Wonder

To be first seen bright in light,
my sun, no; but a star born asunder.
What you are I wonder?
Continuity begs you are a wonder.

Must you hold a heart,
I know not the form.
Expression in pieces.
Worn and torn asunder,
make up my blunder.
Forsake the uniqueness of its wonder.

The ardor of a mans heart,
cries when it cannot tend.
Dies when it cannot mend.
Revives when...
Strives when...
A love can finally apprehend!

<3
I looove this, it's my fave of everything you've done, must better than the excuse for poetry i just posted.
I like it so much i have no criticism to make (which is very very very rare!!!)
the second verse reminds me of Towne's "And always, always, always I was love.
I tore asunder flimsy doors of time,"
Is there any reason it's "what you are" rather than "what are you"?
ANd you have asunder twice once as born and once as torn, is it intentional? Can you be born asunder (it means into pieces).
xxx Velvet

Valentine

I am sad to say that I have no idea what this means. It was written well, flowed, and rhymed, what is was very confusing. There is a line between flowery poetry style writing and confusing writing. Hopefully you are not angry, thinking that I'm stupid because I don't understand it. I know what the words mean, they don't make sense. Sorry.

Valentine

Thanks for the comments!
All well received and no hard feelings about anything, if you understand it great. I am glad you liked it Velvet. If you don't understand it that's okay too. I would hope though that you would fit in your own interpretation and make it a good read of its own.

Yeah I used asunder twice on purpose.
Because a lot of words have different meanings but asunder essentially only means Apart, or in pieces.
So to be born asunder means, to be born apart.
I use star as a metaphor though... and its literal meanings, its all on how you interpret it! Essentially I was thinking star as in a love. Two people born in different areas different times. I use it with torn because it than represents the other use of asunder, and puts it in reference to the heart, and emotions, feelings. Looking at the Sun, a star, a love has to be associated with feelings, ext.
I put What you are I wonder, because not only is it an anagrammatical sentence to the famous song twinkle twinkle... a star born asunder/are I wonder flow as one.

Ah yes, star-crossed you mean!
x
ps well I prefer yours but Valentine prefers mine probably because it's in your face rather than carefully worded :p

Yes, thats a better way of saying it Velvet! Thank you.

What is "star-crossed" or "carefully-worded"?!
Cause flowery is a bit girly :p
God I'm bored please don't abandon me!
pps have I mentioned how much I looove this poem?!
Oh yeah, I have...
Okaay, crazy mood coming up ...

Haha!
I have class so you're on your own. I'm happy you enjoy it.... truly

And I need to catch up on my reviews so maybe I'll hit up one of your works later

Revenge will be sweet and ugg american spelling i cannot stomach x

I love the poem. It's very expressive, and much better than any that I will post. I love the word choice as well. Already I am evaluating my own writing to see if I can use better words like asunder. Great Job.

Hello! This is quite interesting, and it's open to interpretation, which I like. The use of wonder sounds a bit repetitive in the first stanza and I don't like the use of ellipses in the last stanza (or ever, in any poetry ) but it ends in a very upbeat way, so that's great. Good work.