A Friendship Worth Saving

leeanna13097 wrote:There he was. There was Bethany's best friend--kissing Jade. This first sentence confuses me. If you switch to Chauncey's point of view after this, I think you should just keep it that way. Get rid of this sentence so it's all from the same person's POV.
"What are you doing?" a girl inquired angrily in the background, staring at them, bewildered.
"Bethany, I...was just kissing her..." the guy explained after he broke away from Jade. He walked toward his best friend slowly. I noticed that you used "a girl" in the second paragraph and then he says "Bethany". Wouldn't he have to turn around if he doesn't know who the girl is at first?
"Yeah, I noticed," she snapped. Tears started to fill her eyes.
"Beth, what's wrong?" he questioned worriedly.
She folded her long arms across her rather flat chest. She still stared straight at him. "Now that you're dating her, you'll never know." With that, she ran off toward her own house, crying all the way home.

"How could you do that?" the boy asked Jade furiously. "Why did you kiss me?"
"I wanted to kiss you," she explained flirtatiously. "Is there something wrong with that? It's not like you're dating that shorty."
"So what if I'm not dating her? Did you happen to see her face just then? She was destroyed." After a pause, he continued. "And don't you ever call her shorty again," he said defensively.
"Oh, I saw her face, and I'm quite proud of it." The girl examined her nails as if the conversation didn't interest her one bit. "I've never been able to hurt her feelings before. To me, this seems weird. I don't think someone would say this to someone else. You may want to change it. I guess you're her weakness. Oh, and technically she is a shorty. She's seventeen and shorter than five-feet You don't need the dash in between "five" and "feet".."
"How--?" he broke off, not wanting to hear what her answer was going to be. "You're just a shallow, low-life jerk." Before she could reply, he ran in the same direction as Bethany.
"Chauncey, please, stop!" Jade called after him, suddenly sounding apologetic. Fake apologetic.
He didn't turn around; he just kept running toward his best friend's house.

Bethany lie on her made-up bed face down in the pillow, hoping no one could hear her crying. This sentence sounds awkward to me. I had a hard time understanding it. I think you may want to use "Lay" instead of "lie". I think there should be a comma or a semi-colon (not sure which one) between "bed" and "face", too.
Suddenly, the door opened slightly. "Bethany? It's me," a boy greeted softly. I'm not sure if "greeted" is the right word here. Maybe something along the lines of "said" or "mumbled". Just a suggestion.
Her breathing stopped for one moment.
"Are you okay?" he questioned, coming a little closer.
She dared to look at him. "Why do you care?" she asked bitterly through clenched teeth.
"Because you're my friend, and I'll always care about you," he replied kind-heartedly. After a moment of awkward silence, he continued, "May I...sit beside you?"
She slowly sat up, placing a feather pillow behind her back so she didn't lean against the wooden backboard of her bed. "You do what you want to do, don't you? Why do you need my permission to do something?"
He sat beside her, barely touching her shoulder. "I'm really sorry about what happened earlier. I didn't want to kiss her. But...why did you get so mad?"
"You mean you can't figure it out?" she replied, staring at him coldly. Behind the tears and coldness in her expression, Chauncey could just make out warmth...and love.
It finally hit him. He felt like someone just smacked him across the cheek. "You like me?" he thought out loud, disbelief in his voice.
She didn't reply, just stared at him with sapphire colored eyes.
"Ah, I can't believe I'm so stupid!" he whisper loudly, smacking his head with his hand.
Bethany grabbed his hand that covered his face and pulled it away, holding it in his lap. "You're not stupid," she whispered. "I should've told you sooner, but I was scared you wouldn't like me back, or it might risk our friendship, or--"
"Beth, just...stop," he said flatly, looking down at his hand entwined in her small hand. "I...I...."
She saw his expression and let go of his hand immediately. "You don't like me back, do you?" It wasn't really a question she wanted him to answer.
After another moment of silence, he answered, "No."
"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I should've just let you kiss her. I shouldn't have gotten mad. We wouldn't be in this situation if it wasn't for me."
"Why are you apologizing? I'm the one breaking your heart." He suddenly got a grin on his face.
"What...?" Bethany said confusedly.
"Just because I don't like you right now, doesn't mean I won't grow to like you," he explained. "We could still date."
"What? I mean, I don't want to date you if you don't feel the same way about me and--"
"Come on, Beth, you want to date me, don't you?"
"Well, yeah, but I don't want to beg you to do something you don't want to do."
"I do want to date you, though," he explained sweetly. "I want to try it. The worst that could happen is we go back to being friends."
The tears all left Bethany's face and she smiled. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure."
After some thought, she said, "Promise me one thing."
He wrapped his arm around her and dangled his hand over her shoulder. "What's that?"
"Promise if we don't work out, we'll never lose our friendship. We'll always be best friends no matter what."
"I promise," he pledged, gazing down at her.
She grinned. She leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. She had had so many dreams of him holding her, and now it was finally happening.

Alright. So, I liked this. Your grammar and punctuation is good. I only found a few mistakes in that department. I do have a few nit-picks, though.
First, the conversation between Bethany and Chauncey. I found it kind of awkward. I'm not sure if, in real life, this would happen. If it would, it would definitely have some argumentative parts and it wouldn't go by this quickly. I'm not sure if Chauncey would go along with this that easily and I don't think Bethany would have been able to keep such control over her emotions if she really likes Chauncey.
Second, Jade. She seemed very school-girlish. Not very upset that Chauncey cared about Bethany. I don't know if that was kind of the point, but it's just a thought.
Those are really my only nit-picks. Overall, it was good.
PM me if you have any questions.