This is for the Winter Romance contest and I need feedback! Thanks!
I took in a breath of cold air, it chilling my now minty breath. The gum that I had been chewing left my mouth minty and was now dry. I quickly spit it out in the trash and looked at my boyfriend, Rick.
I loved his hair, it was slightly spiky and dark brown. His tan skin seemed almost like I was on the beach in the middle of January. His eyes were a gentle brown that made my cheeks warm up whenever he looked at me. I felt I loved him, and my twelve year old heart seemed to leap at the thought.
He was nearly two years older than me, but yet, I was still taller than him. Though that didn’t matter much, I felt like I loved him. “Come here,” he replied and took my frozen hand.
We walked around the deserted playground and climbed up on top of the yellow “twisty slide”. He quickly pulled me inside the small green tower and we snuggled closely for warmth.
White cotton fell from the sky outside our secluded hiding place. The snow was gentle, and it seemed perfect, it seemed a perfect setting, for what I wanted most. I wanted to be kissed.
“Hey,” he looked me straight in the eyes, and I tried to help myself from not kissing him on the cheek. “Close your eyes,” he told me, and I did so.
“When can I open them?” I giggled.
“Not for a minuet,” he whispered in my ear and his warm breath sent tingles up my back. “I have a surprise for you.”
I wondered what it was, my heart fluttered and I couldn’t breathe. That was when I felt the surge of passion run through my body. His lips were on top of mine, the feeling was amazing, but in a matter of seconds it was over. Oh, how I longed that it would last longer, but our relationship, wouldn’t last much longer after that kiss.
That night, I called up my best friend, Chrissy. “Hey Chris,” I said and she replied with a “hi”. I sat silently. I didn’t want to tell her I had actually kissed someone. Me and her, coming from a strong Mormon family were not supposed to date, and she hoped I wouldn’t go too far.
“You should break up with Rick.” She said to me.
“…Why?”
“You can’t trust him, I saw him kiss Joanne.” She told me, I quickly felt my heart thump. Joanne was Rick’s ex.
“You did?” suddenly, she was describing how she had walked to the playground and seen a girl who looked like Joanne kissing Rick in the tower.
I took a deep breath. It hadn’t been Joanne she had seen, it was me. “Chrissy, I have to tell you something.”
“Yeah?”
“That wasn’t Joanne you saw…It was me.” Tears began to fall. What would she think of me now? I could hear only silence on the other end then, sobbing. The crying lasted for a total of five minuets before Chrissy could talk again.
“I can’t believe-” she took in deep breaths. “That my best friend would-would…” she couldn’t even say it.
“Chris, please. I’m sorry, I didn’t know what I was doing. It was wrong, I feel a rock in my stomach. I feel like I can’t even tell anyone, and you were the only one who I thought would understand.”
“Why did you do it?” she asked me.
“I wasn’t thinking. I’m…” I paused. This was the hardest choice I ever had to make in my life. Friend…or boyfriend. “I’m going to break up with him tomorrow okay? Tomorrow’s Friday, so I can’t think twice about it.”
“Thank you, oh goodness, thank you. I have to go, but I’ll be there with you, if you want me to be.”
“Thank you Chrissy. Thank you for believeing in me and giving me a second chance.” Then, the line was dead.
I rode the bus the next morning to school with a pain in my heart. I didn’t want to do this, but I had to.
I felt the furry teddy bear he had given me for Christmas in my hand, and tears began to leak from my bright blue eyes. “I have to,” my voice was shaking, and I mustered up all my courage in that moment.
I walked down the three stepped bus and quickly slid on the ice, arms catching me. “Easy there,” Rick’s smile made my breath caught, and I almost backed out of breaking his heart. But I had to, I couldn’t let my best friend down.
“Rick, we need to talk.” His smile quickly faded and we began walking down the sidewalk.
“Rick, we shouldn’t have kissed yesterday. If anyone ever found out, then let’s just say I would be in big trouble.”
“But you became a rebel when you first agreed to go out with me,” his brown eyes stared at me. “I love you,” he whispered.
Tears piled up again. “No, we don’t know what love is. Its not a game, its not just a feeling you get when you’ve gone out with someone for two weeks. Its not something two kids can feel from each other.”
“Is…Is this the end?” His voice was shaky, and I looked down to avoid his gaze. I slowly nodded.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, a single tear fell on the white snow, melting it.
“Fine, go back to your religion and your friends. I don’t care. I don’t need you, and don’t you cry for me.” He stared at me and then, he was gone. We caught glimpses of each other, but I stayed with Chrissy.
Occasionally he asked me to become his again, but every time I did my best to resist. I had to, the deepest love I could ever feel was the love for my best friend, and I wouldn’t let Rick ruin that again.
The temptation was strong, but on Valentine’s Day he revealed what he really was to me. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I accepted. But soon enough, two hours later, he was back in the arms of Joanne.
“Please, it was the dumbest mistake I ever made,” he pleaded on his knees. But I couldn’t. I saw what he was, I was no longer blind. I wouldn’t let him in my life again.
The snow is falling, like cotton outside. The playground stands clear in my view, and the teddy bear sits by my computer. I know that I thought I loved him, but I don’t anymore. And I have nothing to be ashamed of. My first kiss, left me in the hardest break up of my life. But I learned that love isn’t just a word, it’s a feeling that makes your heart thump. Makes your ears pound with blood. Makes your hands sweat, and makes your lips terribly sore.
