Bye life

3 posts
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dasiamari
Gender Female
Points 248
Reviews 65
Fri Feb 12, 2010 10:04 pm
dasiamari says... · Fri Feb 12, 2010 10:04 pm
Round and round I go
Back and forth
To and fro

Never stopping
Never talking

As life passes by
my life passes by
bye, bye life


:thud:
Know that she's back in the atmosphere I'm afraid that she'll think of me as a plain old Jain told a story 'bout a man who was to afraid to fly so he never did land. ~Train
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dasiamari
Gender Female
Points 248
Reviews 65
Fri Feb 12, 2010 11:40 pm
dasiamari says... · Fri Feb 12, 2010 11:40 pm
:xd:
Last edited by dasiamari on Fri Feb 19, 2010 1:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
Know that she's back in the atmosphere I'm afraid that she'll think of me as a plain old Jain told a story 'bout a man who was to afraid to fly so he never did land. ~Train
Quote




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fiction903
Gender Female
Points 15446
Reviews 136
Sat Feb 13, 2010 12:19 am
fiction903 says... · Sat Feb 13, 2010 12:19 am
Round and round I go.
Back and forth,
To and fro,

Never stopping,
Never talking,

As life passes by, If I were you I would take out "As life passes by"
my life passes by,
bye, bye life.
I would change the endingIf I were you I would also add some
descriptions.
Have a good night . Fiction
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3 posts


There is nothing more radical or counter-cultural, at the moment, than laying down one’s cynicism in favour of tender vulnerability.
— John Green