Inheritance

Getting around
To the things
That one is
Supposed to do
Is getting harder
And harder.

Filling the shoes
Of our fathers
And their fathers
Only makes me feel
Farther
And farther.

It is true,
I am ruining their world,
Or at the very least,
Watching it decay
And not doing a thing
To stop the wreckers.

Somewhere along the line,
The inheritance
Was horribly,
Utterly misconstrued
And the vast fortune
Is now but a handful.

We lights of the world
Have dimmed the ambiance,
Have covered the aroma
Of our sweet world
With our own scent
And lighting.

There are many shades
Of gray,
Aye,
But we are getting closer
And closer
To darkness.

Hello Scott

Welcome to YWS!
I liked your poem, it was very original and cleverly written. I actually couldn't find anything to nit-pick with this so that is great! On thing I will say was that at times the rhythm seemed to be a little strange in this, try reading it aloud and then you might see what I mean. But this could just be me

Anyways, Well Done
Keep Writing
~Lydia

You have a brain, and I'm not into handing out attagirls, so I'm not going to go easy on you, newbie. You have some decent ideas in here, but it lacks pugnacity. It is stark and sparse, which works to its favour, but the imagery has lost integrity through the use of mixed metaphors, for example:

"Watching it decay
And not doing a thing
To stop the wreckers"

The image is split, decay and demolition, one passive, one active, so neither one really grabs you. A poem must be the distilled essence of human experience, you have to have greater impact than a novel with a fraction of the words, the clarity of metaphors is imperative. "Misconstrued" is a good word, too, but not if you're going for body-blow impact, particularly if you're trying to make the adjectives do the work for you, "horribly,/Utterly" . You used the farther/father word play, so you're aware of sonics, you've read the poem aloud, use it to your advantage, the sounds of it.

"We lights of the world
Have dimmed the ambiance,
Have covered the aroma
Of our sweet world
With our own scent
And lighting."

Again, the imagery is a little convoluted, and while covered with pretty words. The lights dimming the- wow, ambiance is a very curious word choice to, dimming is visual, ambiance is, if anything, auditory. As an intentional decision it's very interesting, and something to develop further. So it is lights dimming atmosphere and smell, and substituting it with the light's lighting and smell. Well sure, if that's what you're going for, but, stark as it is, that's such an unexpected analogy, you may need to ground it with more specific description.

"There are many shades
Of gray,
Aye,
But we are getting closer
And closer
To darkness."

I can see the ideas of the world's disintegration as a series of compromises, do you want this to be the overriding premise of the poem?

Anyway, t'was all in good fun, good work. Interested to see how your style progresses.

Hello! I really like this. The first stanza sounds a little disjointed because the lines are so short. However, none of the other stanzas have this problem and in the second and last stanzas, the combination of longer and short lines works really well. I especially like the second stanza, with the repetition of the similar words. I love the last two stanzas as well. I'm not sure about "And not doing a thing / To stop the wreckers" in the third stanza. I think you could say that in perhaps a more concise or interesting way. Apart from that, I really like this. Good job.