Chapter 1
It was raining. Kaylin was sitting on her bed crying. Earlier that day she had seen her boyfriend Alex making out with some other girl.
“How could he do this to me?” she asked herself. “What the hell did I do wrong?” She absentmindedly reached up and started playing with the locket Alex had given her for Christmas.
Just then her phone started vibrating. It was a text from Alex. Imagine that, she thought rolling her eyes before reading the message.
The message read, hey kaylin where were u this afternoon I missed u.
She replied, I went home…why do u care?
A few minutes later another text came in. This one said, wat the hell is ur problem?
He was really starting to piss her off. She angrily texted him back saying, ur my problem! u r such an asshole! how can u just sit there and pretend nothings wrong?! pretend like u didn’t do anything?! She threw her phone on the bed and grabbed her pajamas and went to get a shower.
When she came out a little while later, she felt much more calm and relaxed. When she got back to her room, she saw that Alex had replied. It said, wat the hell did I do? She sighed before typing a reply. oh gee idk…I saw u making out w/ that one chick earlier?
Kaylin grabbed a blanket and went over to the window seat. She curled up under the blanket and watched the rain. She sat there for awhile thinking about what she should do and running her fingers through her shoulder length brown hair as it was drying.
When Alex finally replied, the text read, idk wat ur talking about I wasn’t making out with some other chick ur seeing things.
He was starting to piss her off again, so she replied with, watever…I saw u…and no I was not seeing things…I cant believe u…sry alex but im done…its over…have a nice life…bye…
She got up and went to brush her teeth. She was crying again. She looked at herself in the mirror, watching as the tears leaked from her almond-shaped brown eyes, and she said to herself, “He is such an ass. Why the hell am I crying? He doesn’t deserve my tears.” She angrily started wiping at the tears and grabbed her toothbrush and brushed her teeth.
As soon as she was done with that, she brushed her hair so it could finish drying and went back to her room to try to sleep.
Before she got into bed, she checked her phone. There was a new message from Alex. It said, kaylin…baby plz im sry it wont happen again I swear plz don’t do this.
She didn’t even bother replying. She just put her phone on the charger and crawled into bed.
Kaylin was just lying in bed listening to the rain. She couldn’t sleep. Her mind was racing with thoughts of Alex. She still couldn’t believe he would do that to her. Eventually she fell asleep. The next thing she knew, it was daylight.
When she looked at her clock, she saw it was 1:30 in the afternoon. “Aw shit,” she groaned as she stretched and rolled out of bed. It was Saturday. Her mom was at work and wouldn’t be home for several hours.
Kaylin decided she needed to get out of the house. She turned her radio on and began getting dressed. She put on a tight pair of jeans, a green cami, and a black hoodie. She was wearing her converse, black high tops of course, and a silver peace sign necklace. Her make up consisted of black eyeliner and mascara. Her class ring also had a peace sign on it.
After she was dressed, she went downstairs and grabbed a quick bite to eat, and then she ran upstairs to brush her teeth and straighten her hair before going outside.
She could have driven around town. She was sixteen, and she had a car and her license. But she decided that she’d rather walk.
For awhile she just wandered aimlessly until she came to the park. Kaylin went over and sat on one of the swings. She didn’t notice a group of three guys watching her.
It was late afternoon, and Kaylin was completely oblivious to everything. She didn’t notice the three guys get up and start walking towards her. She only looked up when she heard one of the guys laugh and say, “Yeah, man, she’s cute.”
Another of the guys smiled and said, “Yeah, Shane is gonna be thrilled.” They all looked older than her, about mid-twenties. She warily watched them approach. Two of them were blonde, and the third was brunette. One of the blondes had blue eyes, and the other one had hazel eyes with a green tint.
When they were only a few feet away, the blue-eyed blonde leaned against a the swing set and smiled lazily at her before saying, “Well, look what we’ve got here.” Then to the other two, he said, “She’s really cute.” The other two laughed and moved a little closer.
The second blonde winked and made kissing noises at her before saying, “What are you doing out here all alone, angel face?”
Kaylin didn’t say anything. She just glared at the blonde with the hazel-green eyes; the one that had called her “angel face”. She didn’t notice the brunette coming around behind her.
“Man, if looks could kill, you’d be dead ten times over,” the blue-eyed blonde said.
Then she felt someone behind her playing with her hair. Startled, she jumped up and spun around. It was the brunette, and he was smiling in a way she really didn’t like. “What do you want?” she asked coldly.
“What do you want?” mocked the hazel-eyed blonde.
“Whatever,” Kaylin said and turned to walk off.
“Woah,” said the blue-eyed blonde stepping in front of her. “Where are you going?”
“Home. So get the hell out of my way,” Kaylin snapped and tried to shove past him.
He shoved her back and said, “You might wanna be a little nicer to me.”
“Screw you, asshole,” she said hotly and turned around to go the other way, but the brunette stepped in front of her this time.
“That’s not very nice, you know,” he said with a mocking smile.
She didn’t even see him move, but the next thing she knew, he had her upper arm in a tight grip. “Ow,” she gasped. “Let go! That freaking hurts!” she exclaimed as she tried to pull away. He only tightened his grip. “Dude, I said let go,” Kaylin said and kept trying to yank her arm away. He let go suddenly, and she fell backwards, right into the blue-eyed blonde.
He caught her easily and leaned down close to her ear and whispered, “My name is Ian, bitch. Not asshole.” He threw her roughly to the ground, and her head hit the metal pole of the swing set. The last thing she saw before everything went black was the three guys walking towards her. Then she passed out.
so, in the very beginning of your story, you are primarily telling and not showing. We all know the average English teacher monologue- so follow it!! (Show, don't tell)
once you get past all of that, the suspenseful part is pretty epic.