I Can't

So, this isn't normally what I post but I got tired of all the straight stories. Haha. And I ESPECIALLY got tired of all the immortal love stories that take after Twilight or whatever. So, know what? I decided to throw something else out there. Have fun.

“Danielle, please, no…” She bit her bottom lip, and I could hear the slight urgency in her voice, as she begged me not to do the thing that I knew she wanted with all her mind, and with all her soul right now. She knew, just as I did, that if we kept going; if I didn’t stop kissing her immediately, things were going to go further than either of us ever intended. And yet…it felt so good, so amazing on both sides of the affection, that it was no longer even a matter of whether or not I wanted to be a good girl and do what she told me. That ship had sailed, and now it was more a matter of whether or not I could stop.
My lips trailed against her soft, dark Hispanic skin, running over her jawline and down to her neck. I could hear her breath get even quicker than it already was, and her chest started rising and falling more heavily, more rapidly than before.
Her hand touched my shoulder softly, almost as if she was warning me. Then, I opened my mouth and let my teeth graze lightly against her skin, tempting her, and her gentle touch hardened, becoming an urgent grip.
“That’s it, Kennee. I know what you want because I want it just as damn well as you do,” I whispered, mouth closed and lips pressed against her skin. She didn’t say anything, just swallowed hard, and kept right on with that anxious, desperate look of yearning tinged with hesitation. I could see right into her, feel her conflicted thoughts like we were connected. I slowly brought my face back up so our eyes were level with each other. I hadn’t given her a love bite, not yet, but I would if she could admit what she wanted from me, and let it happen.
I smiled softly at her, and her expression changed slightly, so she looked more sad and desperate than anything else. “Danielle,” she moaned softly, her eyes begging of my understanding. “Please…. just. Stop. I need you⎯” she choked on her words as I reached out and slowly trailed a piece of her hair through my fingers. “I need you to stop because I want this just as much as you might, but it can’t happen. It just can’t.” I didn’t react, just went right on running the strand of her hair through my fingers, and letting my eyes run over her face.
Finally, I slowly parted my lips and spoke. “Why?”
She sighed, and I moved my hand away from her hair and gently rested it on her cheek. She closed her eyes, and let herself lean into my touch, but that was all she allowed. “Because, I love you, and I can’t stand it I somehow end up hurting you by letting things between us change. And not to mention that I have a boyfriend⎯”
“That you don’t love.”
“⎯nonetheless, a boyfriend that I have to be faithful to because he’s just as much a part of my life as you are, and I can’t hurt him.”
“So you’re going to have sex with him and go around pretending you love him, just so that you don’t have to face the fact that you have feelings for me?” I whimpered. For the first time, I allowed my pain to shine through and show in my words.
Her features changed, and sympathy, guilt, and tenderness suddenly showed through. “Danielle, sweetie, no, that’s not how it works. I love both of you, and, yes, maybe I love you more, love you in the way I should love my boyfriend, but…that doesn’t change anything. And, no, I am not having sex with Teanne William, okay? Can you live with that?”
I let my deep blue eyes work their magic on her, allowing them to fill up her eyes with the emotions I was feeling. I unveiled everything, so she could take one look in my eyes and see everything. It worked. I could see the guilt and sympathy overtaking as she gently reached up and tousled my hair, plunging her left hand into it, and running her fingers gently through. She touched my face with a tenderness that made me shiver, and then kissed my lightly on the lips.
Then, turning my head slowly, she put her mouth close to my ear, close enough in a way that made me gulp, and then whispered in the sweetest, softest voice, “Not now, Danielle. I’m sorry. I have to go. I love you, though, and don’t you ever go forgetting it.” Then she was gone.

hey Zoe!
I'll review your piece today.
To be honest, as sick as that might seem, I loved it. It was really well written and you portrayed all her feelings really well. The characterization was well done and developed which is great.
You had some grammar issues but nothing that can't be fixed with some proofreading.

Now some nitpicks.

She bit her bottom lip, and I could hear the slight urgency in her voice, as she begged me not to do the thing her entire body wanted more than anything in the world right now

I didn't like this sentence, it was too long and hard to follow. It was a good hook though, it makes the reader interested in the story and on what th story is about but the structure of it was quite wrong.

and her gently touch hardened

I think that you should change gently to gentle.

And believe or not, that's all I can say.
If you need anything else, just PM me.

Hehe…well…this one is indeed is an interesting piece…wow…now I know what you mean by different. anyway back to business….

“She bit her bottom lip, and I could hear the slight urgency in her voice, as she begged me not to do the thing that I knew she wanted with all her mind, and with all her soul right now.”
The first sentence of your story is way to long. Try to separate it into various sentences. Because the reader may get a little confuse on what you are trying to say. Separate it after the “voice”.

The same goes to: And yet…it felt so good, so amazing on both sides of the affection, that it was no longer even a matter of whether or not I wanted to be a good girl and do what she told me. Seperate it into sentences because what this mean is rather confusing.


Description:
Well, I cannot argue more of the description…you could describe on the setting of the piece. Though I predicted that this seen is within a building, you could describe the things around the characters to fit in to the mood you want to get.

Okay, so....

What descriptions you had were very good. however,
You have very few descriptions. You said, "soft, dark Hispanic skin" and that is a good, short & sweet description... however, there were far to many of these descriptions.
Develop whether or not Kennee is a girl. I... think she's a girl, because of "whether or not I wanted to be a good girl," but I had to go through a few times before catching it. No worries, I had issues with that too in one of my stories.
What does it mean, "so amazing on both sides of the affection" ? It confuzzled me.

Well, I like this on the whole. But it sort of seems like a "part 1." Is it?

yup, definitely interesting...

i have to agree with EmiAnne there, is Kennee a female? though i think she's a girl, but im not really sure....

i like the descriptions you used to describe their emotions, well done!