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Thanks to everyone who reviewed, this is currently being rewritten

Hey there! This hasn't been reviewed yet, so I'll get on it.

I haven't read the first chapter, sorry, but I actually enjoyed this one! It's got a nice balance of description, and flows clearly. It's really good, actually!

There are a few small typos in there that you can pretty easily get if you just scroll through it and read it out loud. But it was generally very small things that wouldn't have much of an impact on your story. Unless, of course, you're extremely nitpicky!

The dialogue between your characters is nice. It's sort of easy going and realistic, just like it should be! You have a nice feeling between the friends that works well. As I said before, this is a lovely story. I'll be happy to read more.

~Amy

Hi.
I didn't really find anything wrong with the story itself, but I would've liked some of your sentences to have been shorter.

Lauren2010 wrote: She blinked a few times, wondering if she was, in fact, further away from the ceiling that usual. The answer came with a slobbery lick-to-the-face by Alaster from where he stood on the floor next to her.

than usual.The answer came with a slobbery lick-to-the-face from Alaster, standing on the the floor next to her.

“What” he asked, oatmeal spilling out of his mouth and back into the bowl as he spoke.

"What?" He asked, oatmeal spilling out of his mouth and back into the bowl.
(You don't need to tell us it happened as he spoke.)

The level of activity in the village was lower than usual. It made Natura a bit uneasy, like something was wrong.

You could combine these two.
The level of activity in the village was lower than usual, making Natura a bit uneasy.
Or, The level of activity in the village was lower than usual, like something was wrong, which made Natura a bit uneasy.

It's probably not necessary to change, but that's how I write and that's what I like. I like things to be short, simple.

--McMourning

Hi Lauren!

I just read your two chapters and I am intrigued. Can't wait to read the second part! I loved the flow of it and I have no nitpicks except maybe for one: If Natura was really screaming, why didn't anyone else run up? Where are her parents? Why didn't her brother come? I know mine would move heaven and earth if his sisters were in trouble. Just a thought....

Please pm me for the next part?

Tanya