I'm Planning a Murder

This was fun to write. Hopefully it's fun to read, as well.

[Edit] Tweaked the length of a few lines.

I'm Planning a Murder

I’m planning a murder –
just wait, and you’ll see
the perfect crime committed,
one
so amazing,
so unforseen,
so ordinary,
a crime where the perpetrator,
the victim,
the judge and jury,
are all the same –
an impossible crime,
the perfect kind,
because I’ll
never
get
caught.

Oh, yes.

I’m planning a murder,
and it is such an easy thing to do.
A kind word here,
a harsh word there,
one random act of kindness,
one random act of cruelty,
and the stage is set,
the players in place,
costumes donned and props at hand
as the audience awaits the show,
the big debut,
while the leading star
downs a case of stage fright.

But,
of course,
“The show must go on,”
and a part in a play
must be faithfully reprised
straight from the script
like the playwright conceived,
and though the players know
their roles
and
the ending
of the play,
they must parade upon the stage
and live out
each
role’s
doom.

Sounds like fate to me.

A crime of fate,
of circumstance –
is that a crime at all?
The murder that I have in mind,
the murder that’s my perfect crime,
the murder no one knows about
but you
and me,
is not,
I would hope,
a crime of fate,
but a crime I commit
of my own free will.

I would hate to think
that every aspect
of my life
from first
to last
was dictated
solely
by circumstance.

I’d like to think
I have a say
in what I do,
who I become,
and as I recklessly make way for the newer me,
I can’t help but wonder,
“Was the old me so bad?
Will the newer be better?”

“Maybe the murder can wait.”

But,
of course,
it’s far too late –
the old me’s dead;
I took its place.
There’s room enough for only one,
and only one,

but only one will never live for very long –
I’m planning a murder, you see.

You know what I think? I think it should be more about the 'how'. Uh, I mean, Hi! Good job! A little obscure, though. Basically all you say is that you're planning a murder and it's gonna be cool. I can totally see someone grinning and rubbing their hands together with glee. But who? And how? And why? And maybe the title could be something more obscure, like, My Horrid Thoughts In Math Class or The Project or something. And please understand that my little excited rant is only because your poem captured my attention and got me interested, which is exactly what you want in a poem. So while I think you've written something gleefully sadistic, there's always more to do, and I want to know "HOW?"

Glad you enjoyed it so much. As for your questions:

The who is covered in these lines:

a crime where the perpetrator,
the victim,
the judge and jury,
are all the same –

The how in these:

A kind word here,
a harsh word there,
one random act of kindness,
one random act of cruelty,

And the why most concisely here:

“Was the old me so bad?
Will the newer be better?”

All I'll say is that there's more to this poem than first meets the eye; what it is, I leave to you to uncover, though hopefully I wasn't too subtle with it. ^^;

As for the title, it is what it is, I can't think of anything better, and it is a very attention-grabbing title, no?

I really liked this, and it was really uhh...vague? It was certainly a head scratcher because of all of the plotting going on. It made my head buzz which means I actually had to think about it and its deeper meaning. Anyway, I loved it, and I think I know who it is that's getting murdered. This isn't much of a review, but I just had to tell you how much I enjoyed this.

I thought it was fast-paced, light in a dark sort of way and fun in a devious manner. I don't think it leaves too much to question-- he is planning a murder, after all. He can't give it all away.
Anyways, a joy to read, though I thought you took the stage-play metaphor and ran with it... of a cliff.
It looks long now that I've finished it but it is the most engaging poem I've read on this site.
I really, really loved it.
Keep up the great poetry,
xxooxx
****The Universe*****

I'm glad you both enjoyed it so much.

@Empress - That metaphor took a life of its own. XD But I liked it, and it worked well, so I kept it. If you have any suggestions, I'd be happy to hear them.

Hey there!

So, this is the second of your poems I've run across. It doesn't disappoint at all. You've got this really great approach to the entire thing which makes this poem so enjoyable. I get this sense of a kind of dark humour within it; not sure if I'm supposed to but there you go.

As in the other poem of your I reviewed, you manage to keep things flowing really nicely through your speaker's voice. You don't let it drop, you keep the reader intrigued. And you've picked a nice topic with an underlying message that all works really well.

I have a feeling that, looking at previous reviews, you might have made the poem a tad too vague. This isn't too bad because it's something that leaves everything up the the reader's imagination, but I just thought I'd say watch out for that.

Also, maybe you want to expand on the two questions you have at the end of one stanza? Expanding is always a good thing to review, and it also means you could clear the vagueness up a little.

But awesome job! I'll watch out for more of your poetry!

~Amy

Thanks for the review, AquaMarine. :D

The dark humor was definitely supposed to be present; it's practically the reason I wrote this in the first place. XD

I think I made things a tad too vague as well, but I'm a bit afraid that making things more obvious would come off as anvilicious. Right now, even if the depth is missed, at least the surface is enjoyable, and it's not impossible to uncover the depth.

As for the questions, I don't think expanding them would work. They were supposed to be simple questions that I'm sure everyone has asked themselves at one point or another; elaborating on them would lessen their relatability.