The Flow

Hi everyone! This is my first poem, and first post. I'm more of a chemistry major than man of English, but I thought I'd give it a try. Nice to meet all of you,

C


The Flow

Let me tell you about the Flow!
It goes and goes and goes and goes!
Ride the tidal wave of life!
Love the triumphs, embrace the strife.
Walk with purpose because you know,
It goes and goes and goes and goes!
It goes it goes then hits a wall!
Be mindful and traverse this stall!
Be yourself and be aware!
Create your world from all that's there!

Inhale deeply, jump in the pool!
Exhale and break the cardinal rule!
Sink and sit upon the floor!
Meet the Flow; you’re at its door!
The Flow you see, it flows from you!
This space, this time, you warrant true!
Rubix cube Infinity!
This moment’s yours, they all could be!
Applaud yourself, you’re finally there!
But, alas you still need air!

At this interface of mind and matter,
Instinct makes you choose the latter!
You kick your feet against the ground!
Still mortal, yet you’re surface bound!
Now breathe it in for the first time!
A world with Flow, uniquely MINE!
Yes I switched from you to me!
This world is MINE, I hope you see!
It’s in this realm I live my dreams!
Boundlessly, and with no seams!

I LOVE this poem. What else can I say? I can't find anything to suggest, and so being this isn't technically the best of the reviews, because the best are ones that rip poems and stories apart and leave nothing left- or so I'm told ^_^

This poem reminds me of yoga. Welcome to YWS! Keep writing!

~Mel

Hola!

Hmm... What can I say about this? I'm not quite sure what the poem was supposed to be about, but it might just be me. I did like how you rhymed along the way. It was, for the most part, smooth and natural, whereas some poems tend to be very corny and forced with the rhyme. Good job!

Actually, now that I think about it, your style reminds me of Dr. Seuss! It's very lighthearted and whimsical, which I enjoy. The only negative side-effect of that would be the excess of exclamation marks you use. Almost every line has one, and it gets a bit tedious and painful to look at. I'd watch out for that in the future; try and use them only where you absolutely have to.

Inhale deeply, jump in the pool!
Exhale and break the cardinal rule!

Based on this part, I think your poem is about embracing... life? That's just the impression I got from it. Again, I can't say for certain what you were trying to say here; it's a little vague for me. Maybe it was the title, because what in the world is the Flow? Not in a bad way, just a confusing way. Anyways, I think there's something off here, and if you find it and fix it, you'll be set!

If you have any questions about it or wold like another review, please don't hesitate to ask me!

-Knightley