*Demetri*
I pulled on a pair of boxers and brushed my hair out of my face, which wore a wide smile. I know it's wrong tricking Starlet like that, but with her being schizophrenic and an idiot savant it was just way too easy. Star was dumb in most everything except she had and excellent memory, she only had to listen to a song once and she already could recite the whole thing. She could read a book and tell you every single detail about it. Other than that excellent memory of hers she's just a pretty face and a bangin' body. I know thinking of my little sister in that way was wrong, but, like I said, it was just way too easy.
"Don't forget your clothes, dear!" She ran back in and put on one of my shirts, not that I was bothered by it at all, she looked really cute when she did that.
The sound of water filled the giant house we currently lived in, it was left to us when out parents died, along with a hell a lot of money. Mom used to be a famous fashion designer and dad a even more famous lawyer. Together the two of them really raked in some money. They were devastated when the found out Starlet was schizophrenic, they did everything they could to make her seem like a normal child, but Star was just way to special to come across as normal. She made decent grades in school despite her schizophrenia but never made more than a high B or a low A because "He" would always distract her in class, causing her to break out in tears and yell. And if she's screaming and crying she can't pay attention and remember what the teacher said. If it wasn't for "Him" she would make straight As.- The only other thing about her is that she can't do things on her own, everyone needs to tell her what to do and when to do it, or else she would be totally lost. Basically, she can't be alone- At first my parents thought this as an excuse, but when she started cutting because "He" said if she didn't he would do it for her, they decided to seek help.
I jumped out the bed and made my way to the kitchen to make breakfast, if I didn't make it she wouldn't eat. Which is part of the reason she's so skinny, I forget that I have to make her food too. I cooked up her favorite, chocolate-chip pancakes, oranges, and a tall glass of apple juice and for my self bacon, eggs, and sausages. I couldn't eat mine around her though, with her being vegetarian and all she always glares at me when I eat meat around her.
"Breakfast!" Almost instantly she exploded into the kitchen, with her reading glasses on and a book hanging limply from her right hand. I had already hid my food in the oven.
"Thanks, big brother," for some reason she almost never addressed me by my actual name," this looks yummy." She shoved a whole pancake in her mouth.
"Chew, Star, chew." She smiled, and obeyed silently. She swallowed and I could see a giant lump of food move down her throat.
"Oh, yeah," she laughed," I forgot. Why is it that I can't remember simple things, but I can remember difficult stuff?" She laughed at some unheard joke and finished eating, this time cutting her pancakes into small pieces. The light storming in from a window over the sink gave everything a golden like glow. Suddenly the phone rang and Star jumped, knocking over her apple juice.
"Aw," she whispered, her face contorted into that look she got when she was on the verge of tears," Oh, I'm sorry big brother." I sighed and handed her a napkin.
"It's okay, Star, it's just apple juice." I ran to the phone and picked it up quickly before whoever was on the other end thought we weren't home.
"Hello," I whispered, glancing back at Star nervously.
"Sup, Demepop?" I rolled my eyes and almost hung up in her face.
"Nanali, I told you to never call me that again! What do you want anyway?" I could practically hear her frown over the phone.
"I just wanted to talk."
"You need tutoring again?"
"No, just needed to hear your voice." I hung up in her face and turned back to Star, I swear, that little girl just got on my nerves so much sometimes. Star was on her knees, wiping at some juice that spilled on the floor.
" Star, get up," her being on her knees made me nervous. In a matter of seconds she was up and eating again. I sighed and waited for her to stop eating. Why'd did such a hot girl have to be so fucking stupid?
I read the one from before, and I thought that your characterization of Star was welldone, but Demetri doesn't really do it for me. He's too flat and we're still concentrating on Star, even when we're in Demetri's head, which annoys me. I think you could change this by just staying true to your character, talk about his life rather than Star's schooling and such, and... yeah, that's it. 
