The Ending.

Watching the rain wash away my blood from my finger tips.
Numb with fear, staring at the glass pieces in my hand.
Listening to the waves crashing against the rocks.
Being washed over and over by the gray ocean waters.
Feeling the mist upon my face, breathing in the ocean air.
Slowly, gaining the nerve come back in my arm.
Blood dripping off into the rocks below.
Standing on the cliff against the roaring and crying sky.
Suddenly, feeling the ground beneath me gone; Free.
The air blowing in my face.
The waves getting closer.
The cold rush of the ocean water surrounding my body.
The waves taking me with them.
The thrashing waves, the rocks.
A piercing thrill of pain throughout my whole body.
Screaming, but nothing but bubbles before my eyes rising.
Slipping away from the light, falling deeper and deeper into the openness around me.
It's Black...

Wow, powerful images in this poem. I was a little confused however why it switches from the person being injured and having glass in their hand to them drowning. Maybe it's just me and I'm not grasping the switch... or maybe I'm making it up and there isn't really a switch. I don't know. Wait, I just reread it. So the person is cut and then falls or jumps into the water right? Weird. Are they suicidal?

Anyway, I liked it, especially the last line. It's short, conclusive, and perfect. (he, and the poem sounds rather lovely if you read it while listening to Eyes on Fire... adds to the whole mood )

Yeah, I agree it is quite powerful. It's a good piece, I like it

Kat Jackson wrote:Watching the rain wash away my(This my isn't necessary) blood from my finger tips.
Numb with fear, staring at the glass pieces in my hand.
Unable to feel a thing.
The rocks being washed over and over by pure gray of the ocean water.
Feeling the mist upon my face, breathing in the ocean smell.
Slowly, feeling the nerve come back in my arm.I don't quite get this line. Do you mean the sense of touch returned to your arm?
Blood dripping off my finger tips onto the rocks.
Standing on the cliff against the roaring and crying sky.
Suddenly, feelings the ground beneath me gone; Free.Again, this line doesn't sound right.
The air blowing in my face.
The waves getting closer.
The cold rush of the ocean water surrounding my body.
The waves taking me with them.
The thrashing waves, the rocks.
A piercing thrill of pain throughout my whole body.
Screaming, but(Consider removing this 'but') nothing but bubbles before my eyes rising.
Slipping away from the light, falling deeper and deeper into the dark openness I like 'dark openness' around me...
It's Black...

Update: I think fullstops at end of each line is not right, like in the second last line it would be nice if you end it with a comma.

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Keep writing,
~lava

I think you use some pretty powerful imagery in this poem to describe the speaker's suicide. And while you are being quite original on the theme of death, I feel like this poem is missing an emotion connection. I want to feel the despair of being driven to suicide. The gnawing loneliness, the depression the speaker must be enduring.

What about when they jump off the cliff. You describe it as free. There has to be more. An exhilaration, adrenaline pumping, perhaps even second thoughts? Fear as to how it is going to feel when the speaker hits the water. Maybe doubt as water is filling their lungs. Regret or guilt possibly?

I want you to explore the emotions involved in suicide and the seriousness of the situation. That way your reader can connect to the poetry and feel as if they are the one's committing suicide.

Hi there Kat. I am Conrad, and I will be your reviewer for today.

So, you've got something pretty powerful going on here. Right away we're hit with some pretty intense images. I would suggest holding off a bit, letting us get comfortable, then hitting us with these images. I think the effect will be much better if you do so.

Also, I think you could expand your description here a bit. As it is, this is really too short to leave much of an impact on me. Draw it out a little, and I think the effect will be much better.

So, a good start, but you still need to work with it a little. PM me if you have any questions or comments.

Good job, and good luck.

-Conrad Rice

I understand the bit about jumping off the cliff, but why does the person in question cut themselves with a shard of glass? I understand that it's something you do to relieve the pain and anxiety of depression but if they're already set on killing themselves by jumping off a cliff, why did they need to cut themselves as well? Especially since, if the glass shard is already there they cut just slit the artery in their wrist and die the easier way.
Besides that, great poem with wonderful imagery. Sorry if that was a bit of a ramble but that part of your poem struck me as odd.
Keep typing away,
Empress