Secret - prologue + ch. 1

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I wrote this a while ago but now I'm continuing it. Alternative title is "Speaking is Beautiful". It's rather short. Thanks for reading! Every comment will be appreciated.
Prologue
Speaking is beautiful. The sounds that roll out, just by moving your mouth, pressing a secret trigger – I find these enchanting. Voices, too. They are so different; some are soft, others are loud, but they are all heard. Speaking is truly beautiful in my mind. Sometimes… I wish I could do it too.
But the day I will speak is the day heaven and earth will exchange their spots. I already know that. But still… I can't help wishing.
Chapter one
Cassie slammed her fist at the table. I shuddered in response. The worst was yet to come, that I knew. "She called me tasteless," she fumed.
I reached out for Evan's hands. He looked just as scared as me, his tan face a bit too pale. His brown eyes skipped from me to the exit door, implying we run away.
I jerked my head fiercely. No! I mouthed. I wanted to go. God, how I wanted to go. But Cassie was our friend. This meant something.
"I mean, tasteless!" Cassie stroked her dark bangs fretfully. "And she said I looked childish, too."
My chest felt tight as I saw the tears pooling in her grey eyes. With a quick tug at Evan's hand as a warning, I rushed forward, dragging him behind me. I waved uselessly around her with my free hand, and then tugged at Evan's again. He seemed to understand. He ran his free hand through his short light hair.
"I think Razhel is trying to tell you to not listen to her," he said uncertainly, sneaking a peek at me from the corner of his eyes. I nodded enthusiastically. I waved my hand further. I wasn't finished yet!
Cassie brushed away a few of her tears. "Yeah?" she asked feebly.
Evan sighed. "And that she's…" He looked at me questioningly. I put my finger near my head, twirling it around. He couldn't possibly misunderstand this. "Silly – no, stupid." He decided.
I frowned, but allowed it. I drew a heart my fingers, squeezing his hand, then pointed at myself. Dimly, I wondered if she would get the message without him really having to say it. Evan didn't like talking about this kind of stuff. I hoped he would, just this once.
Evan met my eyes, and we had a quiet duel for one moment. At last, he groaned. "And that we love you." He distorted the word on purpose, his lips set in an uncharacteristic grimace.
I sighed noiselessly. Good. Cassie seemed more at peace. She sniffled quietly. "Thanks, Razhel," she mumbled, wiping off the rest of her tears. A ghost of a smile was stretching her lips. "I guess she really is stupid, huh?" She laughed.
I nodded eagerly – I know, right?
Evan rolled his eyes. "C'mon," he groaned, "No girl talk before the movie, Razhel. You promised."
I smiled apologetically at him. Sorry, I mouthed.
Evan rubbed his high forehead. "'S okay," he muttered, averting his eyes. The color of his skin was back to its regular tone, though he was a bit red at the cheeks and neck. Thank goodness. I squeezed his hand one more time. "Yeah?" he asked, turning to look down at me. His face showed no hint of annoyance or impatience.
He was always so attentive. I owed him so much. My chest felt tight again at the fact that I couldn't tell him that. Instead, I wrapped both arms around him. I tried to say thanks but my lips were the only thing that moved. He didn't see them; I was hiding my face, turning my head the other direction. I didn't want to cry, but it was upsetting, and annoying, and I was angry with myself. I tried to blink the tears away.
I wanted to be able to say thank you with my own voice.
I could hear Cassie giggle softly, and I could hear Evan breathing quickly, and I could feel his heartbeat. It felt good, familiar. He rested his chin on my shoulder, bending down in order to do that. "You're welcome," he said awkwardly.
"if you were waiting for the opportune moment... that was it." - Captain Jack Sparrow




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Hey, Lee-Anna here!

Oh, my gosh, I loved this! I can't find anything to nit-pick :). I just have one question, though--how are you supposed to pronounce Razhel? I can think of a few ways to say it, and I was wondering if any of them are right. Oh, and I think it would be cool if you made the prologue, like, a note to the reader or something. It's just not long enough to be a prologue, in my opinion. Or, kinda of like The Mortal Instruments books have the sayings or poems before the different parts (I don't know if you've ever read them, but they're the only books I've read that do this), you could just put it right before the first chapter without calling it a prologue or anything.

Great job! :D Feel free to PM me if you post anymore.
Please forgive me if I over-edit anything of yours.




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Hello! I'm Lydia.


I have to say that I really liked this and that I like Lee-Anna couldn't find anything wrong with it so well done!
The only thing I found was that I wanted to know more Razhel's past, but I guess you will write more about that in further chapters. Please PM me if you write more as I would very much like to read it.

Keep up the good work :)
~Lydia
Thinking about what you COULD achieve will get you no where. You've got to chase your dreams.
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=188&t=92400 - Need a review?




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I really liked reading this!:) it was a good start to a good story! I kinda want to know some back up for why Razhel can't talk. Was she born like that? PM me when you have more up I want to read some more as it gets going! :)
"We rest-A dream has power to poison sleep;
We rise-One wandering thought pollutes the day;
We feel, conceive or reason, laugh or weep;
Embrace fond woe, or cast our cares away:"
(Mutability, Shelley)



By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.
— Genesis 3:19