This is all I have of this story right now, and I take some time writing usually, but I plan to have more soon.
Jan. 15, 2010
12:04 PM
I squeezed the hot, thick flesh of Caroline Greene's neck until she stopped struggling and fell out of my grip to the floor. Then I dragged her by her armpits into one of the stalls, picked up my bookbag and left the bathroom.I kept walking until I left Green Valley High behind forever.
Jan. 15, 2010
2:37 PM
In the back seat, Elaina was screaming.
"YOU KIDNAPPED ME YOU POOPHEAD I'M GONNA TELL GRANDMA ON YOU UOU CAN'T TAKE ME AWAY YOU"RE A HORRIBLE SISTER I HATE YOU!"
She was unbuckled, standing up, bent over in the low car. I let her yell. My knuckles were white on the steering wheel.
Jan. 15, 2010
5:29 PM
I stood outside the stall in the huge rest-stop bathroom, listening to Elaina pee and making sure she didn't have any opportunity to run away while my back was turned. I thought about the sound of Caroline's head smacking against the white wall at school, and how some movement had set off the automatic paper towel dispenser nearby.
I spent four of my ten dollars on hamburgers for me and Elaina. Elaina didn't say a word until I yanked her abck to the car, and then she started yelling again.
THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
Sep. 3, 2007
7:53 AM
Grandma pulled out of the parking lot ever-so-slowly, her maroon hearse of a car holding up minivans and school busses galore. I watched her turn out onto Willow Lane and then bent down to Elaina's level. The little girl was weeping silently.
"Lainey," I whispered, and drew her into a hug. She clung to me like dead weight. "I know you're scared," I said. "But it'll be okay. I promise."
"You can't promise that!" Elaina yelled, suddenly not in the throes of silent fear and grief but violent anger. She whacked at my shoulders with limp fists, wet eyes piercing my skin. I knew what she meant. Daddy, the one person who could have said that promise and have it mean something, was gone.
God. I hated seeing her like that. I let her throw her tantrum, let her hit me, let her be stared at by all the little kids who would be her new classmates. The littlest ones were being led inside by their parents. "I'll take you to your classroom, okay?" I offered, and took her by her hand, resigning myself to being late for my own first day of high school, first day of public school. She wiped her eyes on the bottom of my T-shirt, sniffed a bit and followed me into the crush of children funnelling into the great ugly prison of an elementary school. Cinderblock walls, squeaky tile floors, fourescent lighting. After two years of sheltered private school bliss, could Elaina survive the change? After ten years, could ?
Jan. 15, 2010
11:43 PM
I had never driven on a highway at night before.
It was ghostly. Except for the mysterious clunks and bangs of Gram's old maroon hearse (which I had inherited after she moved on to a slightly newer Ford Tempo), the world was silent. The wide, black, empty road slipped away beneath us and the silhouetted trees shifted noiselessly against the grayish-black haze of the sky. Brown snow did not glisten in the meager moonlight.
I tried not to think about some silly freshman pushing thoughtlessly into the bathroom stall at school and discovering Caroline's body slumped on the toilet. I tried not to think about a rush of policemen strutting the hallways, one hand on their gun holsters, or interviewing the students in an empty classroom.
"I bet it was that weird girl," they'd say, pale faced and too shocked to cry at the death in their midst. "Yeah, the one who was always following Caroline around." "What was her name again?" "Sparrow, or something, wasn't it?" "Oh right, Sparrow." "Sparrow."
I kept driving.
11:51
11;59
12:00. January 16th.
Happy birthday to me.
