I love this! I'm pretty sure it's in a goth guy's perspective but maybe that's just me. I liked the sentence "Her words, though distant and faded call out to me", probably my favorite in the whole thing! Only a couple irks:
Were this girl, a sister, a friend, a girlfriend? (Because it could be any)
Are you going to follow-up on this?
It's a bit short for my taste..are you writing more? Is it a story or just a one-shot?
Anyway I really liked it and if you could PM me with the next part (if there is a next part) I'd appreciate it
~Jasmine Bells~ Peace, Love, Writing, Insanity and Chocolate
I am nothing but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's or maybe like pocket candy that's just a bit too sweet.
I really liked this. You didn't exactly say who 'she' was, but I'm guessing it's the character's mom? I don't know, maybe not, it's just what I pictures in my head as I was reading this. I just made my come back too, I haven't been on here since the old version of Y.W.S. But, welcome back!
-jordan(:
Well, yes mate. See, I’m dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It’s the honest ones you need to watch out for, because you never know when they’re going to do something incredibly..stupid. Jack Sparrow<3
I really like this. Am I right in thinking that its from a goth or emo perspective? But anyway, I couldn't really pick fault with it except that I wanted to read MORE!
Please write some more, I am intrigued to know who 'she' is. And your almost lyrical description is very easy to read.
um...well. this peice was very deep. It was a little obscure but in a good way. All stories need a little obscurity to make it interesting. I loved how you left out what happened to her because it really makes the reader wonder... like me.lol. but anyway, i think it was very short and sweet and to the point. i encourage you to keep writing and maybe leave a comment for my story sometime=]
"if you always say what if, you can never know what can..."
To all of you; I shall simple say this is a short story to be interpreted in any way.
Yes, it's from an emo person's perspective but it doesn't necessarily have to be guy. It's all in how you interpret it. ‘She’ could be anyone too. I wanted to leave it open for a free thinking person like yourselves to imagine what happened, and how or why.
I showed this to a friend of mind and she said to me, “I thought you were straight.” All I could do was laugh at her.
There are many scenarios that could be added to this but I’m afraid of bombing the wondering imaginations you guys have so it’ll stay short.
Thank you all very much for the loving support and sure I’ll come comment, Rox. Welcome back, Jordan.
We've all been broken in some way. It's just how we express it that makes us dffrent form eachother.
“This precious book of love, this unbound lover, To beautify him only lacks a cover.” ~William Shakespeare, The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet
seeing this tag and going "oh what's this? :)" then getting slapped in the face with shady's good grammar is the worst thing that's ever happened to me — SilverNight
