachiever and was placed in top 10 honors. I studied hard, and my parents became very impressed and declared that I was going to be the next successor of their big business.
Then when I became a high school student, things were becoming difficult, since my sickness before, was starting to grow and occur again. So, I went back to the hospital and there I was schooled by a paid teacher. After few weeks, my health just keeps on going worse every day. There I knew my parents arrange a contract and a certificate because they were adopting a child. I didn’t bother to ask the reason why, I might expect a bad reply. From that moment, I kept on crying and crying till my eyes gets swollen. I thought my parents didn’t love me anymore and believed they don’t like a sick daughter like me but a healthy one.
As I went through in my life, there came a person who completely changed the way I looked at life. I met him the day after the cold storm at night. I heard from others that he got into an accident including his friends, who were badly injured. That morning, there I saw him walking helplessly, his head and his right leg was dressed with a bandage and with a crutch supporting him.. Unfortunately, Han Lee, an American Korean, accidentally bumped him; the man almost lost his balance until I supported him, holding both of his shoulder.
“Sorry about that… Han lee is just way too careless running along corridor.” I said with a laugh.
“Thanks.” He then looked at me and smiled.
“I heard that you got into an accident. Must be really hard for you, right?” I asked him as we continually walked in the hallway. He just nodded without giving me a reply.
“I’m Shirley. What about you?” I asked, looking at him.
“I’m Darrell…” he said awkwardly.
“What’s wrong? Is it your first time to talk to a girl?” I covered my mouth, obviously hiding a laugh.
“Nothing… it’s just astonishing… I mean when you wake up, the first person who would talk to you is somebody you don’t know and the funniest thing about is… it’s a girl.” He looked at me unpleasantly.
“Ok… sorry to bother you, Darrell… It’s just nice to meet a new friend.” I directly turned around and walk, but then an arm held my shoulder.
“It’s not like something to offend you, really… I mean it is okay meeting you. I want a friend after all…” He smiled so breathtakingly, that I was stunned, looking at him. It took me few seconds to smile back. And then it was the start of our new friendship.
Darrell and I were like children, we only met for a few days, and then we, by now became best friends for each other. We did everything a lot. We shared our high school life and our goals and dreams. There, I knew how Darrell got into an accident. It was a stormy night, and he was invited to his friend’s party but his mother declined, but still he went for it and got on to his best friend’s car. The radio in the car was so loud and the speed was getting faster and faster, until they didn’t notice a big delivery truck was right in front of them and accidentally smashed the car, leaving them wounded.
I never told him about everything in my life, like my parents adopted a girl, which I met, who was like Cinderella’s step sister. I didn’t also inform him about my condition. I lied by telling him that I got a high fever which will be cured for weeks. I did that because, he might be out of the hospital someday and probably might forget about me.
There was one time, when we went to the hospital’s rooftop and there we saw the sunset going down beautifully. It didn’t feel like a romance between us, we were just friends. But then, as we were sitting down in a bench, I noticed him looking at me whenever I gazed at the sun. I feel there was something wrong in my face, dirt probably.
My feelings suddenly grew differently since I met him. The closer I get into him, the feelings inside of me alter, which was unpredictable. I didn’t believe that I felt affection for him, because I treated him only as a friend and nothing more, but there was really something called ‘love’ that began growing inside of me. Darrell was different from all boys that I’ve met. He was easy to talk to; he’s just a simple guy and he wasn’t like a flirt or a bully. He was totally unique from others. I was glad to have a friend like him.
Then, after those sunset gazing, my birthday came the day after that. I wasn’t expecting to have a party or a bash, but then I received gifts from my patient friends and from my relatives and my family. They bought a big cake and some few refreshments. While we were celebrating it, Darrell whispered to me, and told me to go to the fountain at 8, near the back door 47 (still in the hospital), to wait there and added that he was going to give me a surprise. I never had an idea, even my friends.
So, as promised, I went there, being blindfolded by Darrell. He started to say the signal. I slowly unfold the clothe that covered my eyes. There appeared purple candles everywhere, which turned out to be my favorite color. There were some flowers lining as I got near to the fountain. We squatted, facing the fountain. And there I realized that he was confessing his feelings about me. Before I answer him, of course I have to tell him that I had a heart failure and was suffering from it. I also informed him about my family that my parents adopted, because I wasn’t going to be their next successor in my family’s business and the adopted will be the next heir, probably they didn’t have enough faith in me since I was born sick after all. Then, I was thinking twice since I did felt the same, but I was worried about our future, how can we love and stay forever if I possessed this kind of illness of mine? He also added and informed me that he also kept something I not ought to know about; he lost a lung when that incident happened. That’s why he was too weak now from those physical activities and can only run for a short distance.
We were both suffering to a bad condition and sicknesses, and were both weak. He said that no matter what happens, ‘he’ll be always strong. Having faith and to take courage at all times, for the both of us’. I accepted him and felt happy, because the feelings inside of me want me to be really close to him and I know he loves me from who I am, he did accept me even If, I own this kind of condition and most of all is that I really love him, not as being friends but a commitment between us.
Then a day came when the doctor requested Darrell to leave the hospital since his wound was rapidly healing and became fine already. Darrell said it was fine for him not to have another lung, so the doctors accept it but gave him medicines to prevent some hard times and breathe comfortably. I thought my life was no meaning when Darrell left, but he said not to worry since he’ll promise to visit me every time, especially during weekends and holidays. Undeniably, I believed in him because I know once he promised, never will he broke it.
Then, as time passed by, as sworn, he kept on visiting me, giving me flowers, and some fruits. Most of the patient in the hospital kept on pushing us to get married, but we were too young for that and we have to wait for the right time. And then, a time came when in he rarely go to me anymore, I asked him the reason why and he replied that it’s because of his studies, since he was a 2nd year college student. I know what he felt and just accepted it. But then, as far as I expected, he didn’t visited me anymore for two weeks already, I understand about his studies but at least once a week, so I can see his face. My friends, who kept on saying that Darrell had another love of his life, like he had another girl, that he was too tired of me, and worst of all, I kept thinking that he didn’t like me anymore because I was a sick person, just what my parents deliberated about me.
As days passed by, my condition was getting worse. The doctors said that I shouldn’t be stressed out and that I shouldn’t keep thinking on those negative things. They said there can be some possibilities that I might take some surgeries or operations, even worse heart transplant. They also stated that my heart was getting dysfunctional and it was too weak to take any large activities or work for me. I was busy thinking of Darrell. What might have happened to him? What about his promise? Those problems are just hard to find a possible answer.
One day, there came a flower with a letter from Darrell. I felt relieved at that time that I directly opened the envelope. It was stated there that he just needs time to study for his final exams and he assures to me that he’s going to visit me on February 13. I do believe in him but my faith was fading already. My friends even the nurses said that I should forget all about him already. That he’s gone into my life. I sometimes reflect upon myself that I wished I never met him. I wished I was never sick to be able to meet him in the hospital. There was even a time, when I tried to commit suicide using a knife which I secretly took from the canteen, but unluckily, a nurse came to my room and held the knife, stopping me.
Then a moment finally came, I felt so unconscious and I was hardly breathing, my chest was in pain like it was bleeding, and the doctors said, I need a heart transplant immediately if I want to stay longer. They immediately carried me with a stretcher in going to the emergency room. As I was being dragged, I felt so tired and thought I was getting weaker every time I breathe, it was hard for me. The chest pain in my body is like needles that stuck through in my skin and my heart was pumping slowly, and I felt terribly dying. I thought my life was going to end when the doctor said that they are no available donors. I lost all of my faith. I was hopeless.
The next day…
I thought I was in another place, like heaven… but when I rubbed my eyes hardly, and then I was on a bed, lying. My eyes were getting clearer and I stood up from the bed, a tube was inserted through my skin. My body had been bandaged. I thought I was dead… but how did these happen? Where those just a dream? Then suddenly, Nurse Jenny went inside the room, holding a folder.
“Are you okay, Ms. Shirley?” she asked me, while checking the cardiograph beside me.
“I don’t know… How did these happen?” I asked her curiously. It was February 14.
Before she could say anything, Dr. Henry went inside the room. Then he went directly to me, then a person came, he was so unfamiliar to me.
I just knew that he was Darrell’s friend. I was going to asked him where Darrell was but he just looked at another direction then gave me a paper containing a certificate. I saw Darrell’s name and was placed there as the donor’s name. I was shocked too see it. I was just there looking at the paper. He said that Darrell died because of a car accident. Darrell’s friend’s name was Angelo, he was his childhood friend. He said that it happened when Darrell was going here to the hospital to meet me but a car was moving fast that its brakes went off, bumping hard to Darrell. Angelo gave me then a flower that contains a valentine’s letter from him. He also informed me that Darrell needed a therapy that’s why he changed to another hospital so that I wouldn’t know about it. He lied about those excuses and didn’t attend any in his school anymore when the operation was getting planned by the doctors. He didn’t tell me, so that I wouldn’t be disappointed about him and he doesn’t want to give or add problems to my life, he doesn’t want me to be worried about him.
As I was listening to Angelo, I didn’t notice that tears were getting out from my face. I can’t tell to myself I was such a fool to think about those negative things that I thought about him. I was late too know all about him. After few hours, Dr. Henry went to my room and said that Darrell was the donor, the only available at that time when I need a heart transplant… Darrell who died of a car accident and his parents were willingly to give his heart to me; he was the one who gave his heart to me, since he was painfully suffering from that incident that happened to him twice.
I can’t believe that he died just like that and had a therapy without me knowing about it. Now I know that not all things comes back to you after you loved those valuables so much, so much that when it vanishes out of your life, you won’t be disappointed but happy, cause at least you did know and lived with it, which was especially given to you. He gave me life and that life gave me heart who told me once that as always, he’s inside of me, he was happy to be with me and never will he leave me because I know that’s what his and my heart tells, that it was happy that we’re together forever.
By: yuriiko12345
