Christmas

It was a Christmas day in 1998
I'm not a hundred percent sure about the date
The stockings were hanged on that white Christmas day
And the good and the naughty were just bound to pay
But Johnny James was quite wide awake;
He had once sworn he would make the most perfect Christmas cake,
So he had a goal and he went on straight ahead
Instead of being a good little boy and just going to bed.

Watching out with goggles through the frosty glass
Staring at the grey dull grass
Merry Maintain was falling asleep
Holding onto this dream that through all these years she'd tried to keep;
That Santa was real, mind you that
So she snuck and she hid as nimble as a cat
He would come, she was sure
It was that time of year- the snow white and pure,
But all around were now stories that shocked little Merry
Some said Santa didn't exist which was plain scary
So, she thought, it would just be best
If she could make a tiny little test
She didn't doubt Santa, no, not at all,
Yet still, she stood there, leaning on the wall.

In the meantime, our Johnny now was in really quite the pinch
The white flower he'd looked for was a little out of reach
So he took a chair and he stretched his little arms
He tried, from pinkie to thumb
But then he really was in trouble –
The chair he was standing on was beginning to wobble!
Johnny stepped down from the chair
It was just so unfair
That was what he thought
And he was unhappy, really a whole lot
So he went out to the yard, to just get some air

Right at the point where Merry tried to stare
And they looked at each other for one single second
Then Johnny beckoned,
"Come here, come here" he said as he waved
And Merry, what can you say, she just caved.
She put on her slippers and walked to the street
Right at the point that the two would meet
"Is Santa real?" she asked the strange lad
And Johnny nodded and said "just a tad,
In our dreams, he is real
So even if he's not, that's just how I feel."

And Merry nodded, said "I understand"
And kicked some of the snow that covered the land
"And you?" she asked, "Why are you here?"
And little Johnny's eyes welled up with tears
"The perfect Christmas cake," he said with a sigh
"That's all?" was Merry's reply
"It no laughing matter, nor is it a joke," responded the boy
"It's not unimportant like presents or a toy
I really wan this, really I do."
So merry nodded and said, "fine, then I'll help too."

She brought flower from her house and he brought the sweets
And they cut up some lattice and fruit and some beets
What came out looked horribly bad
But Johnny was such a nice lad
That he smiled and said "thanks a great deal
It might not be perfect but that's what I feel"
And he did feel that way, as a matter of fact
And Merry smiled, knowing she had her dreams intact
And it was all thanks to him, it really was true
So she just smiled and said "me too"

And that's my plain story of Christmas day, 1998
Still
I'm not very sure about the date.

This is a very interesting poem. I don't often find poems in such a story form on YWS, so it makes a nice change. When I first read it, I thought the first two lines were a little pointless, but when you repeated it at the end, I realised that what you might be trying to say is that you can't remember less important things such as what year it was, but it doesn't matter because you remembered every other detail you talked about in your poem. I found it slightly contradictory though, when you said "Staring at the grey dull grass", and then you said "It was that time of year- the snow white and pure". So if there is snow about, surely the snow is on the grass, so you won't be able to stare at the grass, you'd be staring at the snow, and it wouldn't be grey really, it would be lighter? Your rhyming is pretty good, if slightly forced at times, but in the third stanza, there are lines that don't rhyme at all, and it doesn't fit with the rhyming scheme of the poem, so perhaps a little tweaking is in order. Well-written apart from that though, I enjoyed it.

Hello!

I really liked this, it's not often that you see poems that go into so much detail about everything. I liked your description and you clearly put all your own thought and feelings into it. I, like Matt, at first thought that the first two lines were pointless but then realised that you had a purpose for them when you repeated them at the end. Overall it was a job well done!

Keep Writing
~Lydia

(Dancing Pink Elephant ---> )