Elation

Sparkly enhancements
Violet chases
Energies clash
Radical candy
Passion explosions
Raw emotion
Beating clarity
World revealing
Love movements
Rainbow glares
Poised concentration
Elation

Whoa! Trippin', dudette!

Sorry, the hippie in me is trying to break out. Is that the kind of feel you were going with this poem? The word "Sparkly" seems out of place... while the entire rest of the poem just seems... ambiguous? There doesn't feel to be much substance to it, but it could have been your intention with aiming for such a vague idea such as elation. Trying to capture the emotion more than anything of substance, right? Radical! Nothing "wrong" if what you intended for is a feeling rather than a motive behind the poem in the first place.

My only real picky question: can a rainbow truly "glare"?

Have fun writing!

~Tarver

Sonicroyale wrote:My only real picky question: can a rainbow truly "glare"?

If you make the glare the noun and have it being described by the word "rainbow", then yes. Is that what you were intending yoha_ahoy?

I liked this. My only comment would be to change "sparkly" to "sparkling" (it just fits better in my mind that way).

Sonicroyale wrote:
My only real picky question: can a rainbow truly "glare"?

If you make the glare the noun and have it being described by the word "rainbow", then yes.

Yeah; I actually meant that; but is a rainbow capable of being glaring?

I concur with Duskglimmer, though, that "sparkling" fits better.

~Tarver

the rainbow glares was in my mind like all different colors of eyes looking at you, like you see a pair of eyes and the change from blue to brown to green... and whatnot. something like that.

There is so much more to this poem than just the words. It sparks the imagination. I really like it.
Kind of agree with duskglimmer about changing 'sparkly' to 'sparkling'....hmmmm....actually I'm not sure!

I am...

sigh.

I am a cynic. Yes it's a string of excellent images, but unfortunately - it's a string of images. Call me old fashioned and beat me with a hockey stick, Norma Jean, but I like a poem to go somewhere. There are a lot of people who can write strings of beautiful images, but the fact it, really good poetry is distinguished by so much more than just the language. I'll rate your vocabulary and eye for beauty highly, but I think those are tools, and you can do so much more than just string pretty pictures together.

That's the whole point though....you can't string sentances together to describe an emotion like that. Sometimes words are just more effective. Maybe it isn't what might be called a poem as such, but it's still there - it still makes you see what she's talking about. We all know that feeling and to be honest I think she's done well describing it at all. It could have turned out too...I don't know, twee? if she'd used sentances and too many intervening words.
Still not sure about sparkly/sparkling though! lol.