Young Writers Society

Burn, fill us with warmth
You make us feel happy
And filled with joy.
You make me feel this way,
But not as much as love, I say.
For it fills me with warmth
You cannot toy.

Don't even try,
Don't even dare,
For this love I have
Does not even compare
To your warmth that you
Contain.

It is a very short poem.When you talk about the "us" in your poem I wish you would elaborate. I would change

For it fills me with warmth
You cannot toy.

I think that this line sounds a little awkward.
I think you should replace "toy" with a stronger word.
I think you should work on your rhythm a little bit more.
Hopefully that helps.
Have a great night Fiction.

Yeah it's really not that great. I actually wrote it for school quite a while ago but I felt like publishing it to see what other people think. Thanks tho!

<3 Sara.

i love your poem allot! I is very catchy and creative! keep on writing!

Wow thanks Lily!

Nice poem it was short, sweet, and to the point.
Love is still a confusing word for me and I know its not fair
,but to you I plainly see that nothing can compare.
The poem (though short lived) was filled with emotion and I raise my glass to it.
Again I say great work even though Love for me is just a girl's trick!
Your simple reviewer,
-Dawn

i liked your metaphor, how you compare passion with a burn. but to tell you the truth it felt kind of awkward when i read it. overall it was a good poem.

Nice poem.

It was short and catchy. I liked some of your descriptive words.

Keep writing!

- RedRaven