This is my first non-fanfiction I'm currently working on. I've never delved with original characters before or even introduce them at the least on a story, and I'm just hoping I could get some feedback, reviews, and tips on this. Thanks. By the way, the story is a Romantic Fiction (hence why I put it here) with a slight touch of fantasy, if that's what you'd call it... or science fiction, probably.
Here we go...
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Crash.
It happened too fast; he felt an immense thrust right in his abdomen, and he fell until a sharp pain ambled towards his bottom. At this, a yelp suddenly echoed across his ears, and the noisy clattering of books spiraled out from almost everywhere. He collected his thoughts for a moment and recuperated his vision, and once his eyes had adjusted, there she was.
She was an elegant, bronze-skinned damsel, so to speak. A brunette – her hair was tied into a ponytail with a small, reddish ribbon. She had pure, hazel eyes that gleamed marvelously; it showered innocence right all over her looks. Her pale, natural-looking lips made it obvious that she didn’t wear any make-up at that time. The perfect jaw line and nose structure only complemented more on her beauty, and he couldn’t help but admire her.
“I-I’m so sorry.”
High-pitched. Soprano. It was a delectable voice that sounded almost like a serenade to his ears.
“I’m the one who should be sorry,” he began immediately. “I really wasn’t looking.”
She didn’t respond. She began piling up books on her hand one after another, as a large quantity had already scattered all over the sidewalk. Without any hesitations, he gladly knelt down and started to help her.
“Thank you.”
This time, her reply sent shivers down his spine. It was so solace, so… alluring. It made him wonder if she could sing professionally.
He picked up the last book and handed it over with a warm smile. As she stood up, her eyes waved back and forth as if she didn’t want to make direct eye contact. A pinkish glow grew right up on her cheeks.
“I’m really, really sorry. I was a bit clumsy and-“
“Stop that already, I know. I’m honestly a bit clumsy too and I do think I was the one who slipped up,” he interrupted.
“Thanks,” she said with a rather sheepish grin. She turned around and started walking once again.
He stared at her until she faded from his vision. It was rare to see a kind of girl that stunning nowadays. He cast away his thoughts as he realized that he had to get going. He didn’t want to be late for such a silly thing.
He took one swift at his watch – 7:53. Only seven minutes till the bell rings. He crossed the road as fast as he could and started sprinting towards the school.
Come on… I can’t be late. Not on the first day.
He kept screaming those words right into his mind to motivate himself – it worked effectively as no sooner, he had arrived with about two minutes to spare.
The Forette school campus was amazingly wide. Patches of lush green grass and evergreen oaks crowded the area, along with numerous students idly sitting down as if everywhere was a seat. Old and new faces alike greeted him either with a friendly wave or a bloodshot glare. He didn’t doubt of the latter though. He knew he had it rough during the first few years in this prison-made-school facility that was irrefutably bittersweet for his tastes.
It seemed that a whole lot of students don’t even care about being late. But he was. The first day had always been his mark in school history as the first introducer of the class. It certainly launched a fine pact between him and his teachers, and would usually govern a whole lot of benefits. Not exactly teacher’s pet benefits, but more of friendship-related standards.
He ran down through the cement path and quickly climbed up the stairs, right towards the entrance. Two glass doors welcomed him into the school and as he entered, he couldn’t help but swipe the sweat off his forehead and greet him a job well done.
With only a minute left, his heart pounded as he began searching for his first class, Geometry. He ran through the hallways and sighted a clear mark of his destination on one of the doors. He twisted the knob and pressed the door open, and a skimpy smile along with numerous eyes greeted him once he entered.
“Ah, Mr. Robert Evans, such a pleasure to meet you.”
The youthful looking man wore a newly-clipped brown coat and brown slacks. He was a handsome-looking man for his age – he had a pair of jet black eyes and golden brown hair combed smoothly and almost cleanly. He had slightly thick facial hair around his chin and a narrow-shaped face. All in all, it was safe to say that he was going to be his new Geometry teacher.
“You can call me Robert, sir,” he finally answered.
“Alright then, Robert. We’re about to start class now, please take a seat,” the teacher ordered. Robert navigated himself towards an empty seat on the far end of the classroom. He saw a few of his friends there, relieving him that he knew at least some of them.
But, as he strolled to the end, his jaw dropped in shock.
The same, hazel eyes; flowing brown hair tied into a ponytail; the reddish ribbon that almost looked like a trademark for a girl like her – it was all there.
Impossible… How did she…?
“Hurry up, Robert. The seat’s right over there,” the teacher gestured. He tore away the expression he had and sat. He maintained his posture as the teacher began lecturing, but his eyes remained fixated on the girl, concentrated, and ready to observe. The girl chuckled; she knew already that he was looking.
