Warning: What happens in this book is not real, so please don't go out giving personal information about yourself to random strangers you meet in chat rooms. This is fiction so don't make it a reality.
Life. It was dull for someone like Tom. It’s not as if he didn’t have friends, because he had plenty. They just didn’t seem to have too much in common. Their words were empty to him, their subjects unoriginal. Girls? They seemed strange to him, sure they were beautiful, but he couldn’t understand them. None of the girls he actually talked to seemed like his type.
He sat in the back in his classroom. It was English. His teacher never paid attention to the class; he talked out in space about irrelevant subjects. Tom always wrote stories during this period; he taught himself the lessons at home. His friends murmured around him right now. He ignored them until Justin, one of his closer friends, threw a wad of paper at him. “What?” he said annoyed.
“Make an account for the chat room,” he said.
“What chat room?” Tom asked, he had zoned them out before, he was writing.
“Here,” Justin said, he handed him half of a sheet of notebook paper. There was a website scribbled on it. “You should go on. It’s really neat.”
“Why?” Tom asked.
“Dude, half of the school goes on,” Justin said.
***
Stella:
I was bored. I wasn’t in the mood to draw at all, so I went to the chat room like I always did. I never really talked to anyone, but I liked to read their conversations. They were interesting. I had memorized most of regulars. There was a new character tonight though, one I was pretty sure I’d never seen before. It didn’t talk at all, I felt bad for it. That person must feel so alone, maybe their clique isn’t here right now.
Hello Wolfman19. I typed. Seconds later a little bubble with words appeared.
Hi, it said, have you seen anyone by the name of sk8r, robster, or nikeboy?
Friends ditched you? I typed, They come on at nine.
I didn’t know what to say after that. It was 8:33; he had thirty minutes with nothingness.
Whatcha doing right now, he asked.
Nothing much, I was going to draw, but I wasn’t in the mood. I replied. What about you?
I was going to type out what I wrote today. I’m a writer, he said.
That was how our conversation went. We talked about the book he was writing and my art. He wanted to see one of my pieces of artwork and I told him, I’d email him a picture if he sent me some of his writing. We decided to go to one of the rooms no one ever went to to give each other our email addresses. I gave him my spam email. I didn’t know this guy. He promised to send me the first chapter of his book the next day. He said he still had to edit some of it.
***
Tom:
So I made an account and it turns out people these days tend to break their promises. My friends never showed up. I talked to this girl though. She was interesting. She does art. I promised to send her the first chapter of my book the next day.
***
It was morning. Tom hated school in the mornings. He was always tired. There was only one advantage, that was the time he and Justin usually talked.
“You lied,” Tom said.
“I know. My mom wouldn’t let me go on last night.” Justin spun his locker dial.
Tom spun his locker dial too. 49-32-51. He took his books and binders from his backpack and shoved them in his locker.
***
Stella:
I had something to look forward to for once. My classes seemed interminable, but when did the day ever go by quickly? Art even seemed a drag to me today. I shared my pastels with this new kid.
***
Tom:
I couldn’t concentrate. The words slurred as I read through the different articles people had written. Sure it was a honor to be the school’s newspaper editor when I was only a Junior, but sometimes my mind wandered. No one really read the newspaper in the first place.
***
Stella:
When I got home, I sat on my bed staring at my laptop every now and then as I did my homework. It wasn’t too difficult. I drew after, still staring at the laptop every now and then. I wondered if I could use telepathy to will wolfman19 to send me an email or go into the chat room. I ate dinner at seven; I still hadn’t seen him yet. I didn’t talk much to my parents. They were used to that. My two siblings had already grown up and gone off to college. My oldest sister was already engaged, so they were busy enough making plans.
***
Tom:
I wanted to email her or talk to her really badly, but I had to study for 2 tests. It was 8:30 when I finished. I ate some microwavable food after. My parents had already eaten. I went to the computer in the family room. After some quick editing, I attached the file to my message and sent it to her. Then, I went to the chat room, my friends again, were not there.
Hi, I typed, sorry about not sending the chapter 1 to you right after school. I had to study for a couple of tests.
It’s okay. She wrote back. I’ll go check my email right now. I can’t wait to read it. It sounded really cool.
Don’t forget to send the art! I typed.
Kk, she replied.
I clicked the window my email was opened at. After a few minutes, there was a new message, so I clicked on it.
There was a picture a sketch of a bird. I guess she really liked nature, because her username was treehugger108.
***
Stella:
He finally showed up at 8:46, I was annoyed. He sent me the first chapter to his book. I liked it. It was about werewolves. I started working on a painting. I decided I wanted to draw a picture of a wolf for him. I’m going to bring it to art and paint it after I finish the sketch. I started thinking about snow after I read his story. So I wrote a haiku: Cold blanket of snow, covers the green earth below, melts as spring arrives.
***
This is how three weeks passed for Stella and Tom. They would talk to each other in the chat room each day and send each other emails every few days of writing or art the two did. It wasn’t always Tom who sent the written work or Stella who sent the art.
***
Tom:
I had a dream last night. It might sound pretty lame, but I was on the computer and treehugger108 typed, “I love you.” It was strange, but after that, I started liking her, really liking her. It was so peculiar, because she’s just a voice in my head in a way. I told Justin about the dream and he told me that I was crazy. I don’t even know if she’s in high school or not.
***
Stella:
I finally finished the painting. It had taken a few days for it to dry, but now it was completely dry, thanks to the three class periods I had stood there blow drying it. It hadn’t taken me long to sketch the wolves, just a long time to paint them after I redrew them on a canvas. I liked oil painting. I loved the strange odor the paint gave off; it was like the smell of art to me. It had originally been a sketch of one wolf, but as wolfman19 sent me more chapters, I learned that there were a total of nineteen wolves. Twelve were werewolves while seven were humans who had been changed into actual wolves by the werewolves. The art was the best I had ever done in my life. My teacher, Ms. Swain, really liked it too. She said she would make a photocopy of it and hang it up in the hallway. I wasn’t allowed to take it home though; we were having an open house a few months from now in January where it would be displayed. I’m going to bring a flash drive tomorrow and scan the painting in the teacher’s lounge.
***
Tom:
Treehugger108 has been obsessing my mind for a while now. She seems like some sort of magical being that belongs in a fairytale. She’s one of those people who seem too good to be real at all. She told me she had a surprise for me tomorrow, now it’s going to be even harder for me to concentrate in my classes.
***
Stella:
I brought the flash drive to school and scanned the picture. The new kid, Von, talked to me. I’d never really talked to him since the day I let him use my pastels. He told me my art was really good and that maybe we could do some art together sometime. I told him that I don’t really draw or do art with other people, but maybe we could try. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. He’s already been here for a couple of months, but he still hasn’t joined any groups. He stares at me sometimes when I do my art and in some of the other classes we have together. It’s kind of creepy, but it’s not so bad. He’s kind of cute and I probably wouldn’t have minded if I wasn’t thinking about wolfman19 and our conversations all the time.
***
Tom:
After what Justin said yesterday, I knew I had to ask treehugger108 if she was in high school. It might help me to stop obsessing over her if I knew she was older, but then again, maybe not. If she was in college, I might end up being one of those cougar guys. I never respected people like that, but it was different in my situation. I write songs about her now, that’s how insane about her I’ve become. Normal people don’t write two lyrics for songs each class period. I even started learning the guitar a bit. My dad has an old guitar and some chord books, so I’m teaching myself now. Soon, I’ll be able to write chords to the songs. That ought to be strange. I shouldn’t even be writing lyrics in the first place, but I can’t stop. Words just flow out of nowhere. I’m not sure if I should send some of these poems or lyrics or whatever to her though. It would be kind of weird for a random guy you met in a chat room to write songs about you even though you’ve never met.
***
Stella:
I was so excited after school. After my mom drove me home, I ran into my room and plugged my flash drive into my laptop. I looked at the painting. It was not as good as the original, but still amazing. I really wanted my mom and dad to see the picture too. I’d told her about how I was painting a picture of some wolves and how it was my best work yet. I wrote the email I was going to send to wolfman19 and saved it in drafts. Then, I doodled a little bit, because I didn’t have any homework tonight for once. Subconsciously, I drew hands interlocked with one another. I had also drawn a heart with the words, “treehugger108 & wolfman19 forever.” It kind of scared me; I hadn’t felt any feelings until now. I seemed to feel everything I hadn’t before and things I didn’t think I could feel.
***
Tom:
I did my homework. I had to write a history report, so I went on the computer. I wanted to know the surprise so badly. I felt a little bit guilty when I went into the chat room after only writing one paragraph. I was in a different one than the ones my friends were in though, because it was the one treehugger108 was in.
Hi, I typed, can I see it now?
Close your eyes. She typed.
What’s the point? I asked, You wouldn’t know if I was peeking anyways.
I have telepathic powers. She wrote.
Lol, I wrote back, how long should I shut my eyes?
Spell each number out loud until you reach thirty. She wrote.
>:( that’s going to take a long time, I typed. Then, I closed my eyes. “O-n-e, t-w-o…” My mother tapped me on the shoulder at sixteen.
“Tom, what are you doing?” she asked.
“Spelling numbers up to thirty,” I replied with my eyes still shut.
“Just make sure you shut up soon, okay? I have a client coming over soon.” My mother was a lawyer; she often brought clients to our home.
I finished spelling up to thirty. Then I opened my eyes. Treehugger108 hadn’t typed anything yet.
I finished, I typed.
You spell really slow for a writer. She wrote.
Lol, I typed, my mom interrupted and told me to shut up. So where’s my surprise?
Look in you inbox. She wrote.
I logged onto my email. There was a new message. I clicked on it.
***
Stella:
Wolfman19 thought I had found a picture on the internet for me at first. When I told him I had painted the picture he was like: “…” then “Wow, you’re really talented and of course I’ll use it as my cover. Where else would I find a better cover?” He also asked me how old I was. I told him fourteen, I don’t turn fifteen until February. He told me he was sixteen. It’s really not that bad of an age difference, but I don’t know who he is or where he lives.
***
Tom:
Why did she have to be so irresistible, yet unreachable? It’s beautiful and terrible all at the same time. I know Justin would probably laugh at me when I told him about what happened. He’s been really interested in what happens with this “online girl”.
***
Stella:
My mom’s worried. She told me that I was spending way too much time online. She was cleaning my room a bit today and found my doodle. She told me, “Stella, I trust you. I know it might be hard, but you have to stop talking to this boy online. It’s too dangerous. You don’t know who he really is. Anyone can be who they want to be online. I think it’s only fair that I give you three weeks to get over him completely.” The sad part is I know she’s right. I really shouldn’t be talking to him. I knew that even though it wasn’t the right thing to do, I would tell him that I loved him because after three weeks, I’d never be able to speak with wolfman19 again.
***
Tom:
I made a decision today. I was going to email her some of the lyrics and poems I wrote about her. I just couldn’t stand not sharing them with anyone anymore. I wouldn’t tell her that it was written about her and for her because if she was really someone as special as I believed her to be, she’d figure it out.
***
Stella:
What is someone supposed to do when they know that what they’ve desired has been given even if what they desire may not be good for them at all? I have a problem. Wolfman19 told me he loved me. He wasn’t supposed to say that. He should of said “Sorry, I don’t feel the same way as you do.” He was supposed to crush my dreams so I could stop running back to him like he’s air to me. I told him I loved him too though. What else was I supposed to say? I didn’t say it directly though, I wrote a poem back to him.
***
Tom:
She’s even more special than I originally imagined. She wrote a poem back. A normal person would probably have just written “I love you too.” I know it may be kind of early for me to think about this kind of stuff, but I believe that she might be my soul mate if there ever was such a thing. The poem she wrote went something like this: “Letters I write but then discard, for nothing can describe the way you are, like the air I need to breathe, you are water to my soul if it were a seed, though I don’t know who you are, you mean everything to me, I may not have known, right from the start, but now I know what you are to me, sometimes it’s hard because it feels as if you were so afar, when you’re right in front of me, I want to see your face and to hold your hand, maybe we’ll be together some day, if only that day were today.” I was so beautiful. It might have even been a little better than mine. Then something even more wonderful happened, if that was even possible, we typed “I love you” at the same exact time in the chat room. It was something that didn’t belong in reality; it was more like something that generally only happens to actors in Hollywood when they are filming a movie. They’re scripted too.
***
When Tom told Justin about how his heart belonged to the “online girl”, Justin almost took him to the guidance counselor. Then only thing that held him back was the fact that the guidance counselor was such a creep. “It was an interesting story,” Justin had told him. “You’re really quite the writer.”
“It’s not a story Justin, it’s real, she’s real,” Tom had replied.
“Tom, dude, there’s really no point in talking to her, you’ll never meet her anyways.”
Three weeks passed as if they were seconds. Love often made people lose track of time. There were so many letters and poems that had been written. Chapters and art had been scarcely sent. All Justin heard about from Tom was the online girl, but when they were with their clique, it was as if she never existed. Justin never said a word about her. He knew that Tom trusted him with this and that the other guys would make fun of him. He told Tom, “You should make another book with all your letters. It’d be really cool. I bet a lot of girls would buy it.”
***
Stella:
I finally drew something with that new kid, Von. We did some art together in school. It was fun I guess. I couldn’t stop staring at his scars though. They had to be cut within the past few weeks because they weren’t there in October. The picture turned out to look quite morbid. It was the day I was to stop talking to wolfman19, completely.
***
Tom:
I couldn’t wait to go home and tell treehugger108 about Justin’s idea. It was intriguing to think about it. Maybe if we published the letters, we’d be able to possibly meet each other. If the book were to ever get an award, we might be able to meet each other. We could go together.
***
Tears slid down Stella’s flushed cheeks as her slender fingers typed the words, I have a confession to make. I lied to you all this time. I’m really 65. I’m old enough to be your grandmother. She forced herself to write these words. She forced herself to give up all her hopes and dreams. She loved him, but did not know him. She had felt a connection with him unlike any other she ever experienced in her whole life, not at school, not at home, not anywhere, but she only knew him through a screen, through her computer screen.
The words appeared in a bubble in the chat room she was in. No. I don’t believe it. You have to be real, treehugger108. You just have to be. The girl wiped the tears off her face before continuing typing.
It’s best this way wolfman19. It’s not as if we could have really been together anyways.
The girl stared at the screen waiting for him to respond, for the words that could only be that of her soul mate appear. He could be a predator she thought.
But what about all the letters we wrote to each other, all the poems and lyrics. Did they really mean nothing to you? Was this all some sort of game? I know you really love me though, you wouldn’t have told me you lied to me if you didn’t. I know these words may seem meaningless, but I love you treehugger108, even if we’ve only known each other through words.
It took all of her will to close the laptop. It’s for what’s best, Stella thought. I can’t go on in life loving someone who might not even be real. It was great, but the time was up for this, for all of it.
***
Tom:
Offline, the words pierced into Tom’s heart like a spear. He grabbed his hair. Maybe she really was 65 years old. He thought. Maybe I really was a fool to believe that we had something special. Maybe all the letters meant nothing, just like all the conversations we had in the lounge. He stared at the screen blankly. I’ll probably never get to chat with her again or even get email replies. Justin was right when he told me there was no point in even talking to her; she was like a fictional character I created. I never got to even tell her about Justin’s idea, or finish sending her all the chapters. We just fit so well together.
It seems like it only works as a sort story. Is he not going to give up? Is he going to try and find her? That's a bit creepy kinda, but also kinda cute. 
.
