“Penny, where have you been?” my mother spat. Any other teenage might have given her a sarcastic remark, but I loved her so much that I was unable to do anything but treat her with kindness.
I moved my hands in beautiful motions, explaining to her that I was walking David home.
“Oh, David,” she said in a happily. “I like him.”
I know, you have told me that a million times since we first started dating two years ago, I said.
“Well, maybe I would remember if you ever brought him here!” She took the dish towel from her shoulder and shoved it in my direction. I started to dry the dishes she had cleaned.
We started scrubbing all of last night’s dinner dishes. We had filet mignon with a sweet blue cheese dressing and a side of mashed potatoes. Well, not really we. I had to have a special shake because I couldn’t swallow chunks of food. So I sat there watching my mother scarf down a delicious meal while I sipped my cream coloured nightmare.
After an intense amount of sighs from both of us, my mother spoke. “I think that you two should... take a break.”
What? My eyes were open wide, my lips were pressed together, and I could swear steam was pouring from my red ears.
Mother stepped back, not out of fear; she just didn’t want to be close when I exploded. “I just think you aren’t getting enough out of the relationship. You need someone who you can talk to! It’s not like he can read your sign language.”
I shaped my hands in the angriest manner that I could. How could you say that? He is the best thing to ever happen to me!
“The best?” she raised an eyebrow.
Alright, second best, to you adopting me, I said.
“Aww, I love you,” she wrapped her large body around mine and laughed. I had made her happy, something I thought I would never be able to do when I first found out I would never talk again.
My phone buzzed through my pocket. I smiled, receiving a text was the only thing that made me feel like a normal teenager.
‘Hey, we need to talk. Can I come over?’ the text from my beloved read.
‘Yes,’ I replied with a smile on my face.
“So, what I was asking you before... I just feel like I’m not getting enough out of this. And I know you feel it too.”
His words seemed to juggle through my ears. I hated how I couldn’t scream at him and tell him how I really felt. Instead, I just sat there stunned.
“She says, ‘I don’t feel that way at all. You are the only person I have ever loved- except my mother, of course.’” My mother sighed. I hated how she had to translate my words for me.
She looked over to David’s mother, who had come too because he wouldn’t be able to find his way here alone.
I repositioned myself on my cream couch, staring at our blue walls, waiting for him to respond.
“I know... but I need more.” He looked straight ahead, his eyes and expression blank.
“’Now you are just being selfish,’” my mother read from my fingers.
“I’m sorry. Please forgive me. You are my only friend.”
Mother stood up when she noticed my tears, but I held her off.
“’I can’t just be your friend. It’s all or nothing.’”
David sighed, “Then I guess nothing.”
He stood, and so did his mother. She grabbed his hands, mouthed sorry to me and my mother, and walked out the front door.
I sat there for a minute, avoiding eye contact from my mother. I didn’t want to talk about it, but I knew she would.
“Hun...”
I looked at her, my vision foggy. I never knew I could be hurt so badly. All my insides felt like little ants crawling around, my hands felt cold and unusable, and I was shaking.
“I’m so sorry. I wish I could have seen this coming.”
I shook my head. She was the kindest person... and I was lucky to be chosen by her.
I know, my hands told her.
“I’ll get started on dinner.”
Can you make chilli? I asked. It was my favourite meal.
“Sure.” I loved her southern accent. It made me feel home.
I stood and walked out the front door. Part of me wanted to see if David was still in sight. The other side was a bit different. When I was little and alone in the orphanage, I would see doors differently than the other children. In fact, they called me crazy. Doors were not just a portal to a different room for me, but more like a portal to a different dimension; a place where you could start over, meet new people, see new things. I made them magical. I wanted to believe in magic so badly. My imagination was all I had.
So I would close my eyes as I crossed the threshold of a door. I would dream I was walking through a front door to a home with a fire place, a soft couch, and maybe a bedroom of my own.
This time, I imagined the door leading to some place where it could be my mother and I, just the two of us, and no one else. We could live in peace, and I might have been able to talk.
But, as I opened my eyes, I saw the same old street. The same light trees with the browning leaves, the same dying flowers, the same charcoal turf that led to David’s house.
When I was in the orphanage, I always thought once I belonged to a family, I would be happy, and nothing bad would happen; they would be my force field. I never thought that a boy would affect my heart. I never thought anyone would ever again, because being abandoned made me believe that no one wanted me, and no one ever would.
I walked and sat on the grass in my front yard. I looked up at the sky and tried to pick out shapes in the clouds. I felt like sleeping, closing my eyes and letting the tears rest for a moment. But just as I began to shut them, a loud noise interrupted my peace.
Sorry for the unsatisfying ending to this part... I still am not quite sure what is going to happen yet...
Also, if anyone has anything to say about the breakup, that would be great. I'm not good at breakups.
Sorry.Happily.)
