Bloody Love: Prologue

5 posts
User avatar
hippie_vampire
Gender Female
Points 3410
Reviews 18
Mon Jan 25, 2010 7:15 am
hippie_vampire says... · Mon Jan 25, 2010 7:15 am
Prologue

Love. It's a strange word, it can mean so many things to so many different people. The dictionary says: "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person." But love can't be defined just by these simple words, love is something so deep that the greatest poets have yet to write it's true meaning. "Every one deserves someone to love," is what I have heard people say countless times over my long existence. But even so I have never found love. And I really don't think I ever will.
Last edited by hippie_vampire on Mon Jan 25, 2010 9:08 pm, edited 2 times in total.
“There are many thing people have claimed can not be true and yet nearly all of them have ether been true to begin with or been made true by thous stubborn enough to ignore them.”-Scientist 666 from my 2009 NaNoWriMo novel.
Quote




Random avatar
lonewolf
Gender Female
Points 0
Reviews 5
Mon Jan 25, 2010 8:33 am
lonewolf says... · Mon Jan 25, 2010 8:33 am
hippie_vampire wrote:Pro-log

Love. It's a strange word, it can mean so many things to so many different people. The dictionary says: "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person." But love can't be defined just by these simple words, love is something so deep that the greatest poets have yet to write the true meaning of love. that is so true but i think it should be changed to ...poets have yet to write its true meaning... because you've used the word love too much in that sentence."Every one deserves someone to love," is what I have heard people say countless times over my long existence. But even so I have never found love. And I really don't think I ever will.

well done. i like it. at the end it displays the characters pesimism but i assume that in the story he/she gets proved wrong...? keep writing, it sounds interesting. i will look out for the first chapter :smt002
Quote




User avatar
forgottenfallen
Gender Female
Points 3355
Reviews 29
Mon Jan 25, 2010 1:41 pm
forgottenfallen says... · Mon Jan 25, 2010 1:41 pm
Hiya!

Pro-log


Just a quick point, easy mistake to make though :) 'Prologue'

I loved this prologue, I like the way you use the dictionary quote. Its really creative. You could expand this prologue by speaking more about the character a little, adding some creative diologue or flashbacks. A flashback in this prologue would make it a whole lot better than it already is :) How about explaining about other types of love as well (lust, infatuation)? Could be interesting.

Give me a shout when you post Chapter 1, or if you need help with anything :)

Forgotten x
He was just one of the forgotten fallen...one? Maybe the only. All he knew was that if anyone another angel had fallen someone would have come and helped them up.

Oh gosh Maths has never sounded so good : "Lexifer"
Quote




User avatar
writewannabe
Gender Female
Points 4360
Reviews 32
Mon Jan 25, 2010 9:25 pm
writewannabe says... · Mon Jan 25, 2010 9:25 pm
This is short and sweet. For a prologue, you do not have to have a lot in it, maybe a couple of paragraphs. What you have is excellent. I do not think that you need to add anything else to this. I did not find any mistakes and I noticed that you changed pro-log to prologue. Still I think pro-log had a nice ring to it too. Well I am off to read the chapters.
Quote




User avatar
hippie_vampire
Gender Female
Points 3410
Reviews 18
Mon Jan 25, 2010 9:32 pm
hippie_vampire says... · Mon Jan 25, 2010 9:32 pm
forgottenfallen wrote:Hiya!

Pro-log


Just a quick point, easy mistake to make though :) 'Prologue'

I loved this prologue, I like the way you use the dictionary quote. Its really creative. You could expand this prologue by speaking more about the character a little, adding some creative diologue or flashbacks. A flashback in this prologue would make it a whole lot better than it already is :) How about explaining about other types of love as well (lust, infatuation)? Could be interesting.

Give me a shout when you post Chapter 1, or if you need help with anything :)

Forgotten x


Yeah thanks for catching that I always forget what it's supposed to be :?
And yeah I normally do flashbacks for prologues but it seemed like this one just worked better as short and sweet. I did have a alternate version of this and I asked my sister which one she liked better and she said this one so that's just what I posted.
Thanks so much for the input!
“There are many thing people have claimed can not be true and yet nearly all of them have ether been true to begin with or been made true by thous stubborn enough to ignore them.”-Scientist 666 from my 2009 NaNoWriMo novel.
Quote

5 posts


Veni, vidi, scripsi ~ I came, I saw, I wrote
— steampowered