Into the Void

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Falling so serenely into the void, I grasp at everything before me

The storming air lashes my hands
The rushing fire burns my flesh
The cascading water drenches my body
The pummeling earth bashes my entirety
The torrent sways of falling and rising with such duplicity
The maelstrom forces of placation and disambiguation contend so
The untamed powers of essentiality and obscurity render forth
Yet for all the chaos that surrounds and encompasses
Serenity takes hold of me
Harmony beckons to me
Tranquility avails within me

In The Void of Nothing

The Body may injure
At contention

But Nothing can harm The Soul
At peace
Last edited by TheStoicTraveler89 on Fri Feb 12, 2010 1:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Ridentem dicere verum quid vetat
"What prevents me from speaking the truth with a smile?"
-Horace(Satires)

“Stop talking about what the good person should be, and just be that person.”
-Marcus Aurelius




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Not that bad a poem, I quite liked the description in it especially at the start. Just going to point out now a few things Id have changed or think would have made it work better. First the word 'pummeling' I personally dont think that it works where it is, that it belongs especially with all the other words you were using. I would replace it with suffocating or something similar to that.

"The torrent sways of falling and rising with such duplicity" I would take the 'of' there out and replace it with a comma.

"Yet for all the chaos the surrounds and encompasses Serenity takes hold of me" I would also change 'the' to 'that'

"Nothing cannot harm The Soul At peace" I wouldnt have used 'cannot' I would have said 'can' instead

And there we have it :) Hope that didnt annoy you too much and helped
The opposite of courage is not cowardice but conformity

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The best and most beautiful things in the world can not be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.
— Helen Keller