Ok so this is the first time i have done anything like this. Basically i'm in the process of writing a book and i'd like to post extracts to get feedback, i've not shared my work with anyone before...But I know that i need some fresh eyes to look at my work and be honest with me so i'd really appreciate anything anyone has to say...I'm thinking the title would be Zenith but i could change my mind and the following is an large extract...(this isn't the beginning of the story as i have not done that yet, working from the action first...)
Though everyone’s breaths were empty they seemed to scream out painfully at me in fear and anticipation as we moved through the forest. Each of our deepest thoughts and fears echoed by the whispers of the age old forest trees. With each sweep of the wind the rustling of the leaves intensified, as the usually complacent trees began to scream out to me, turn back, turn back. For the first time I wished that the rustling of the leaves meant nothing to me, I wished for the same ignorance as everyone else because I knew that, as always, the old and wise trees were right.
The quickened pace of our feet depreciated into a much more cautious one. The light air of the forest had begun to turn to ice, which burnt my throat with each long breath. The usually beautiful and majestic forest that I knew so well had now become a stranger to me; it had become the haunting forest from my dream, the dream that was slowly unfolding into a real life nightmare. We came to an abrupt halt and stood in an accidental line of defence. We waited in anticipation. The forest too had become completely silent as though anticipating the inevitable battle with us. We waited in fear. I glanced around to Hetty, to Alastair, and to Meredith all eyes were focused directly ahead. The distantly faint crunch of a twig on the forest floor had us all gripping at our weapons in preparation. Without warning Alastair’s voice tore through the silence like a knife. Turning to look at him as his words rung in my ears, I noticed how his lips did not move; his voice was deep within my head,
“We can cover more ground if we separate,” he was inside everyone’s heads, “If you find yourself in danger send two red sparks up toward the sky and speak to the trees, they can hear you and they can help you.” Following his orders we segmented into smaller groups and delved deeper into the forest. I had been paired with Hetty and I was glad because I felt drawn to her, and though I didn’t know why, I felt safe with her. We glided side-by-side entwining narrowly through the trees. Our quickening pace transformed the forest into a blur of brown and green. We were both as light as the air, which we breathe.
Startled by a loud snapping noise I catapulted myself directly into an old elm, knocking myself to the ground and losing my sword. I had little time to consider the empty breath of the usually quite obnoxious tree as my eyes searched for Hetty but where stunned to find that she was nowhere to be seen. My heart began to race painfully as I realised that I was completely alone. My eyes shot around in all directions hoping more than anything to see her but it was an empty hope. Another loud snapping through the trees caused my heart to skip a beat. I was painfully alone, painfully vulnerable, and painfully aware that something was approaching.
A low raspy growl sent a gravely shiver down my spine and though my body now stood firm, it was unsteady. Slowly, a pack of wolves ascended through the trees and stood before me bearing their razor edged teeth. It felt impossible for me to feel anything other than the anticipation of my impending death. Mustering up every ounce of courage I had, I picked up my sword and swished it left and right in dismal warning. As the largest black wolf took a jump toward me I stumbled backward, landing directly on my back as my hands instinctively threw themselves in front of me instead of behind. Instantaneously I sat bolt upright so I could see the wolves. I gasped as I witnessed the scene in front of me unfolding in slow motion. I watched in awe as the large black wolf flew backward through the air, hitting a tree with such force that the ground beneath me shook. As the scene reverted back to real time the wolf lay cowering on the floor, nursed by two of the smaller paler wolves as the rest of the pack began to close in on me.
I was starting to feel the power boiling up inside me and I was willing it to take control. Again my hands flew out instinctively, throwing another wolf into the air and into a tree, which rejoiced in my triumph. Stupidly I began to feel invincible, like my earlier fear had been needless but I was brought crashing back to reality as countless wolves entered the opening where I stood, accompanying some sinister looking men and women.
They all looked similar to one another excepting the towering male whose eyes were deeply shadowed. His presence seemed to scream out beware and the atmosphere around him instantly turned to ice. His stepping forward instilled an unnerving silence into the forest, nobody, and nothing made a noise, nobody even seemed to breathe, not even me. A strikingly beautiful woman, whose pitch black eyes matched exactly to her hair, followed closely behind him. After contemplating me curiously she broke the silence,
“Vladimir, it is true,” she spoke in an almost whisper, her voice much softer than I had anticipated, a softness that I couldn’t help but trust, it seemed almost familiar to me, “her eyes, do you see the truth in her eyes. I have no doubt; I have seen those very eyes before. Surely you recognise them too?”
As he moved ever closer to me he did so alone as he now began to intrinsically contemplate me. As he gently took hold of my chin and raised my head up so that our eyes met I felt too curious to move away. Though a fear welled inside my gut I did not drop my gaze from his, mesmerised by the look of familiarity. My mind worked over time as it tried to place where exactly I had seen those eyes before. The world and time seemed to stand still as we both inspected one another’s eyes. My fear had almost completely disappeared as I began to feel more comfortable with this familiar stranger.
A loud hissing from behind me diverted both my thoughts and attention. The fear immediately seeped back in as I noticed Casius stood behind me. My heart raced as he lunged at Vladimir as I began to fear for both of their lives. Casius’s eyes were blood thirsty as he and Vladimir encircled one another, neither making the first attack. As he hissed loudly and bared his fangs, Vladimir hissed back forming his own set from within his teeth. I wanted to pinch myself in the hope that I was dreaming but I knew that no matter how surreal this had all become it was in fact, reality.
“Kill it,” I heard one of his followers said hoarsely just as an echo of hissing ensued. Up in the trees a coven of vampires had surrounded us all,
“If anyone dies tonight, I can assure you it will not be one of us,” the blonde haired woman had shrunk through the trees and stood beside me, she was young and looked barely threatening in appearance yet her words were filled with a distinct air of promise. The icy air of the forest now grew tight, constricting my breaths further.
“Kill it,” a voice erupted in my head though no lips had moved, “Kill it master, and make an example of him.” The quick flicker from Vladimir’s eyes showed me exactly who had been speaking, “I will do it then,” continued the voice as his hands raised.
“Casius!” I yelled as I instantaneously leaped forward throwing a curse out which caused a bright explosion in the air as it deflected the curse heading toward us.
“Kill,” the voices began to echo, “Kill,” as they conjured up curses and sent them in my direction. All the vampires jumped down in my defence and fought with the followers as I tried desperately to deflect each curse before it hit me. Out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of a proud smile on Vladimir’s face before it disappeared.
“Let me put an end to this,” said the terrifyingly beautiful woman who had been stood at Vladimir’s side. She rose up her hands high above her head forming a great black shadow between them,
“Gloria, No!” Vladimir bellowed as he threw her ten feet backward, “you will not harm her,” her picked her up by her dress, “never harm her, do you understand?” She nodded sheepishly before she fell back into the shadows of the forest.
My attention had been mislaid for too long as I found myself tearing backward through the forest. As my head hit the tree and immediately began to seethe with blood, Casius lunged at my attacker though before he even had a chance to attack him, Vladimir conjured a ball of fire and set it on his own follower setting him ablaze. Not being defeatist I stumbled to my feet and without thinking I created a dark shadow in my hands. I screamed out in agony and the shadow disappeared as a sudden soaring pain struck my lower back and began to sweep over my entire body.
“No!” Vladimir yelled as I watched his eyes widen in horror as they looked down at my stomach. I dropped my gaze down to my stomach and felt my own eyes widen as they focused on the sword that had pierced through my body. My loose hair fell down between my eyes and the sword; its striking black colour was identical to Gloria’s, and for a second I wondered if my eyes had changed too.
I tried to scream out but I could barely catch enough breath to keep my heart from ceasing to beat. My head felt unbearably heavy and my eyelids drooped as I fell down to my knees. The forest was slowly becoming a blur of green and brown and black. The trees cried out in horror as they debated my death, some even began to weep. With each beat of my now weak heart a surge of pain swallowed me. The raging fire in my veins consumed me inch by inch. I raised my head long enough to see the small drop of salty water running down his cheek,
“They’re coming Vladimir,” Gloria whispered as she pulled him away and they disappeared into the shadows.
“It’s OK, you’re going to be OK,” Casius voice became muffled as I recoiled in pain, I could feel him cradling my body in his arms and kissing me softly on the forehead. “Please be OK, you have to be OK.” I sensed that there was more people now all standing around me,
“Casius, we must leave now. They cannot find us here,” the female spoke in a hushed and anxious tone, “they will find her here, she will be fine with them, we can do no more for her now please Casius come.”
With one last prolonged kiss on my lips I felt my body slither out of his arms and down onto the damp forest floor. I lay cold, still and alone as each of my breaths grew ever shorter. As the icy air glazed over my body, I lay with my thoughts and waited. Waited for death.
